Friday Night Lights: Hey there, shaky shaky-cam

Spoilers for "Friday Night Lights" just as soon as I run a few suicide sprints...

I never got around to writing up last week's episode, but as I was contemplating it, I had a conversation with Fienberg about the obviously NBC-mandated changes the series had undergone lately. I pointed to the speechifying, the way characters who were originally presented as mysteries for us to unravel were giving regular monologues about their feelings and aspirations. Dan pointed to the more traditional cinematography, the loss of the jittery documentary look of the pilot and first few episodes. It wasn't that the show had become bad, just that it had lost many of its most distinctive elements -- had started to feel like just another TV show, albeit a very well-made one -- in a futile attempt to bring in more viewers.

I don't know if Kevin Reilly just had his back turned the week tonight's episode was produced, or if this was the point in the production cycle where Peter Berg and Jason Katims said, "Screw it; we're going back to making our show," or if it was just a fluke, but tonight's episode felt the most "Friday Night Light"-ish since very early in the season.

The shaky-cam made its triumphant return, along with a cameo appearance by the car window cam. While Taylor did a bit of monologuing with Smash, most of the interesting interactions featured things unsaid (Riggins father and son bonding by falling off the wagon at the same time) or said casually (Taylor having a laugh with Street). And I got chills when Smash gave his pre-game prayer all the way through the arrival of Mr. Riggins (even though I could see it coming), the first time the show's affected me deeply in a while. I know it would get old if they showed Smash's prayer every single week, but the use of prayer and religion has always been one of this show's goldmines, and it was good to see that back, too.

Not everything was perfect. Tyra and Julie are apparently best friends now -- even though Tyra looks like she's 10 years older than Julie -- as part of the ongoing Operation: Give Adrianne Palicki Something to Do. And Grandma Saracen, senile or no, seemed out of character both in the scene where Tyra gave Julie advice on how to manipulate Matt and the one where the rally girls kidnapped Matt in his boxers.

But I'm excited to see the next episode, just to see if this one was a fluke or a return to the original form. (Plus, I never object to seeing Hey It's That Guy Brett Cullen, here suitably seedy as Pa Riggins.)

What did everybody else think?

Ugly Betty: How's it been?

Back in late October/early November when "Earl" and "The Office" were showing original episodes every week and "Survivor: Eugenics Wars" was starting to get good post-mutiny, "Ugly Betty" inadvertently dropped off my radar. I let a half dozen or so episodes build up on the TiVo, then kept saving them for a time when Marian and I could watch them together, and it never quite happened. I intend to catch up at some point, after life gets less hectic, but I'm curious whether the people who stuck with it remain pleased. Without getting too much into spoiler territory, how's our girl holding up?

Great Moments in Super Bowl History

Nice trade, Raiders. Are any of the guys the Raiders received in the Gruden trade even on the roster anymore? But here is one of the greatest Peter King stories of all-time. Here is a taste.

Debate of the Week: Who got the better of the Jon Gruden trade?

Quick answer: The Raiders.

Smart answer: It's a classic trade-that-helps-both-teams deal.

How do you feel about that one, Pete? The Raiders ended up with Phillip Buchanon, Langston Walker and some other stiffs. They did end up with $8M that allowed the team to pay off Norv Turner and Art Shell.

And all the Buccaneers got was some stupid Lombardi Trophy.

Late links

Some personal stuff has gotten in the way of the professional column-writing (blog posts are much easier to put together), but I've had a couple of pieces in the paper this week, with at least one more to come. Monday featured another mailbag, while today is a grab-bag review and news column, with the second item -- a preview of tomorrow night's very silly "30 Rock" -- probably of the most interest to What's Alan Watching? readers.

Veronica Mars: Detectin' ain't easy

Spoilers for "Veronica Mars" coming right up...

As most of you know, after the Dean O'Dell arc wraps up, "Veronica" goes off the air for a couple of months for the CW's "aspirational" reality show about the Pussycat Dolls, then comes back with five self-contained episodes as a test to see if that's the direction the show should go in next year. (Assuming, of course, there is a next year.) And if the last couple of episodes are an indication, maybe done-in-one is the right direction, since the Mysteries of the Week have been by far the best thing about each.

While trying to blackmail a judge was one of the two or three dumbest things Veronica has ever done, the story overall worked very well. Early on, there was just enough ambiguity that I would have buyed either the Twue Wuv or blackmail explanations for Wendy's behavior, and by the time Max bought her freedom, the two characters had been so well-established that the show could get away with several scenes in which all the regulars were either absent or besides the point. I can't remember the last time I invested this much in one of Veronica's clients, and it's a credit to Diane Ruggiero that I cared about both Max and Wendy.

On the other stories, we're now two weeks into the O'Dell mystery and I don't feel like we've learned a whole lot, plus they've played the same note twice in a row about Keith's fame getting in the way of a good undercover op. The 'shipper scenes felt character-consistent, but I'm tired of stories about Veronica's trust issues, and the promos for next week (which, in fairness, are probably as non-representative as all the CW promos have been) looked like we're in for even more angsty dullness.

Some other thoughts:

• So I guess the mission to smuggle in every line of "Lebowski" one piece at a time has now been overtaken by a quest for "Galactica" references.
• Am I the only one who absolutely didn't recognize Madison until Veronica identified her? Either a bad wig or a bad hairstyle or something.
  
• Favorite scene: Keith saluting Lamb at the stoplight. Diane gives good one-liner, but sometimes the best comedy is silent.
  
• Somebody with more free time than me want to go back and do the math on how many episodes each non-Veronica/Keith/Logan regular has been in this season? Rob said in his TWoP interview that the supporting cast (other than Parker) would be featured more heavily in the rest of the season than they were in the rape arc, but Wallace has been MIA for a couple of weeks and Weevil was the only non-Holy Trinity member to show up here.
  

What did everybody else think?

House: And I never learned to read!!!

I'm guessing last night's Very Special Episode of "House" was a love-it-or-hate-it proposition for most people, though my reaction was more in the middle. I appreciated the attempt to avoid the formula, laughed at the early clinic scenes and even enjoyed House's struggle to be human for five minutes with his patient, but I really hope the writers don't want us to think that House's Deep, Dark Secret explains everything about why he is who he is.

The Cameron story, meanwhile, missed the mark, assuming there was a mark in the first place. And I'm not sure the first episode after the Tritter quagmire is the best time to do a non-formula episode. Better to get back to doing what the show does best for at least a few weeks before trying to reinvent the wheel again.

What did everybody else think?

Don't Forget About Marvin

Marvin Harrison is not your typical wide receiver. Harrison does not have a gold Mohawk or gold grill. He doesn't boast or perform choreographed touchdown dances. Nor does he overdose on pills. Harrison is a rare breed in a position that breeds outlandish personalities. It is easy to miss Harrison.

Especially when he disappears in the big game.

Gomer and Tony Dungy get a lot of heat for losing the big game, but realize that Harrison has done his fair share of going Copperfield in the big game.

Harrison has averaged just over 3 receptions for 46 yards and 0 touchdowns during his last six playoff games.

2006
Championship Game: 4 receptions, 41 yards, 0 TDs.
Divisional Playoff Game: 4 receptions, 45 yards, 0 TDs.
Wild Card: 2 receptions, 48 yards, 0 TDs.
2005
Divisional Playoff Game: 3 receptions, 52 yards, 0 TDs.
2004
Divisional Playoff Game: 5 receptions, 44 yards, 0 TDs.
Wild Card: 4 receptions, 50 yards, 0 TDs.

(And sports writers want to compare him to Jerry Rice. Harrison is more like Tim Brown.) When it comes to a team of chokers, you have to figure that Harrison stands the highest on the whole team.

Timeline of a Tragedy: A (Hater) Nation Mourns

As a plastic bobble head, I have a great respect for animals such as Barbaro who will be melted down into a suitable mate for me. No seriously, my brother was once Seattle Slew. True story. But here is a look at how the events went down yesterday.

From the Desk of Lil Hater, Tuesday, 9:24 am PST: Here's my take on the latest medical update on injured racehorse Barbaro: Just shoot the goddamn horse already.

From the Desk of NFL Adam, Tuesday, 9:54 am: Its done.

