The Post Mortem

This is why you don�t count out a football team coached by Norv Turner. Because eventually, his teams will do enough to get you excited � only to let you down in the end. Kind of like that Hooters waitress who you thought was into you. (She wasn't.)

Make no mistake, the Chargers are going to play one of their worst games of the season next week and end up losing the AFC West title. There is no other way that this can end.

Think of the improbability of what we are looking at here. The Chargers had to beat the Raiders (easy), but win at Kansas City and Tampa Bay to get to this spot. Plus, they needed the Broncos to at home to the Bills. And somehow that all happened, which could only mean that the Broncos will end up winning next week in San Diego.

The only thing predictable about this season is its unpredictability, so this needs to make sense.

• Ed Hochuli has to be rooting for the Chargers to win this game, which would erase his blunder in Week 2 that created this mess. If the NFL had a sense of humor, they would have Eddie Guns work this Chargers game. But yeah, do you see Mr. Goodell having a sense of humor? He only chuckled during Galaxy Quest once. Which, incidentally, was Alan Rickman's best movie. But come on, how awesome would it be to have Eddie G working that game?
  

• Alright, dare to dream. But if the Chargers win, they will play host to Colts. There is no secret who Gomer is pulling for. He was fortunate to beat the Chargers once this season. There is no way that he is going to do it again.
  

THAT WASN'T RAIN, IT WAS GOD CRYING
If Jerry Jones wasn�t tearing down Texas Stadium, the building would have collapsed upon itself in shame behind the gutless performance of the Cowboys on Saturday night. Al Qaeda couldn't have done a better job disgracing America's team if they had flown a pair of jets in through the hole in the roof.

Even the 1-15 Cowboys in 1989 showed more gumption than this current collection of malcontents and stiffs. There is not a single player on that roster that defines the word, �clutch.� Maybe Jason Witten. Roy E. Williams really gave it a shot, but he played in Detroit -- he was just happy to play in a game that meant something.

The Cowboys will never win a big game with Tony Romo. We are in an era where choking quarterbacks have a pair of miracle Super Bowl wins, but Romo makes the Manning brothers look like Johnny Unitas and Joe Montana.

What do you think all of those Cowboys greats were thinking as they were watching that debacle on Saturday night? What an insult to the lineage. The Cowboys long held the title of �Next Year�s Champions� during the early years of the franchise. But they never looked as soft as these chokers. The best part is that this is the kind of team that Jones has built. And Cowboys fans, don�t think that Bill Cowher or any other disciplinarian is going to take over this squad. That�s not happening.

• Troy Aikman was not present at the Cowboys� going away party. Is sitting next to Joe Buck that exciting that he couldn�t take a week off to be with his former teammates? As it turns out, he was the smart one. Maybe that says volumes of what he thinks about Romo and how he�s killing the Cowboys legacy.

• The Patriots really smacked around the Cardinals. Maybe Kurt Warner and the gang can send them a postcard from the playoffs. New England isn�t going. Can�t wait to see the Sports Dork (female dog) about that. Or at least, wait for the Colonel to tell me what he says, because I won�t condescend to give that a-hole a free click.

• Wow, that Giants fan who wears that license plate around his neck deserves to have a car stalk him like the movie, Christine.

• How did we miss the start of bowl season? Simple, bad work schedule. Same way that Sammy Baugh has fallen through the cracks, but we�ll get something up on that in a bit. But it looks like the Pac-10 exacted some revenge on the Mountain West as Arizona destroyed BYU. Colorado State, however, represented the Mountain West well with a win over Fresno State.

• Hard to believe that the Buccaneers Super Bowl win was six years ago. The last time they even won a playoff game. Now they are looking at choking away a playoff berth after starting 9-3. If the Bucs wanted to fire Jon Gruden, he would be awesome as coach of the Chargers. And don�t buy the hype that he would be a good college coach. He hates his quarterbacks and his playbook is way too complicated for college.

• The Jets were 9-2 in games not played on the West Coast. For all of the (expletive) West Coast teams have received this year, where�s all the scorn for the Jets choking out here?

• The Giants ran a pretty effective game plan during overtime against the Panthers -- don't let Eli throw the ball. Make the running backs run it. Very shrewd. But where was the Carolina pass rush in the second half?

• The whole Mark Teixeira thing hasn't worked out for the Angels, as they have dropped out of the running. Unless, of course, you feel it was worth it to bring in Teixeira to at least beat the Red Sox once in the postseason for a change. Popular opinion says that Manny isn't coming, either. Just don't be so sure. Even with Juan Rivera, there is still a spot in the lineup for Manny. Still, some fans are finding it hard to swallow that the Angels gave up Casey Kotchman for basically nothing now.

• If the Eagles have a dumb quarterback, at least they can be confident that their cheerleaders are smart.

AND FINALLY
What exactly is the deal with the Snuggie? The Snuggie is advertised as a blanket with arms. Oh I see, in other words ... it's a freaking backwards robe! How can you people not see this? Take your ordinary bathrobe and put it on backwards. That's a Snuggie. I dare any of you to show up in a football game wearing a backwards robe and see what happens.