Super spaz

Proving once again my theory that there's a "Simpsons" quote for every occasion, as soon as I realized that Michael McDonald soundalike Taylor Hicks was going to sing "Taking It To The Streets" on last night's "American Idol," I flashed to this exchange between Troy McClure and his agent, MacArthur Parker:

Parker: Troy! Mac Parker. Ever hear of Planet of the Apes?
Troy McClure: Uh ... the movie or the planet?
Parker: The brand-new multimillion dollar musical. And you are starring ... as the human.Troy McClure: It's the part I was born to play, baby!

Taylor was my favorite last night, even with dancing so twitchy and spastic that Jon Peter "Pen Boy" Lewis looks like an original B-boy in comparison. Before I send you off to Dan Fienberg's much funnier take, one other quick thought: Why is it that when the teenage girls sing mature songs, the judges complain that they want them to be "young" and "fun," but when the teenage guys sing them, the judges compliment them for being "old souls"? And why am I even listening to anything but the songs and Simon?

Rather than catch up on "Scrubs," "Shield," etc., I took most of the rest of the night off from TV to read a book -- but, since I'm a junkie, it was a book written by Greg House, M.D.