From the Desk of Lil Hater, 10:06 am. I didn't realize I had that much pull in the world. Here's my take on Al Davis' attempt at running the Raiders at age 143: Just cover the geezer's head with a pillow for a few minutes already.

From the Desk of NFL Adam, Tuesday, 10:30 am: Working on it.

Seriously though, if you're a horse doctor, all that means is that you have an NRA membership and friends at Alpo, right? How can you flunk the horse medicine course at vet school, the book is only 1 page long -- "In case of illness, shoot the horse", right?

What, is this too soon?

What I don't understand is why they didn�t do some of that animal testing on Barbaro before they put him into the ground. Like hey look, they are going to kill Barbaro, lets slap some of this toxic lipstick on him before he goes. Hey, how about giving him some of these cancer pills that caused brain tumors in mice. His life would have at least meant something then. These guys didn't even make a jacket out of that horse.

Seriously (I mean it this time), I feel real bad for the horse's owners right now. Here's hoping they got enough horse semen out of him before he croaked, to make a couple bucks. The same goes for Al Davis.

Studio 60: I hate snakes

Spoilers for "Studio 60" coming up just as soon as I figure out why NBS would allow its "flagship" show to feature so many plugs for NBC series...

Wait, I'm confused: was it Sorkin's dream to write for "SNL" or to write for "Three's Company"? Because between the Two Dates On One Night and Locked On The Roof, all the episode was lacking was the Misunderstood Overheard Phone Conversation where Matt started to believe that Harriet was pregnant. Doesn't matter if you have Danny comment on the hackiness of the roof situation; it's still hacky, and no amount of highbrow name-dropping can disguise that. Commedia Del'Arte, this ain't.

I'll go with the cell phone issue, as the latest TCA press tour was held at a top LA hotel where you could only get reception in the strangest of places, and being outdoors wasn't always a help. But Tom lying to Lucy about the dinner was the most idiotic of Idiot Plots, a decision made for no reason except that the plot wouldn't work without it.

(Speaking of both TCA and Tom's lie, I don't think I've ever been at a dinner where they had the actors wait tables, but Jimmy Kimmel once cooked burgers for us and I once ordered Martha Stewart to serve us all lunch, so there's at least a little precedent.)

And the fact that Sorkin has stretched Harriet's dinner across three episodes makes all the telegraphing even more painful; any viewer who's intelligent enough, in Sorkin's mind, to watch this show would be intelligent enough to see every single plot development coming at least twenty minutes, if not an entire episode, in advance. The trip to Pahrump didn't need two episodes, and this story sure as hell doesn't need three.

Aside from Snakes On a Soundstage, every storyline was just dragged along from last week, so I don't have much new to say. Of course Jordan is starting to warm towards Danny now that he's backed off even a tiny bit, of course Hallie's awful reality show idea that no one in 2007 would actually want to watch is moving full-steam ahead, and of course Simon is still acting like a complete jackass towards Darius.

And with so much story carryover, I've realized a problem that goes far deeper than the unfunny sketches, or the score-settling writing, or the condescending, factually innacurate vibe: I don't like any of these people. Well, I like Jack sometimes, and Cal is amusing enough in his limited doses, and Matthew Perry has enough personal charm that I can enjoy him sometimes in spite of the negative chemistry levels between Matt and Harriet, but there's no one I care about, no one I feel affection for, nobody who's so compelling that I don't care if he or she makes awful decisions.

Sorkin has said that his backstage world is so much more squeaky-clean than what we know of "SNL" because he likes to write about characters working together to achieve a common goal that the audience can root for. And I don't want to root for these characters.

What did everybody else think?

Great Moments in Super Bowl History

After vanquishing the dreaded Oakland Raiders in the playoffs, the Patriots cemented their status as Southern California's team by beating the St. Louis Football Team in Super Bowl 36. (Because of that, Adam Vinatieri has never had to pay for a beer in Sunset Beach.) Not only were both defeats crushing, but it absolutely took the soul from both the Raiders and St. Louis as neither have been able to get back over the hump after the 2001 season. The Raiders would go on to embarrass themselves in Super Bowl 37 and the St. Louis Football Team has played so bad in recent years, you wonder who Georgia is going to kill as she relocates again.

Heroes & 24: The not-so-big reveal

I'm combining my thoughts on "Heroes" and "24" because both shows did something that's increasingly driving me nuts of late. I'll deal with that up top, then deal with specific spoilers for "Heroes" and then "24" after.

The newspaper business is in a constant state of hand-wringing over how to survive in the age of instant news on the Internet. If a big story happens at 10 a.m. on Monday, for instance, why would anyone wait to read a standard account of it until Tuesday morning? So the focus in a lot of places is shifting more towards analysis and looking forward.

I mention this because the TV business still needs to learn some lessons from the Information Age. We live in a time when every major casting announcement is hyped weeks or months in advance, especially for geek obsessive shows like "Heroes." Is there a fanboy worth his salt who didn't know Mr. Sulu was going to pop up as Hiro's dad? Especially since the NBC PR team arranged for a new series of stories and other promotion about it to run yesterday to make it clear that this would be George Takei's first episode? So why wait nearly the length of the episode to introduce the guy? Why waste one of his episodes on a single, brief scene when we've all been waiting a while to see Takei and Masi Oka work together? And why try to string out the suspense of who the kidnappers' boss was when it absolutely had to be Papa Nakamura?

The "24" audience isn't as inherently nerdy (a good chunk of the fanbase is made up of middle-aged white guys who used to go to Chuck Norris and Charles Bronson movies), but every single promo for this episode featured James Cromwell as Jack's dad, and yet again we had to wait nearly the entire hour for him to show up. His arrival wasn't treated as quite the surprise as Takei's was supposed to be -- after all, Jack had spent the length of two episodes looking for his old man -- and he got more to do than Takei, but given all the hype, it still felt like bad pacing.

Shows like "Heroes" and "24" that live and die on shocking the audience with what happens next need to keep in mind what that audience already knows, and devote the last act or two to the real surprises.

Moving on to specifics...

On "Heroes," I will never complain about getting a chance to watch Christopher Eccleston work, but I shouldn't be rooting for him to throw the show's main character off a roof, should I? It does occur to me that the last time I enjoyed Peter's presence was when they paired him off with someone (in that case, Mohinder) who spent all his time making fun of Peter's pushy whininess, so this could work.

I remain baffled that anyone on that writing staff could possibly think that anyone gives a damn about the Parkman marriage. I remember the first season of "Law & Order: SVU," which began with a mission statement as the "L&O" show where you actually learned about the character's home lives, only the veteran "L&O" writers didn't know how to do that, so you got these pointless scenes of Chris Meloni fixing the kitchen sink. This was worse, because at least Stabler was interesting when he was at work, where Parkman has become this show's biggest drag. (At least Simone has the decency to disappear for a few episodes at a time, though the previews make it look like we'll be forced to endure a lot of her next week.)

The comic book geek in me finds it interesting that the children of people with abilities have completely different powers. Micah's machine-talking has nothing in common with intangibility or super-strength, and Claire's mom is a firestarter. (And, based on the previews, I'm guessing her dad is Nathan.) Beyond that, though, not my favorite episode of the series. Even Sylar's escape and confrontation with HRG felt more inevitable than stunning.

"24," meanwhile, suffered from keeping Jack off-camera for the episode's middle chunk. I understand that the producers have to pay lip service to the real time conceit by having Jack take at least 15 minutes to drive anywhere (though how LA isn't one big parking lot as people panic and try to escape the nuke's fallout is beyond me), and I also understand that they have to give the rest of the cast enough to do that Kiefer doesn't collapse from exhaustion, but this is the least inspiring collection of supporting characters and subplots that they've had in a while. Outside of watching Peter MacNichol casually give Karen Hayes a career beat-down, I didn't care about anything that happened when Jack was off-screen.

And getting back to the promo issue again, this was the first episode all season I watched live on Fox. (The first four were DVD review screeners, and I downloaded last week's on iTunes.) Have the promos this season consistently given away this much of the plot? I know Jack's going to find a way to escape his brother's goons, but they showed exactly how, and then they showed what's going to happen next with this wacky sibling rivalry. Felt as bad as a Robert Zemeckis movie trailer.

What did everybody else think?

What To Make of the Colts arrival?

