This Things I Believe, Part 1

As promised yesterday, it's Crash Davis time (or, possibly, Johnny Calhoun time), so here are just a few things about TV I believe:

• I believe there is no occasion in one's day that can't be greeted with a thematically-appropriate "Simpsons" quote -- and if a quote doesn't immediately come to mind, there's probably a "Seinfeld" quote you can insert in its place.
• I believe "The Wire" is as good as TV crime drama can get (and, yes, I'm the guy who devoted 11 years of his life to kneeling at the altar of "NYPD Blue").
  
• I believe that "The Sopranos" is a classic, but it's no "EZ Streets."
  
• I believe that "The Daily Show" puts Weekend Update to such shame that "SNL" should just dump the segment.
  
• I believe that "Arrested Development" is so silly that the Monty Python guys must secretly be writing it.
  
• I believe the only thing that could salvage this season of "Survivor" is if Gary Hogeboom pulls a Kareem-Abdul Jabar in "Airplane" and starts secretly threatening Danni.
• I believe that the writers of TV romantic comedies don't really understand the "Moonlighting"/Sam-and-Diane problem and spend far too much time dragging their feet before letting characters hook up.
• I believe laughtracks aren't inherently evil, but if I hear audience laughter for more than two jokes I don't think are funny, I'm gone.
• I believe that if I wasn't a TV critic and it wasn't one of the most popular shows on TV (and if my wife didn't like it), I would never bother with "Desperate Housewives" again.

I also believe that I believe lots of other things about TV, but this is a starting point. More in the days and weeks to come.