Joe Montana: Family Man

It is absolutely disgusting that people are questioning Joe Montana's motives for not showing up at the Super Bowl MVP celebration. Montana is a big family man. Why else would he have been married three times?

Joe Family Guy has had almost as many marriages as Super Bowl rings. A wife for every Super Bowl MVP. It's funny that family was never much of a priority for him when he dumped his high school sweetheart Kim Monses, after three years of marriage in 1977 when he was drafted by the 49ers. But it is a tradition for professional athletes (and entertainers in general) to dump your first wife when you finally make it to the big time.

Following the lead of great NFL players, like Frank Gifford, Montana moved on to a stewardess for wife number two. Cass Castillo was some sort of a looker, but she couldn't make it past the magical three-year mark (which incidentally was Montana's college number at Notre Dame).

Montana had other priorities, other than family, when he decided to move on. Montana met his current wife, Jennifer, while shooting a commercial for Schick razors. Montana was so smitten, he left Cass a "Dear Jane" letter at the 49ers front office to let her know that she was being replaced. Joe and Jennifer were married a year later. Montana received a little heat with this move said, "Maybe God wants Joe Montana to be happy."

The Lord also probably got in his ear about holding out for $100K, too. But who can blame him for asking for that money, those alimony payments must be a female dog. It's like Ted Dibase always said, "Every man has his price."

What would be your outrageous demands to post in the Hater Nation Forums.