The Colts arrived late Monday night in Fort Lauderdale, and Peyton Manning was not made available to the already testy media. Further proof that something is seriously wrong with Gomer�s thumb? Maybe this is evidence that the pressure is mounting on the Colts.

Yeah, the pressure to find any reason to believe that the Colts won�t win on Sunday. (Yes, even yours truly and DAWUSS is looking for any sign of hope.) But the truth is that the Colts arrival time is a non-story. The media gripped when Jon Gruden arrived on Tuesday morning prior to Super Bowl XXXVII (as a member of the media frenzy that year, it was astounding how bitter these guys are). But how did that end up turning out for the Buccaneers? Pay no attention to small details such as arrival times and other trivial nonsense when making your case for either the Bears or Colts to win.

Cowgirl Generation

The Cowgirltrification of America keeps rolling along, because apparently America no longer rewards its admiration based on talent. Instead, to become really famous, all you have to do is show up to a game in a bikini top or shirt with a profanity or sell yourself over the Internets. And the race to kind the next Cowgirl is underway.

Maxim went out of its way to find the famed "(Expletive) the Eagles" broad from the New Orleans playoff game. Now she has her own photo shoot and video session on the Maxim website.

Then there is Sarah Spain who went from whoring herself out on eBay for Bears Super Bowl tickets, to becoming the pimp in a recent turn of events.

The two girls in question are lovely, but really, they aren't Cowgirl. Like when Motley Crue became popular and all of these other bands were signed that looked and sounded like them. Now, you might enjoy these new bands, but it is not the same as the original. So you have to ask yourself, does the world need another Cowgirl?

The short answer is, yes. So girls, you have your work cut out for you. The best bet would be to write an expletive on your bare chest and find a way to auction that on eBay.

Battlestar Galactica: NORM!

Spoilers for "Battlestar Galactica" just as soon as I go out and buy a 'Vette and a Members Only jacket...

Bi-polar episode. Loved the Let's Torture Baltar II: Psychedelic Boogaloo portion, completely bored by the endless love quadrangle. In what little I've listened to of the podcast so far, Moore says the quadrangle story was intended as a light comic break from all the usual bleakness, and it wasn't until they watched final cut that everyone realized that it was just as bleak as everything else they do. I'm trying to figure out what the original vision was, but mutual adultery with two decent cuckolds isn't an overtly wacky concept, and they've been playing the same note since "Unfinished Business" that I'm just tired of it. I admire the show's willingness to let two of its main heroes do selfish, despicable things, but this story's just running in circles now. Either have Lee and Kara actually get together for a while, or leave it alone. I would have much rather had the Bonus Scene integrated into the episode, plus whatever else was cut from the A-story, then to go through all this again.

(Plus, oddly, Jamie Bamber's accent completely changed for this one; it was still non-English, but he didn't sound anything like he usually does.)

But the Baltar scenes? Genius. He's been looking more Christ-like ever since he grew that beard, and this episode's imagery played into that (as well as, as Matt pointed out, a little "Macbeth" homage with the three Sixes standing around the cauldron-like resurrection bath). Adama's "In his eyes, he's the victim, not the criminal" describes Gaius to a T. He didn't think he was dooming humanity; he thought he was having a lot of sex with a hot blonde. Of course, from that point on, his mistakes become harder to defend objectively (giving a nuke to a Cylon rape victim being the worst of those), but some argument could be made. Marian doesn't watch the show very often, but as she was sitting through this one she kept asking of Baltar, "So he's the bad guy, right?" And I had to say, "He's not bad; he's just self-interested." And smart, too.

It occurs to me now that one of the big reasons I had an issue with the latter half of season 3.0 was the sidelining of Adam and Roslin, a flaw that came into sharp relief after seeing so much of them both, and Roslin in particular, in this episode. With a different actress, the shift from Laura playing nice with Baltar to Laura as screaming Airlocker-in-Chief would have felt jarring, but Mary McDonnell sold it with that one little head shake after Baltar insisted he didn't collude in the genocide of humanity. She's so amazing, it feels wasteful to have her in only one or two scenes an episode.

This is later than I wanted to post it (the above link to Todd VanDerWerf's review on Matt's site goes into more detailed analysis of Baltar's hallucinations), so I'll jump to some other quick thoughts:

• On the one hand, "Occupation" aired so long ago that I wouldn't have remembered Baltar giving Laura her glasses if the show hadn't bothered with that flashback. On the other hand, it reminded me of one of David Simon's recurring complaints about "The Wire" pilot and how HBO made him put in a flashback at the very end in case the audience was too dumb to recognize the murder victim from earlier in the episode. This is obviously a much longer gap, but there's a part of me that thinks it would have been cooler if Laura's gesture had gone unexplained, a little something for the real obsessives to appreciate.
  
• Where did Lee and Dee get wedding rings, anyway? When Billy proposed to Dualla with his class ring, it was with the implication that there isn't a jewelry store ship as part of the rag-tag fleet. (I assume that's one of the reasons Starbuck and Anders got those marital tattoos; ink's more available than jewelry.)
  
• My recording cut off before the closing credits. Do my eyes deceive me or was that Hey It's That Guy Tom Bower as Joe the bartender?
  
• About the only thing I found interesting in the quadrangle stuff: Lee, the alleged straight-arrow good guy, is the one lying to his spouse, insulting her when she calls him on it, and passive-agressively running back to her because he's afraid of being with Kara (and also to spite her for what she did to him on New Caprica), where Kara the psycho rageaholic is capable of having an honest, even loving discussion with her spouse about what she should do. She doesn't deserve Anders, but at least she's not trying to fool him about what he's in for in the future.
  
• Oh, and I also liked the acknowledgement that Cally is to Tyrol what Dualla is to Lee, and yet I believe the Chief when he says he doesn't think about Sharon anymore. He's more straightforward than Lee.
  
• The bonus scene with Roslin and Caprica was superb -- loved the disdain dripping from Laura at learning Six's nickname -- and I can't think of a single quadrangle scene that deserved to make the regular cut over it. But then Sci-Fi wouldn't have had an excuse to drive people to their website, would they?
  

What did everybody else think?

Itching Questions

Itching Questions about the Super Bowl.

1. What stopped the Cowboys Leon Lett from scoring a touchdown in Super Bowl XXVII?

a.) The determination of Don Beebe.
b.) The ghosts of the Bills previous Super Bowl loses.
c.) A lack of breakaway of speed.
d.) Mustard dripping off the hot dog.
Answer: (a) There was actually a funny SNL skit (hard to believe, huh?) when one of the cast members accused Beebe of trying to keep a brother down.

2. Which of these Super Bowl quarterbacks did not earn a dubious distinction by throwing 4 interceptions in one game.

a.) Craig Morton
b.) Drew Bledsoe
c.) Kerry Colllins
d.) Tony Eason
Answer: (d)Eason earned his dubious distinction by failing to complete a pass, the only Super Bowl starter to do that.

3. Who was the most unlikely one-game wonder in Super Bowl history?
a.) Percy Howard
b.) Timmy Smith
c.) Jack Squirek
d.) The �Wazzzzzzzzzup� Guys.
Answer: Any of the above. But if you said the Wazzzzzzzup Guys, bless you.

4. What was the most intriguing Super Bowl accessory?
a.) Jim McMahon's headband.
b.) Joe Namath's mink coat.
c.) Jimmy Johnson's hair spray
d.) Thurman Thomas�s helmet.
Answer: (a) Speculation on what would be printed on McMahon's headband was more compelling than than the Bears� Super Bowl XX opponents, the New England Patriots.

5. Who ranks as the best Suepr Bowl party coordinator?
a.) Max McGee
b.) Jim McMahon
c.) John Matuszak
d.) Barret Robins
Answer: (a) If you think you are too hungover for work, consider McGee who caught 2 touchdowns and totaled 185 yards in Super Bowl I, despite not sleeping the previous night. Let him be a hallmark for all boozers trying to get through work with a hangover.

6. Who made the most memorable Super Bowl grab?
a.) John Stallworth, Steelers (Super Bowl XIII)
b.) Lynn Swann, Steelers (Super Bowl X)
c.) John Taylor, 49ers (Super Bowl XXIII)
d.) Michael Jackson, halftime show (Super Bowl XXVII)
e.) Justin Timberlake, halftime show (Super Bowl XXXVIII)
Answer: (d) This was the last time that Jackson would be able to perform with thousands of children. In public, at least.

