Top Moments of the Decade: Runner Up The Tuck Rule

Before we even start � the tuck rule is one of the dumbest rules in NFL history. There is no doubt about that. But, the enforcement of the tuck rule against the Raiders is one of the greatest moments in any decade.

Any time the Raiders are �screwed� is a good thing.

Honestly, the tuck rule is an instant argument ender with any Raiders fan.

The Raiders have won the most games since 1963? Tuck rule.

The Raiders are well represented in the Hall of Fame? Tuck rule.

The Raiders have won three Super Bowls? Tuck rule.

Because no matter what the Raiders have accomplished in their illustrious or dubious history, the tuck rule will always turn a Raiders fan into a ball of white-hot rage like a family-rights politician at a pride rally.

And the fact that Jon Gruden is still chapped about it is � as Orville would say � delicious. Actually, I don�t think that Gruden is all that worked up about it anymore. If anything, I believe that Gruden is so mad at the Raiders, that he secretly relishes that tuck rule because it kept Al Davis from winning another title.

That might be more rooted in fantasy than reality, but I can dream damn it.

Plus the tuck rule has fueled the delusions of Raiders fans who believe that there is a conspiracy against their team. But here is the newsflash, nobody has to conspire against the Raiders. The team does a pretty good job of shooting itself in the foot.

Take the Mike Leach news for instance. Many believe that Leach could be the next coach for the Raiders. The sad thing � for them � is that they could be right. Leach seems like the kind of guy the Raiders would bring in, just when Tom Cable seems to have the organization heading into the right direction. Because Cable was correct when he said that his team could have won with any quarterback other than JaMarcus Russell. The Raiders were surely better than the Chargers in Week 1.

But I digress. The tuck rule still is the symbol of Raiders futility during the decade. And what the meth head Raiders fans fail to realize is that the tuck rule was called correctly. As stated up top, the tuck rule is one of the dumbest rules ever. But called correctly in that instance.

And again, it screwed the Raiders. What is not to like?

Top Moments of the Decade No. 2B: Oakland Fight Club

Nobody has done more to reach out to his team's fanbase than Raiders coach Tom Cable. While most evolved football fans see a coach sucker-punching an assistant coach as a bush-league maneuver that would be better served for the bullies running small-time Big XII programs, Raiders fans relish it.

"Hey, Cable taught that 'Essay' a lesson on respect, (female dogs)."

You know, the typical brain-dead response you have come to expect from Raiders fans.

Now some of you might argue that Cable's inclusion here might be because it happened so late in the decade and the incident is still fresh in our minds. And you would probably be correct. But come on. This is an NFL coach be investigated by the police for assault.

Normally that is just the Raiders fans. Which again shows that Cable is trying to form a bond with the Raiders fans. Could you imagine the Raiders being coached by a felon? Cable probably would not be allowed in the stadium because he could not be within 100 feet of known felons. Which of course is nearly every Raiders fan in attendance.

So this was a bold move. Hopefully Davis recognizes the great lengths that Cable has gone through to make him 'one of them.' Cable is like the white guy in American Me who becomes the head of the Mexican Mafia. Hopefully that will be enough to bring him back next year.

Oh and for the record, Randy Hanson is kind of a female dog, but still.

Top Moments of the Decade No. 2A: Overhead Projector

Everybody has long mused that the Raiders are living in the past.

Al Davis proved it beyond a reasonable doubt when he fired Lane Kiffin in 2008.

The fact that Davis want to use a press conference to eviscerate was pretty old school. Especially in this politically correct world where a customary handjob goes with your walking paper. But using an overhead projector was clearly something out of the 1970s.

At one point, you figured that Davis was going to bust out that old-school projector and reel, like the kind used to teach kids sexual education back in the day. Like the scene from Johnny Dangerously when you learned about "Your Testicles and You."

This is not even about using a power-point presentation. Do you think Davis still uses a rotary phone? Does he carry dimes with him incase he needs to make an emergency phone call?

Even after years of watching Al Davis morph into that incoherent grandparent we once loved, nothing made him look older. Even as he spewed vile threats at Kiffin, none of that mattered because he was using an overhead projector. You almost get the sense that the Raiders are the only team in the NFL who does not use a fax machine to send over images from the coaches box during games.

