With Zulu as Kono!

After the jump, quick thoughts on some recent developments in that thar land of TV...

� For reasons passing understanding, CBS has decided to remake "Hawaii Five-O." Yes, the show has one of the coolest theme songs of all time(*), and the phrase "Five-O" has passed into the popular vernacular as slang for cops, but once you get past that, it's just another cop show set in Hawaii, and NBC failed with one of those (starring Fienberg's favorite actor) a few years back. At least "Knight Rider" is recent enough that people on the outer fringes of the 18-34 demo remember it fondly. I don't get this.

(*) Sad (or funny) but true: When one of the local stations had the show in afternoon syndication, me and my best friend Mike used to tune in just for the opening titles so we could create our own alternate voiceover narration, timed to the music, that involved Dann-O, Kono and Chin Ho in a race to see who could get McGarrett his morning cup of coffee. When people ask me how it is that I became a TV critic and I tell them "A misspent youth," it's things like that I'm thinking of.

� Tori Spelling is refusing to appear on the new "90210" because she's being low-balled compared to what Shannen Doherty and Jennie Garth are getting. On the one hand, it seems silly for anyone to think Doherty or Garth are going to be any more of a draw than Tori(*). On the other hand, I have to say it's schadenfreuderrific to see how Tori gets treated by a "90210" where her dad isn't in charge.

(*) I like the previous works of "90210" showrunners Gabe Sachs and Jeff Judah, and I like some of their out-of-the-box casting choices (Tristan Wilds, Jessica Walter), but I'm beginning to feel like the remake/sequel/whatever is going to wind up being neither fish nor fowl: not enough old-school characters and stories for the geezers like me who cared about the original show, plus a 15-year-old title that could very well discourage the "Gossip Girl" demo from wanting to watch.

� NBC is claiming that their decision to run tape-delayed Olympic events on the West coast with a "LIVE" chyron is no different from Fox or ABC tape-delaying live episodes of "American Idol" or "Dancing with the Stars" for California, et al. Given the time differences and the fact that most of the live primetime events are taking place after 10 Eastern (which is 7 Pacific), and that they could stick even more live events into primetime, I think NBC Sports is being both foolish and arrogant(*) in not doing a live feed for the left coast. But if they refuse to do it for some reason, the least they can do is ditch the "LIVE" chyron, you know? Don't say you respect your audience's intelligence and then insult it at the same time.

(*) I know, I know. What else is new?