7. What was the best Super Bowl nickname for a losing team?
a.) Killer B�s (Dolphins)
b.) Three Amigos (Broncos)
c.) Purple People Eaters (Vikings)
d.) Bills
Answer: (d)

8. What was the worst green in the history of the Super Bowl?
a.) The Seahawks uniform
b.) The amount of money that the winning team made from Super Bowl I.
c.) The amount of money lost betting the Panthers on the money line.
d.) The contents of Donovan McNabb's stomach.
Answer: (d)

9. Which player holds the all-time Super Bowl scoring record?
a.) Emmitt Smith
b.) Jerry Rice
c.) Franco Harris
d.) Eugene Robinson
Answer: (d)

10. Who did Georgia Frontandrearie thank following his victory in Super Bowl XXXIV?
a.) Kurt Warner
b.) Dick Vermeil
c.) Jesus
d.) The dudes who drowned Carroll Rosenbloom
Answer: (a) Because d would be just too obvious.

Kobe Still Likes It Rough

For a regular season NBA game, Sunday's contest between the Spurs and the Lakers wasn't bad. And that's about the biggest endorsement the NBA will receive from THN.

Great Moments in Super Bowl History

Jason Sehorn captured the hearts and minds of (most) women when he proposed to Angie Harmon on the Tonight Show. Millions tuned in to see him play a fire fighter on Third Watch. But nearly a billion winced when he tried to play a defensive back on another popular show...

CBS's coverage of Super Bowl XXXV.

The Hater Nation will take a look this week at some of the best moments in the history of the Super Bowl. And no, like the moment above, it will not be all anti-Raiders. Alright, it almost certainly will, but it beats a week of crying about the Chargers.

Extras: The trouble with Harry (and his Johnny)

Spoilers for "Extras" just as soon as I can convince Marian that our flatscreen isn't too big for the room...

And here's where season two launches itself into the laugh stratosphere I was expecting when I heard Gervais and Merchant were doing a new show. Everything worked, from little stuff like Darren trying to unload his TV to more obvious comedy like Horny Harry Potter. (While the celebs don't generally have anything to do with how they're written, Daniel Radcliffe came up with saying "Ring don't mean a thing.") I've seen the scene with Radcliffe, Andy, the unwrapped Johnny and Diana Rigg a half dozen times, and it still makes me double over in laughter.

This was also one of the better fake movies they've done, as I can totally imagine Radcliffe getting typecast in bad fantasy movies for a long time after the Potter series ends. And I like that Dame Diana escapes with her image totally unscathed. For a moment, I thought that when he asked about the "Avengers" catsuit, she was going to invite him to her dressing room, but having her maintain her dignity was much funnier.

But the real genius of the episode was the Down syndrome subplot, which Gervais said they came up with in season one but wanted to save until Andy was famous. I skim the covers of Us Weekly and In Touch at the supermarket, have Defamer and Deadspin bookmarked and have helped Marian recuperate from back surgery by regaling her with very-detailed tales of the Cameron Diaz/Justin Timberlake/Jessica Biel Golden Globes kerfuffle, and the way Andy was treated by the press was only slightly exaggerated, if that, from the way he would be in real life. Loved the reporter literally digging through the trash and then acting like he was just stopping by, telephone game exagerration of the incident, and especially Darren baiting the talk show host into playing Guess The Mongoloid.

What's interesting is that Andy should know better about everything, should know by now not to say anything potentially damaging to Maggie the blabbermouth, should know that Darren will never, ever make any situation better. So while he's not as actively creating his own misery as David Brent, he's not an innocent victim, either.

What did everybody else think?

Gilmore Girls: The G.G. problem

Coming very late to "Gilmore Girls," I'd rather steer clear of the episode itself -- though I can never complain too much about an episode that features Gil, or one that has a vintage scene like Lorelai venting to Rory about her writer's block -- and deal with a question that the show has awkwardly sidestepped:

What's up with G.G.?

In all of the awkwardness surrounding Lorelai's impulse buy of a marriage to Christopher, the arrival of a little girl into her home and life has been all but ignored. Back when Lorelai and Luke were together, there was some tension over his desire to have a kid and her feeling that she was done with that part of her life, and now she's got another woman's four-year-old running underfoot. That's a major, major lifestyle change for her, almost as big as Zach and Lane's impending twins -- hell, even if they have a nanny to take care of her, that's still another person inserted into Lorelai's life -- but it's not treated as such. G.G.'s just kinda there (and not played by the best kid actress, to boot).

It's not even that G.G.'s high maintenance, since she's seemed pretty easy-going since Lorelai had her parenting intervention with Chris. But the arrival of any kid, especially one that young and non-self-sufficient, would throw anyone's life majorly out of whack, and it's barely been commented on, let alone mined for potential conflict.

Anybody else bugged by this, or is it just me?

The O.C.: Where's Ned Ryerson when you need him?

Spoilers for "The O.C." just as soon as I figure out what holidays would have been left for Josh to write about in season five (Purim?)...

An attempt to make peace with cancellation. On the one hand, I'm still trying to wrap my head around the idea that there are only four episodes left. In my head I understand the vagaries of ratings and the TV business, but the show is so creatively vibrant right now, which almost never happens in a final season. (Or, if it does, it's with a show like "Seinfeld" or "Cheers" where the stars don't want to keep going.)

On the other hand, I can see some wisdom in letting things wind down. Since the Marissa shiva ended, the season's been long on character and short on plot. There have been some significant events (Summer kicked out of Brown, the arrival of Ryan's father), but overall things happen largely as an excuse to give certain characters more to do, or to generate some phony conflict, like the pointless ups and downs of Ryan and Taylor's relationship.

Taylor's funny and Chatty Ryan is interesting, so a faux-arc can be entertaining on a short-term basis, but I don't know that there's another year's worth of stories to tell about these characters.

In a way, in fact, this episode felt like it could have been the finale. Kirsten's pregnant, Ryan and Taylor are back together, Che has found happiness with Groundhog Girl, and Julie has tentatively agreed to marry The Bullet. Obviously, there's more to come with her and Frank, and with Seth and Summer, but there's nothing that has me on the edge of my seat wondering what will happen next. So in that way, it feels like the right time. Hell, they even brought in Showkiller Allison La Placa to play Taylor's therapist. Will Jason Gedrick be popping up in the finale?

Some other episode specifics: Peter Gallagher hasn't had a lot to do this year, but his reaction to the baby news was beautiful. I'm surprised Che didn't try to turn their night on the rooftop into something amorous; it was amusing to see him try to reconcile his heterosexuality with his belief in the validity of spirit visions. I was also expecting more wacky mistaken identity hijinks with both Summer and Taylor in the groundhog suits, and I can't decide whether I'm happy they didn't go there. And Chatty Ryan feels like a completely different character, but not in a bad way.

What did everybody think of this episode? And have you made your peace yet?

A tale of two Davids, part deux

David Mills interviews David Simon some more.

The Weak Ender

Fear not Bridget Moynahan fans. Many have feared that the young actress is rapidly losing weight to compete with Gisele, who has been romantically linked to her ex, Tom Brady. But Moynahan's publicist put an end to the rumors.

�Bridget is fine. She�s just started a new workout regimen with a couple of her buddies, Lindsey Lohan and Mary Kate Olsen. (Or was it Ashley who was the fattie that had to lose all of that weight). So there is no cause for alarm.�

And let that be a lesson to you ladies out there. If you ever lose your man to a Brazilian supermodel with curves, make sure you spend extra time in the gym to get that broomstick-like body working.

Now it is time to move on to something we like to refer to as the worst sports week of the year. Just enough Super Bowl hype to make you wish it was this week. Not quite enough to make you forget that the NBA All-Star came is approaching. But we were able to overlook the NHL all-star game on Wednesday.

• Looks like Jerry Jones is trying to be a rich man�s version of Al Davis. Jones has obviously taken a page from Davis by hiring an offensive coordinator (Jason Garrett) before a head coach. But where Jones loses points is that Garrett actually has some valuable NFL coaching experience. That�s not the way the Raiders roll. But what kind of offense would Garrett call for seeing that he doesn�t have Alvin Harper to lob the ball to. Hmm, sounds like he should be the offensive coordinator for Eli Messiah.

