Happy now, USA?

Feeling good after blatantly screwing over my Hasselhoff-digging homeboy, Dirk Nowitzki?

Still giggling with glee after seeing the refs give All-American Dwyane Wade every, and I mean every, conceivable call in the NBA finals, to ensure Dirk's Team Teutonic lost?

Think it's funny that I have to hear another f'ing joke about how the Germans started strong, but couldn�t finish the job? And all because the freakin refs couldn't come close to doing their job?

Well, turn-about is fair play, because our German ref Markus Merk just single-handedly ensured the elimination of the US soccer team from the World Cup. Take that, capitalist swine!

Pay-back is an uber-bitch, as we like to say here, in between bites of bratwurst.

Today Merk issued one of the world's worst penalty kick decisions in the history of mankind, gifting Ghana a goal just when momentum was going in the US's favor late in the first half. Hilarious. Yeah, that might have been a foul, just like it might have been a good idea for my country to continue invading Stalingrad in the winter of 1942.

And that was after allowing Ghana to score their first goal moments after crippling the US captain Claudio "Backpass" Reyna on the play. Nope, no foul there, Gringos. Sorry about the ACL, though.

Ha! Merk was almost Knick Bavetta-like in the game. At least now Uruguayan ref Jorge Larrionda (he of the dubious red cards in the US-Italy fiasco) has someone to compare favorably to.

Keep that in mind the next time Wade gets 93 free throw attempts in his next game against Dallas.

In the meantime, I, Lil Dieter, say to my American soccer friends: Get the hell out of my country!