The Raiders still use carrier pigeons.

The Raiders are never going to be able to recover from that image. Much like the overhead projector, it is a timeless classic.

Oh, and the Raiders also hired Tom Cable that day. Enjoy all of that.

Top Moments of the Decade No. 3: 2007 Fiesta Bowl

If there was ever a more enjoyable football game -- and Super Bowl 37 is the only one that comes close -- ever?

The mid-majors have longed asked to be included into the big time. To be taken seriously. To be given a chance to compete with the big boys. That is what made March Madness one of the best sporting events ever.

And it apparently scares the hell out of the college football powers.

But the six major BCS conferences believed that they were going to be able to put one of those uppity mid-major schools in its place when Oklahoma played Boise State in the 2007 Fiesta Bowl.

But of course, they forgot that Bob Stoopes was still the coach of the Sooners.

We all know how this story goes. Boise State gets big lead. Boise State blows lead. Miracle finish. Ian Johnson proposes to his girl friend. The end.

Top Moments of the Decade No. 4: Patriots win Super Bowl

Professional football was out of California in 1995. And it was bittersweet.

The Raiders moved during the summer, and the celebration I believe must have rivaled those in France and other parts of Europe in 1945. The move should have been met with a ticker-tape parade. A huge cloud was lifted off the shoulders of the Southern California sports fans. The worst fans in the history of the world no longer had a team to cheer for.

At least not here. The Raiders were back where they belonged in the Detroit of California. (Oakland's true nickname, mind you.)

True, the inbred Raiders fans still drove around town in their jacked-up trucks, voicing their social protests via Calvin pissing stickers, we were not forced to have NFL games blacked out so that 40,000 pieces of evidence to the missing link could watch their favorite football team.

But there was some sorrow. The Los Angeles Rams folded, like a real-life version of Major League. And the fans who followed the team were unable to follow that new expansion franchise in St. Louis.

Even if they did try to use the same logo.

Those fans received some unlikely help from our enemies in New England. For years, the Celtics and Lakers had one of the top rivalries in sports. The Red Sox tormented the Angels franchise since 1986.

But it was the New England Patriots who gave some closure to those Southern California football fans with one playoff run.

The Patriots knocked off the Raiders and then the St. Louis FC in one of the biggest upsets in Super Bowl history.

While many of us will never witness our team win a Super Bowl championship in our lifetime, this was damn close.

So for one night -- in the New York, New York piano bar -- we celebrated with our chowder brothers. And it was good.

Oh yes, it was good.

Top Moments of the Decade No. 5: Super Bowl 37

One Sunday afternoon put the entire Raiders mystique to bed -- January 26, 2003. The Raiders had seemingly put the whole 'Tuck Rule' to rest, Al Davis was proven correct for firing ... err... trading Jon Gruden to the Buccaneers. And the 'Greatness of the Raiders' was going to be restored to all of its glory.

Except for one thing.

They needed to play (and win the game).

Center Barrett Robbins apparently knew what was coming, he skipped town and went -- as legend goes -- to Tijuana. Or Pacific Beach. Or a donkey show in Santee. Not that it mattered, the rest of the Raiders offense was missing for most of the day.

He might be dead now. And I do not care enough to look it up.

While the Buccaneers defenders were not in the Raiders' huddle, cameras caught the John Lynch bragging about how the Raiders never bothered to change the language on their calls. Yeah, hard to imagine the Raiders not being prepared.

The Raiders probably would have fared better with Gruden on its sideline.

The Buccaneers put a 48-21 beating on the Raiders, and while that was clearly satisfying. Nothing topped watching the endless drones of Raiders fans filing out of Qualcomm Stadium crestfallen, and not able to even mutter the most mundane of expletives that typically touched their herpes-infest lips.

The myth of the Raiders died that day. The Raiders have not had a winning season, nor reached the playoffs since that time. Even the thugs that formerly brandished their gear found something more manly -- like Sacramento Monarchs gear.

Oh, and they stopped selling beer at halftime.

Partly because they did not want to have a riot. But mostly because Raiders fans kept trying to use food stamps and their return Grayhound tickets to purchase hooch.