• Speaking of Lane Kiffin, his name around the USC campus? Coach Lunch Money. And now that is how he will be known forever in these parts.

• Remember that bogus interference call against Ellis Hobbs in the AFC Championship Game? Yeah, the NFL has finally admitted that the refs made a mistake. (This kind of thing wouldn't happen if Ed Hochuli was still alive. (Unfortunately, he was in the car with Terry Bradshaw when he died.)

• Hey guess what, the NFL hates tailgating at the Super Bowl. Michael David Smith makes the point that the Super Bowl is a little different. But what he failed to mention is that the NFL takes up about half of the parking lot for its own tailgate party for the big wigs and staffers. So the NFL does like tailgate parties, it just doesn�t like you to tailgate.

• Hey, Terry Bradshaw and Eddie Guns are still alive. Stupid Internets and their rumor mongering.

AND FINALLY

Congratulations to Angels third baseman Dallas McPherson who had successful back surgery and will likely be out of action for at least six months. Meanwhile, Troy Glaus is taking up juggling because his shoulder feels so great. But the news gets ever better. Darin Erstad signed with the White Sox to be a back up. Erstad has obviously lost a step over the years, but he couldn�t be a valuable back up for the Angels? Especially since the first base job is wide open and Gary Matthews Jr. is sure to flame out.

The Chargers Could Use This Guy

This video comes from the Wade Blogs.

Is Manning Pulling a Heel Turn?

Has winning allowed Peyton Manning to shed his "Aw, shucks," Gomer image? When asked about his thumb injury, Manning was able to get off a shot at his old rival, Bill Belichick.

"It's like I said earlier, I attended the Bill Belichick school (about) discussing injuries,'' Manning said, referring to the Patriots coach who seldom gets specific his team's about injuries. "There's my answer.''

Maybe being at the end of all of those Steve Spurrier zingers finally paid off for Manning. Or maybe winning has allowed Manning to take on a heel persona. When Manning shows up in Miami with a goatee (a sure sign) with Jessica Biel and Paris Hilton on each arm, you know that the transformation will be complete. (Hell, if the picture is to be believed, Manning has already dumped Chesney for Tommy Lee.) And you know what's funny? Some more shots like this at Hoodie and others would be enough to convince us that Manning is going to win the Super Bowl. In fact, look an account-balance wager on the Colts if Manning shows up to media day (Tuesday) with a cutoff sweatshirt.

Saints To Forfeit Playoff Victory

The New Orleans must forfeit its playoff victory after an investigation revealed that Reggie Bush received a "(Expletive) the Eagles" shirt from an agent. Saints coach Sean Payton denied any knowledge of the T-shirt and that there isn�t a lack on institutional control.

Actually, it is hard to get worked up by the current Bush situation. Are we supposed to care about this stuff? He took money from an agent. This wasn't a situation where a coach was funneling money or boosters were lining his pockets. The worst thing that will happen is that he will lose his Heisman Trophy. Oh no, you mean they are going to take away the Heisman curse, meaning he will be better next year? Some punishment.

Respect The Crown

A Michigan man was TASERed recently for failure to remove his Dodgers hat at the Saginaw City Council meeting. Charles Littleton refused to take off his hat that caused a scuffle with police that resulted in Littleton being carried away after being tasered by an officer. Not that he was the first person ever tasered while wearing a Dodgers hat.

"It means more than just a hat," Littleton said. "It's like my crown. It's like asking a king to remove his crown."

Sure thing your royal highness. You are just like that one guy, what was his name? Oh yeah, Jesus.

But listen your holiness, what kind of kingdom allows its subjects purchase a crown for $21.99 at the local Sports Authority? Dude, it�s a baseball hat. Unless the Saginaw City Council meeting was held at Tiger Stadium, you should have left the hat at home.

24: Do sharks have siblings that jump over them?

Belated "24" spoilers coming right up...

Let's begin at the obvious love-it-or-hate-it twist: Evil Bluetooth Man, the mastermind behind all of last season's mayhem, is Jack's brother? Um... uh... really? They're going there? Ooookay...

This obviously wasn't something that was planned last year, any more than I believe that the writers knew President Logan was evil any more than a month before they did that script. For the last few years, they've only been working a few weeks ahead at any given moment, nevermind saving stuff for later seasons. I can't find the link off-hand, but I remember Howard Gordon doing an interview after the spring finale where he was asked what happened to Bluetooth and admitted that they just forgot about him.

Do I think it's silly? Yes. Did I groan when they revealed it? Absolutely. But here's the thing: I had almost the exact same reaction to the Logan reveal, and while I never felt like the show explained or earned the twist, I learned to live with it, because Gregory Itzin was such a good actor and because the writers got so much mileage out of the twist. Paul McCrane is also a terrific actor, and while I think the Evil Brother gimmick is even cheesier than Evil President, I expect McCrane and Kiefer to really sink their teeths into this stuff. The genius of "24," as I've said so often in the past, is that it never stops moving, and the bad ideas can be left behind quickly. We forgave them for the amnesia, and the cougar, and that thing with Chase and Chloe and the baby that I never saw in season three but heard about later, and whether this latest idea works or not, the show is very quickly going to be on to five or ten others. We're only at episode five and already we seem to have abandoned Jack Bauer, Reluctant Torturer. Time to move on to somthing else. It's what makes the show fun, and it's what arguably makes it shark-proof.

Since I'm coming so late to the party, others have already commented on the possible Rocket Romano vs. The Helicopter shout-out, as well as the probability that McCrane and Rena Sofer's son is really Jack's.

I'm disappointed that Assad is being shipped off to Washington, as that will A)take him out of action for at least four episodes, and B)probably eliminate any future Jack/Assad team-ups. I'm intrigued by how the Peter MacNichol character was written far more sympathetically this week; maybe he's not this year's token Disloyal Presidential Subordinate. And I continue to love Bill Buchanan's absolutely deadpan reactions to whatever crazy stuff Jack tells him each week. "I thought you were out." "I'm back in." "Um, okay."

What did everybody else think?

Veronica Mars: Would you like to buy a monkey?

Some brief spoilers for "Veronica Mars" just as soon as I figure out why "Stop Being a Hater and Learn to Love the O.C." didn't include an author's photo...

So good to have this show back, and with an episode that was largely firing on all cylinders. I've lost all interest in the LoVe 'ship, or whatever it's being called at the moment, and feel like they should have let the separation play out over more episodes (even if six weeks have passed in Veronica Time), but beyond that subplot, I was very pleased.

Best Mystery of the Week in quite some time. Even though I suspected the male lab jockey almost from the start (mainly because I recognized him from ABC's short-lived "Night Stalker" remake), there were some good twists and turns, an ethical conundrum for Veronica (the monkey was awfully cute, I'll admit) and a refreshingly downbeat ending (Veronica gives back the cash and another monkey's going to get capped). I like that Veronica isn't subtle when she goes undercover; she's a blunt instrument, where Keith occasionally can be a scalpel. (Even if his own minor celebrity screwed him over with Landry, I thought he made a good approach.) And, most of all, I was glad to have Mac get by far her biggest showcase of the season, to see some bonding amongst all three ladies (the trolling for guys nature of the story made Wallace's absence less obvious), and to see Kristen Bell break out her metal face twice in one hour.

Landry's such an obvious suspect in O'Dell's murder that I'm guessing upfront he didn't do it. So who else is already in the suspect pool? Mrs. O'Dell, Tim the TA, the shady alumnus, maybe the Lilith House women (though probably not)... anyone I'm missing?

What did everybody else think?

Kiffin Has Lost His Mind

No, not for taking the job. The Raiders job has become a great stepping stone for other gigs, like the NFL version of Boise State or something (but without the winning). Mike Shanahan and Jon Gruden have used this gig to advance their careers, so it would behoove any young coach to take this job.

No, where Kiffin lose a little bit of credibility is when he said that he contacted the Raiders ticket office to get tickets in the Black Hole for his wife, and his two young children.

Seriously.

