Memo to the Patriots

Please go undefeated and put the 1972 Dolphins to rest for good. Let's leave Don Shula and the rest of the cork popping Dolphins to celebrate their legacy by doing Nutrisystem commercials while the rest of us move on. Shula's desperation by asking for an asterisk on the Patriots season suggests that maybe he should spend more time overcharging people for bland steaks at Shula's Steakhouse. Because honestly, this is getting really embarrassing. Like a boxer who can't stay retired. Time to let that record go gracefully, fellas.

Besides, did members of the Canton Bulldogs act this way? You remember the Bulldogs, right? The team that actually went undefeated for two consecutive seasons in 1922 and 1923.