Men, like nails, lose their usefulness when they lose direction and begin to bend. ~Walter Savage Landor
Advertisements contain the only truths to be relied on in a newspaper. ~Thomas Jefferson, letter to Nathaniel Macon
The eager and often inconsiderate appeals of reformers and revolutionists are indispensable to counterbalance the inertia and fossilism marking so large a part of human institutions. ~Walt Whitman, Democratic Vistas, 1871
When buying a used car, punch the buttons on the radio. If all the stations are rock and roll, there's a good chance the transmission is shot. ~Larry Lujack
Be careless in your dress if you will, but keep a tidy soul. ~Mark Twain
I believe everybody in the world should have guns. Citizens should have bazookas and rocket launchers too. I believe that all citizens should have their weapons of choice. However, I also believe that only I should have the ammunition. Because frankly, I wouldn't trust the rest of the goobers with anything more dangerous than string. ~Scott Adams
The dignity of man lies in his ability to face reality in all its meaninglessness. ~Martin Esslin
I learned three important things in college - to use a library, to memorize quickly and visually, to drop asleep at any time given a horizontal surface and fifteen minutes. ~Agnes DeMille, Dance to the Piper, 1952
Any society that needs disclaimers has too many lawyers. ~Erik Pepke
If we let people see that kind of thing, there would never again be any war. ~Pentagon official explaining why the U.S. military censored graphic footage from the Gulf War
Perhaps in time the so-called Dark Ages will be thought of as including our own. ~Georg Christoph Lichtenberg
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All wars are follies, very expensive and very mischievous ones. In my opinion, there never was a good war or a bad peace. When will mankind be convinced and agree to settle their difficulties by arbitration? ~Benjamin Franklin
Sleep... Oh! how I loathe those little slices of death. ~Author unknown, various wordings commonly attributed to Henry Wadsworth Longfellow, Edgar Allan Poe, and Journey to the Center of the Earth
Love is a canvas furnished by Nature and embroidered by imagination. ~Voltaire
The sport of skiing consists of wearing three thousand dollars' worth of clothes and equipment and driving two hundred miles in the snow in order to stand around at a bar and get drunk. ~P.J. O'Rourke, Modern Manners, 1984
Adage: an old saying that has been popularly accepted as a truth; a saying often in metaphorical form that embodies a common observation. Example: "Nothing ventured, nothing gained."
He that has a house to put's head in has a good head-piece. ~William Shakespeare, King Lear
Humor is just another defense against the universe. ~Mel Brooks
Anybody can win, unless there happens to be a second entry. ~George Ade
The finest thing in the world is knowing how to belong to oneself. ~Michel de Montaigne, Of Solitude
Not only is women's work never done, the definition keeps changing. ~Bill Copeland
All problems become smaller if you don't dodge them but confront them. ~William F. Halsey
Trust only movement. Life happens at the level of events, not of words. Trust movement. ~Alfred Adler
Even if there is nothing to laugh about, laugh on credit. ~Author Unknown
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