Why stop there? Get the children a couple of "(Expletive) All Raider Haters" jumpers, some spiked shoulder pads and some face paint. This is akin to George Bush declaring that Iraq is safe and sending Laura and the twins to live in Baghdad. Somebody should have an intervention to help save the Kiffin children. (Will you think of the children?) This experiment will end quickly the first time Kiffin messes up and his wife and children are berated and harassed by the idiots in the Black Hole. And if you think that Raiders fans are above taunting children, you are kidding yourself. One bad preseason game and Pharaoh-Raider will have five too many beers and get in the face of Kiffin's wife and curse at the children, screaming, "I'm a better coach than yoursh dad." Instead of Sesame Street, just put in a copy of Scarface for the Kiffin kids, so they will at least know what to expect out there. Wow, what a bad idea.

You can watch the rest of the news conference here. Kiffin looks about as comfortable in front of the camera as Richard Nixon during the Kennedy debates. The whole press conference seemed incredibly scripted (especially the Black Hole part) and the acting was somewhere south of Showgirls.

Leinart Has Standards?

Apparently so. Matt Leinart has been (expletive)ing his way to the middle, being seen with Paris Hilton and Britney Spears. But even Leinart has some standards. The New York Daily News is reporting that Leinart rebuffed the advances of Tara Reid.

Good for Leinart, you don't want to be linked to any chick that has been with Kyle Boller.

Some Self Realization

How do you come to grips with the news that you have a little bit too much in common with Terrell Owens? Honestly, it's not funny, but it is also undeniable. Owens is a jerk, the most talented guy at his job, and thinks most of his co-workers are gay. Oh no, T.O. and THN are indistinguishable. The topper was when Owens compared his boss (Bill Parcells) to his grandmother. Yeah, that was enough to make yours truly spit out that mouthful of recently swallowed pain pills.

But what does all of this mean for Bill Parcells? Nearly 35 percent of voters in an ESPN Sports Nation poll believe that Parcells will coach again. Really? What, is he going to get divorced again to force him back into coaching? Besides, the law of diminishing returns have hit Parcells pretty hard. The Tuna won two Super Bowls with the Giants, lost a Super Bowl with the Patriots, lost the AFC Championship Game with the Jets and failed to win a playoff game with the Cowboys. What does he have left to do, go 1-15?

Not sure that the game has passed Parcells but both he and Joe Gibbs haven't done well in their comebacks. Two Hall of Fame coaches with nothing left to prove. Maybe it's time to move on and let a new generation of part-time college offensive coordinators take over.

Studio 60: Look who's stalking

God bless this series of tubes. I'm still TV-less, but I just got through the latest "Studio 60" episode over on NBC.com. Spoilers coming up just as soon as I pay royalties to the "Veronica Mars" guys for stealing one of their episode titles for my subject line...

I quote my friend Phil: "Boy, when Sorkin says the show's going to lurch into more of a romantic comedy, it really lurches, huh?" If this is a sign of what the new direction is going to be, I don't think I'm in danger of having to write a "Boy, 'Studio 60' has sure gotten better" column anytime soon.

Could Danny possibly be any creepier in his pursuit of Jordan? I know that dogged pursuit in the face of constant rejection is a classic romcom trope, going back to '30s screwball comedies, even back to Shakespeare, but those stories always take place in some elevated plane of reality. This, on the other hand, is a show that tries to trade on taking place in something resembling the real world, and in the real world, Danny's a walking sexual harassment suit. Jordan's already been a tabloid joke for months, and now he's calling around to every celebrity he knows to get them to help him woo his pregnant boss? Is there any way that doesn't wind up on Defamer or Page Six or PerezHilton?

And the thing of it is, the show has Jordan go and make this point, and has Danny play contrite for all of 30 seconds, only to have him insist that he's going to go right on doing it, anyway. If they had chopped off that very last bit, it would have been fine, would have shown that Danny can be arrogant and impetuous and overbearing but is also capable of listening to the woman he's allegedly interested in. That would be a decent jumping-off point for their inevitable coupling. What Sorkin actually did, however, just squicked me out.

Also squicky? Simon acting like Darius has to be his manservant for the next 75 years because he happened to be standing next to Matt when Matt offered him a job.

Just plain boring? Matt and Harriet. No chemistry, nothing interesting about the two of them behaving like five-year-olds, no point except that they're The Couple We've All Been Waiting For or somesuch.

Really frustrating? The FCC subplot, which would actually be really good if Sorkin had bothered to give Jack and Wilson a cause that only a complete imbecile would be on the wrong side of. Have them support the First Amendment by going to bat for some fictionalized version of Howard Stern or Sarah Silverman, and you have a much more complicated, much more interesting, much better storyline.

And continuing with the show's complete disinterest in nuance, we have Jordan's new nemesis from Illiterate Programming. Leaving aside the fact that both Jordan and Sorkin's condemnation of reality TV ignores Sturgeon's Law, why does the new VP have to be such a blatant conniving bitch? Bob Rumson was more sympathetic. And her show idea was just as lame and unlikely to gather a huge audience as "Search and Destroy."

(Oddly enough, the first time I heard of "The 48 Laws of Power" was on "The Contender," where one of the contestants had read it and was using it to manipulate the others.)

But I'll give "Monday" this, and maybe only this: I could see Dylan's chubbby gymnast idea being very funny.

What did everybody else think?

HIMYM: Naked came the Barnatee

The Internet helped me out with "How I Met Your Mother," and I have a few minutes downtime, so quick spoilers just as soon as I ponder whether Marshall spends as much time weekly rewatching that Ford Expedition commercial with Nessie as I do with "Dick in a Box"...

Bryan Cranston and his little feet do their best to prop up the first exclusively Ted-centric A-story in a while, but all it did was to remind me why the show hasn't done one in so long. As straight man for Barney or Marshall or the ladies, or as friendly mocker of Swarley or the New Dart, he's perfectly fine, but as a solo comic character, he's an empty (nude?) canvas.

The nude painting subplot wasn't quite legendary, but I liked Marshall's reaction to the painting in the bar, Marshall squeezing more money out of Barney, and the fact that the gang isn't limiting their merry prankstering to just Barney.

What did everybody else think?

I'm otherwise detained

Due to circumstances beyond my control, I was away from TV last night and may be tonight as well. ("Heroes" was a DVD screener I had watched in advance.) So my thoughts on "Studio 60," "24" and "How I Met Your Mother" will have to wait, at least until tonight, if not beyond that. Sorry, folks. Like I said when I left press tour early, occasionally the real world becomes more important than television.

Also done in advance, like the "Heroes" post: today's column, which is primarily a wrap-up of network scheduling announcements made in the tour's final days. Someone here had asked about the online fate of "Day Break," and there's an answer to that, too.

Have We Been Too Hard on Manning?

Gomer Manning made a great stride in removing his choker label by finally getting over on the Patriots on Sunday. Sure, it was like the third season of the White Shadow version of the Patriots, but hey, it was a win and Manning deserves credit. (Hey, THN is nothing if not fair.)

However, a lot of people, including our man, MJD, over at FanHouse have presented the case that maybe Manning should have never received the choker label at all. Manning has been ridiculed for three playoff losses in his career, against the Jets in 2002 and the Patriots in 2003 and 2004. Here are the numbers in those games:

Against NY Jets in 2002: 14-31, 137 yards, 0 TD, 2 INT, 32.1 passer rating.
Against New England in 2003: 24-34, 237 yards, 1 TD, 4 INT, 35.5 passer rating.
Against New England in 2004: 27-42 238 yards, 0 TD, 1 INT, 69.3 passer rating.

Not so good, eh? Now some of you have pointed out that the last two losses came against the best team of this generation. Maybe, you might reason, that it is not fair to hold those two games against Manning because the Patriots were so good. And you know what?

That�s fair.

You can totally reason that Manning should not have been a called a choker because the Patriots were so good.

But.

Manning also played the Patriots during the regular season during the 2003 and 2004 seasons. What where his numbers like then?

Against New England in 2003: 29-48, 278 yards, 4 TD, I INT, 95.7 passer rating.
Against New England in 2004: 16-29, 256 yards, 2 TD, 1 INT, 93.5 passer rating.

So in other words, Manning passed for 6 TD and 2 INT with a passer rating of around 94 against the dominant team in the NFL during the regular season. But during the playoffs, Manning tossed 5 INT and only 1 TD. Isn't that the very definition of choking? Even if you want to throw out the 2003 regular season game because it was at home (but you shouldn't), Manning had his way with the Patriots defense during the regular season, but somehow couldn�t get it done in the playoffs. So yeah, it seems very fair and accurate to label Manning a choker.

