Sunday, October 17, 2004

Paternity Results in for Raiders

It turns out that Mike Shanahan is indeed the Raiders daddy--the same Mike Shanahan that Al Davis fired years ago. Now Shanahan has a 15-4 record against his former employers. Even Boston Red Sox fans admitted that no team owns another franchise like the Shanahan's Broncos own the Raiders.



You would think that it would get old to watch the Broncos whip the Raiders again. You would think that but you would be wrong.



How bad did it get for the Raiders? CBS sideline reporter Armen Keteyian interviewed revered Raiders fan Violator in the stands during the blowout.



Seriously, aren't we giving a little bit too much love to the Raiders fans for their outfits? Now serious journalists (or as serious as a television sideline reporter can be) are going to them for comments? Do they really expect a parolee in a pirate costume to give serious analysis of a game? What do you ask they guys? How does it feel to dress up like an idiot to support a team that rolls over faster than Jennifer Jason Leigh in Fast Times at Ridgemont High?



It's a bad sign when the fans overshadow the team's performance, but maybe Keteyian had the right idea. Maybe it is better to interview Violator, GladiRaider, PharohRaider, and the other band of idiots than to dwell on the fact that Kerry Collins should start drinking again. Better to catch up with Darth Raider than to ponder on about Warren Sapp, one of the biggest free agent busts this season.



Think about Sapp for a second. The Raiders have needed help on the defensive line since they made Michael Pittman look like a Pro Bowl running back in the Super Bowl. The team signed Sapp and Ted Washington to remedy the situation. So what happened?



Reuben Droughns (a converted fullback) rushed for 103 yards.



In the first half.



The Raiders did hold Droughns to only 73 yards in the second half so fans have something to hang their spiked helmet on. But don't worry Raiders fans, there is nothing else that could make the situation worse.



RICE WANTS OUT OF OAKLAND



Have you ever had a party guest that hung around the house, even though you had the contacts out, changed into sweats, and was ready for bed? That's how the Oakland front office must feel about Jerry Rice right now. While the rest of the world can recognize that the game has finally passed Rice by, the one guy who did not receive the memo is Rice himself.



It has been reported that Rice has asked for a trade to a team he can help out. But what Rice doesn't understand is that another team would need him. And nobody does.



Football is kind of tough when you don't have a Hall of Fame quarterback throwing you the ball, eh Jerry?



WHO IS YOUR DADDY, PART TWO



Boston Red Sox fans love to bemoan the misfortune of their beloved baseball team. But it rings hallow as the Patriots commenced their 20th consecutive victory over the Seattle Seahawks. It's hard to imagine which New England personality is worse, the world-weary baseball fan, or the pompous football fan.



VICK VS. TOMLINSON



One of the most heavily contested debates in the NFL revolves around the trade that sent Michael Vick to Atlanta and LaDainian Tomlinson to the Chargers. Push the advantage to Vick after the Falcons held on for a victory on Sunday. Vick showed that he can put a team on his shoulders and carry it to victory. And don't forget, he's also the only non-Packers quarterback to win a playoff game at Lambeau Field.



Tomlinson seems destined to be the Barry Sanders of the NFL. The Chargers have looked good in three wins this season and did nothing to embarrass themselves against the Falcons. But the truth is San Diego is not good enough to compete for the AFC title this season. Does the team want to win a bunch of games this year and face a decision about Brees and first-round draft pick Phillip Rivers next season?



The smart money would be to deal Brees before Tuesday trading deadline and give Rivers the chance to play this year. It's a dicey situation for the Chargers who are still in the process of negotiating a new stadium deal. Public support is at a premium right now. But for the long-term health of the franchise they need to give Rivers as much playing time as possible.



In other words, don't expect the Chargers to trade Brees. Instead they will keep him and they will have the inevitable quarterback controversy next season. It's the Chargers way.



NEWS AND NOTES FROM AROUND THE NFL





  • Ricky Williams will meet with the NFL this week to discuss his comeback with the league. Williams, who may not be welcome in Miami, has expressed interest in playing for the Raiders this season. That makes sense seeing that the Raiders have already quit this year.

  • The Buffalo Bills win the impossible against the Miami Dolphins. Congratulations Buffalo, you just eliminated yourself from the race for Matt Leinart.

  • Ben Roethlisberger leads Pittsburgh to a victory at Dallas. Can Tommy Maddox get a break here? The best player in XFL history deserves better.

  • Favre and the Packers beat the Lions. Do you ever get the feeling that the Packers do just enough for Mike Sherman to keep his job? It's like the guys in your office that read the internet all day, but manage to push enough papers to get a paycheck. That's the Packers.

  • Jeff Garcia throws four touchdowns in the Browns win over Cincinnati. Is there a more maglined quarterback than Garcia? Terrell Owens called him a homosexual (even though it makes Owens look like a closet case). Browns coach Butch Davis called him skittish. Yet the guy is one of the top quarterbacks in the league every season. And speaking of quarterbacks, you have to admire the Bengals for sticking with Carson Palmer, but how many games could this team have won with Jon Kitna?

  • The Houston Texans defeat the former Houstonians, the Tennessee Titans. Rams fans will still have to wait decades before ever getting that satisfaction.

  • Daunte Culpepper has another big day. Culpepper is going to make a lot of fantasy football owners rich this year. The guy is worth about 45-50 points each week. Years from now guys will be talking about the year that Culpepper had in 2004. Not because they are Vikings fans. But because Culpepper single-handedly won their fantasy league.




AND FINALLY



Former Raiders and USC kicker Cole Ford is wanted in connection with a drive-by shooting of Siegfried and Roy's house. Sure nobody likes the show, Father of the Pride, but this is just ridiculous.



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