Do Not Give Yourself a Nickname

Kobe's idiocy in his insistence that we all call him the 'Black Mamba' is exceeded only by his willingness to wear a 'Black Mamba' T-shirt at the Lakers parade. First you think of Jeremy Piven telling a young John Favreau to not wear the T-shirt of the band he is going to see, sprinkled in with Gunnery Sergeant Tom Highway (Clint Eastwood) telling the marines of Recon to strip off those T-shirts.

So in order to not be "that guy," Kobe should strip off that T-shirt as long as it's not the "same as me."

And yes, I realized that I pulled deep quotes and references from movies many of you have not seen. For that I apologize, but feel that it is apt.

Although, in a town where the majority of celebrities -- save the Red Hot Chili Peppers and Hilary Swank -- refuse to wear Lakers gear to Lakers games, can we really be so surprised by Kobe's self promotion of one of the worst nicknames imaginable? A nickname that many -- including yours truly -- will even acknowledge.

We are not too many summers removed from Kobe parading to all kinds of national radio shows demanding a trade, deriding Andrew Bynum and basically acting like a jagoff. So I will gladly cheer on Kobe as he delivers the Lakers another title, but stuff like the 'Black Mamba' T-shirts are a little much.