And that enduring image will be entrenched if the Colts lose in the Super Bowl.

Lane Kiffin, Huh?

The Raiders apparently have their man, and it is USC offensive coordinator Lane Kiffin. Look for Kiffin to be a hot coaching property in a couple of years after he cuts his teeth with the Raiders and then uses that experience to win a Super Bowl... for another team like Mike Shanahan and Jon Gruden. Maybe if the Colts can't win the big one this year, Kiffin can replace Dungy in a couple of years to take that team to the Super Bowl. It worked for Tampa Bay.

Heroes: See him, hear him, touch him

"Heroes" spoilers coming up just as soon as I figure out what inspired me to transcribe Mohinder's latest coma-inducing closing monologue...

One of my regrets about having to bail on press tour early was not getting to ask Tim Kring his take on the whole "Save the cheerleader, save the world" semi-resolution. Given the push on the "Are you on the list?" as the new promotional tagline, I still don't know whether Kring feels he paid off the first one or if he's waiting to drop the second shoe.

I care because, as I've said in the past, the chief pleasure I take in "Heroes" is as The Show Where Stuff Happens All the Time. It's not as artful, not as deep or well-executed as a "Galactica" or "Lost" (when "Lost" is good), to name just a couple of current quasi-skiffy shows, but it provides constant instant gratification, and that covers a lot of sins. I know Kring has pledged to keep up that approach, but if he starts doing it in half-measures without realizing it, then here there be problems.

All this is a preamble to discussing "Godsend," in which a whole lot of things are set up for the second "pod" of episodes, payoffs presumably to follow shortly. Hiro steals The Sword, but it isn't really The Sword. (I did get a kick out of the writers finding a cheap yet fair way to make Isaac's Hiro Vs. Dinosaur painting come true.) Peter encounters Claude the Invisible Man, but don't get past the "Who the hell are you?" stage of the MeetCute. Parkman doesn't get any closer to nailing HRG, and then his home scenes made me fall asleep. (I woke up just long enough to laugh at the lameness of him using "pick a number" as his proof.)

Now, they're coming back from a long break, so I don't have a problem with a show that only moves a couple of stories along more than incrementally. I'm just slightly more wary about believing this will wrap up interestingly.

Stuff I liked, and other random thoughts:

• Loved Hiro's reunion with "FLYING MAN!" Nathan, and Nathan reluctantly entertaining the idea of doing some real superheroing.
• Also liked Claire re-enacting her fall from the pilot (and her baiting her father with the "Where'd you find me?," which had a double meaning about both Homecoming night and how he came to adopt her).
• Out of curiosity, I checked to see if Primatechpaper.com was a real website. Of course it was. Geeks, enjoy.
• Ali Larter's really growing on me, particularly her ability to switch between Niki and Jessica without seeming like a ham.
• Nice "12 Monkeys" time loop touch with Peter booking a trip to the Nevada desert to avoid blowing up New York, when we all know that his Nevada trip will make him cross paths with Radioactive Man.

What did everybody else think?

The Post Mortem

Who is the happiest guy in America today? Gomer Manning? Tony Dungy? Adam Vinatieri? Nope, nope, nope. The happiest guy in America is�

Eli Messiah.

Really. Eli is 60 minutes of football away from walking away from the game forever. Sixty minutes away from singing as much karaoke as he would like to. Archie Manning is the biggest soccer mom in the country, living vicariously through his sons. And as soon as Gomer delivers a Super Bowl title to his dad's losing (donkey), Eli is free to go pursue a career on Broadway. Do you actually think that Cooper Manning couldn�t have rehabbed from his injury? Please. Cooper saw an easy way out and took it.

If Peyton wins a Super Bowl, look for Eli to have some sort of career-ending injury next year. You heard it hear first. (And that means that Sam Rubenstein is the hugest Colts fan right now.)

COLT WIN, NO SERIOUSLY

You have to give credit to Manning for staging such as epic comeback. Really. You could complain about the fictitious pass interference call against "the sorriest corner in the league" that led to a touchdown. You could complain about the blatant pass interference that wasn't called when Reche Caldwell was tackled in the end zone, forcing New England to take a field goal. And no, it serves no purpose to talk about the conjured roughing-the-passer penalty (after the Patriots defender was held on the play). Nope, Gomer deserves some credit for leading the Colts back to victory. Honestly, many of you likely thought the Colts were done following that interception run back. So does this change the perception of Manning and Tony Dungy as losers?

No. It was a nice win, but it came against the worst Patriots team of the decade. This game was like beating Muhammad Ali in a boxing match today. There are some bragging rights there, maybe. But nobody is really that impressed. Besides, this great win will be forgotten if he chokes in the Super Bowl.

BAD NEWS FOR BRADY FANS

If Manning wins the Super Bowl, he will vault past Tom Brady as the top quarterback of this generation. You don't think so? Alright, who was the top quarterback of the 1990s? Steve Young? John Elway?

Sure, but who had the most Super Bowl wins? Troy Aikman. But many discount Aikman because of the great Cowboys teams that included Emmitt Smith. The same thing will happen to Brady once Gomer wins a Super Bowl. Don't bother leaving comments that argue this point. You are preaching to the choir. What Aikman had better talent. Than the 49ers? Bah. Aikman won with Barry Switzer proving that he was the best quarterback of the 1990s. Just as Brady is the best quarterback of this generation. But one Super Bowl somehow is better than three, so get ready for it.

Hey, don't shoot the messenger.

CAN REX WIN THE BIG ONE?

The common theme over the next two weeks will be that Rex Grossman can't out-duel Gomer. And maybe that would be true if this was an NFL QB skills competition. But the truth is that Grossman is the perfect QB to win a Super Bowl like Trent Dilfer, Brad Johnson and Ben Roethlisberger. But don't worry, the key will be Thomas Jones and Cedric Benson. The Patriots showed that you could run on the Colts with three average running backs.

• The only consolation will be the upcoming endless backpedaling from the Sports Dork Bill Simpson who shamelessly stole the "Hater Nation" mark for his Friday column. (Female dog.)

• Where the hell is Guns Hochuli? The playoffs have been terrible without him.

• The fact that we have heard the last out of Joe Buck until the World Series is wonderful. Lil' Hater might be the happiest guy in America right now.
  

• The Colts are early seven-point favorites. Does that line seem odd to anybody else? Look for that line to jump to at least nine or 10 points.

• The media doesn't seem to be harping on the Patriots choke job enough. They are too busy congratulating Manning to point out that the Patriots folded like, well, the Colts.

• Gomer seemed to injure this thumb during the AFC Championship Game. Wouldn't it be fitting if Gomer couldn�t go for the Colts in the Super Bowl and Jim Sorgi came off the bench to lead the Colts to victory? What is Tee Martin up to?

• What an amazing run by Reggie Bush. Not so much the moves, but that he didn't try to pitch it off to a teammate.

• It was hard to watch Sean Payton's press conference as he was obviously flooded with emotion.

AND FINALLY

Fans of class coaches area already winners as you probably can�t find a better pair than Tony Dungy and Lovie Smith. But you know what? Who cares how classy a coach is. But that's just (expletive). Are you trying to say that Lovie Smith isn't classy? It's like Clint Eastwood says in that one movie (not Heartbreak Ridge), "Deserves got noting to do with it." Sports isn't about nice guys winning titles, it is about the most talented winning the game.

Having perennial losers continue to lose is something that makes sports great. Having guys like Dan Marino, Karl Malone and Don Mattingly never win championships is one of the greatest things to ever happen to sports. And likewise, having Steve Young and the Boston Red Sox win titles is one of the worst things to ever happen to the world. So here is hoping that Gomer and Dungy never get that title. But it just seems like a forgone conclusion.

For "The Wire" fans...

David Mills interviews David Simon.

Studio 60: Getting personal

Today's column is my account of last week's TCA visit to the "Studio 60" set:

Aaron Sorkin isn't happy with me. But then, he also isn't happy with bloggers, comedy writers, the Los Angeles Times and numerous other people and groups who have written unflattering things about "Studio 60."

It's an uncharacteristically chilly SoCal morning, and several dozen TV critics and reporters have gathered to hear Sorkin explain how "Studio 60" began the season with more hype and promise than any show on television and will be lucky to end it with a renewal for next year.

The show, set backstage at a fake version of "Saturday Night Live," has its devoted viewers and critics, but as many or more (including yours truly) have attacked it for, among other reasons, a smug attitude; the unfunny nature of the sketches on the show within the show; the lack of resemblance to what we know about the real "SNL" and its backstage culture; and Sorkin seemingly using the series to settle old scores with former colleagues and girlfriends.

"We get a lot of negative press on this show," he says. "We got it on 'West Wing,' we got it on 'Sports Night,' I got it on the plays I've done, the movies I've done, and public comments that I've made... It's the cost of doing business."

The cost, however, seems higher than it has in the past.

To read the rest, click here. And in reading, you may note that at one point he directly adresses me by name in response to somebody else's question about the autobiographical nature of the show. I'm the only person he did this to (on several occasions over the hour), and it's not because I was the most famous critic in the room, or the best writer, or his friend. It was because he's been reading my stuff and, as the first line of the story says, he's not happy with it or me and wanted to make that clear. As the visit was wrapping up, I made a point of seeking him out to at least discuss things, and he said I had "made it personal" by writing so much about the real-life parallels in general, and his relationship with Kristin in particular.

Now, I resolved a long time ago to make my criticism be about the work and not the person doing that work, so Sorkin saying I had crossed that line struck as big a nerve with me as my writing had with him. I could make an argument that identifying what feels to me to be score-settling in the show is a criticism of the work, but I feel like I've made that point several times over in just a half-season.

So here's the deal: that column and this blog entry are the last time I'm going to write about "Studio 60" and Kristin Chenoweth together. The show's flaws, to me, go beyond that one angle, and going forward I'd rather focus on the other stuff -- both the bad and, hopefully, the good -- than to keep hammering at this one point. Back tonight or tomorrow morning with thoughts on "Monday."

The Colts Are In The Super Bowl

Uh, we are relying on Rex Grossman to save the world. Good luck, and start partying now.

Battlestar Galactica: Showdown at slap o'clock

"Battlestar Galactica" is back and it's slap-tastic. Spoilers (posted early because I may be computerless for a bit) coming right up...

Ron Moore has said that, with the exception of "33," he's never been completely satisfied with the self-contained episodes, and that the arc episodes -- usually at the beginning, midway point and ends of seasons -- are almost always better than the standalones.

Now, I've liked a lot of standalones besides "33" ("Flight of the Phoenix," "Flesh and Bone" and "Scar," to name just three), but "33" is the only one that can hold a candle to a "Pegasus" or the entire New Caprica storyline, and these last two episodes on the algae planet have been an order of magnitude better than anything we've seen since "Collaborators."

So why is that? Why are the arc shows so much better? I can think of a few obvious reasons:

1. Awesome cliffhangers (Adama shot, Pegasus and Galactica at war, "One year later," etc.);
2. The entire cast is involved in significant ways, whereas many of the standalone shows tend to focus on one or a handful of characters;
3. There are consequences to what's happened before and in what will happen after.

It's that last one that's the big issue, one of the main elements that's elevated "Galactica" over the "Star Trek" spin-offs and virtually all of modern TV skiffy. There is no reset button. Grudges are held. Lost lives and resources aren't magically replaced. What the audience has watched before matters, and it makes what they're watching now better.

Take a scene like Helo shooting Sharon. That's a huge emotional moment under any circumstances, but it resonates more because so much time has been spent on the theft of Hera, on Sharon's re-assimilation into the Colonial fleet, and on the basics of Cylon resurrection. And because the writers and the audience have put the time in on all of that, it becomes obvious what Sharon's asking Helo to do, and why, and what the ramifications of that will be, well before he does it. And then he does it in a way that I, at least, didn't expect, in mid-embrace, and it just slayed me, no pun intended.

Now compare that to, say, "Hero," which involves a character we've never seen before and will probably never see again, an inner conflict for Adama that doesn't track with anything we know of the character and that gets resolved in the course of the hour, relatively minimal stakes... that could've been a "Next Generation" episode involving an old friend of Picard's from the Stargazer with minimal changes.

Overall, I wouldn't put "Rapture" on the level of a "Resurrection Ship" or "Exodus Pt. II," but what made it good was how it either paid off or paid forward so many storylines: Sharon and Helo's stolen baby, D'Anna's messianic obsession with The Final Five, the Lee/Kara/Dee/Anders quadrangle, Caprica Six's disenchantment with her own people and Tyrol's spiritual background and struggles, among others. And even if some of those stories weren't the most riveting along the way (D'Anna's, notably), by the time we got to the end of them, I felt like my patience was mostly rewarded.

Some specific scenes I liked, other than Helo/Sharon:

• The Sharon/Boomer showdown, and Caprica Six making what seems to be a very foolish choice by snapping Boomer's neck and helping Sharon escape. (Sharon always had one respected human ally on her side in Helo, while Caprica's only friend is even more hated than she is.)
  
• Dee going for the premature slap-ulation to keep Starbuck awake -- and to punish her, however mildly, for screwing with her man.
  
• Apollo and Anders doing a live grenade alley-oop, in a moment that could have been even cooler if I had a better understanding of the rules of Pyramid.
• Helo looking much bigger than Madame President as he explained, "If you hadn't lied and stolen our baby in the first place, we wouldn't be here at all."
• The callback to the paintings in Starbuck's apartment, which made me wish I didn't have my DVDs out on loan so I could check and see if the Eye of Jupiter was in the background of that scene or if the writers are just being retroactively clever.
• Placing Baltar in a bodybag to keep his presence a relative secret.
  
• The final scene with D'Anna and Brother Cavil. The rough cut didn't have the FX completed, so all I saw in the final shot was one of each, as opposed to hundreds. Given the CGI team's track record, I'm going to guess the finished product looked cool.

So what did everybody else think? And how would you suggest improving the standalones to avoid another slump like we had in between "Collaborators" and "Eye of Jupiter"?

Extras: Pathetic little fat man, no one's bloody laughing

Spoilers for "Extras" (posted early because I may be computerless for a while) coming up just as soon as I find a vagrant to help me make change...

Of the early episodes of season two, Ricky Gervais said, "We go through the journey of seeing the difference between fame and infamy. Fame without respect is nothing." Boy, howdy. Having sold out completely to the BBC to get "When the Whistle Blows" on the air, Andy is quickly learning that difference, illustrated handily when he meets David Bowie, a man of genuine fame and talent who quickly sizes up Andy for the desperate hack he's become, then uses the talent that made him famous to instantly pen a devastating musical take-down. (In real life, Bowie wrote the music, and it sounds like Gervais and Merchant did the lyrics.)

My favorite part of that scene was Maggie helping Bowie write the song, yet another example of her congenital inability to lie, no matter how much she needs to. (Ditto her crumbling on the autograph scam in the face of Andy's suspicious new neighbor.) I think Darren's the most consistently funny character on the show (loved him explaining the pointlessness of critics), but I just enjoy watching Ashley Jensen work. (And since "Ugly Betty" has unintentionally fallen off my radar, this is the only place I'm seeing her right now.)

The scenes with Andy and the bum were the most "Curb" this show has felt in a while -- probably too much. Andy isn't Larry David, and I couldn't help but feel like asking the bum to make change is the sort of thing Larry would pull (and then act outraged if the bum refused to do it). Much better was his encounter with the scary-obsessive fan who kept repeating "the wig, the catchphrase, the glasses" over and over like it was his mantra. It's both sad and hilarious that Andy had to go see the guy again to pick himself up after the Bowie fiasco.

The Bowie song aside, this was probably my least favorite episode of the six, but it's also a necessary one to establish what's to follow, in terms of Andy's newfound celebrity and the complete worthlessness of same.

What did everybody else think?

Raiders Coaching Search Hits New Low

The Raiders search for a new coach hit an all-time low as James Caan turned down the position. Al Davis became enthralled with Caan after catching his performance as Coach Sam Winters in The Program. An embarrassed Caan had to explain to Davis that it was only a movie role.

"I don't care if it was just a movie, I liked the cut of his jib," Davis said. "I saw enough in that movie to know that Caan could really coach in this league and restore the greatness of the Raiders."

Other candidates for the job now include Hayden Fox and Bud Kilmer. (But if Davis wanted a real young hot shot, he'd go for Lance Harbor... after he graduated.)

For another spin on the Raiders coaching search, check this out.