Tuesday, March 3, 2009

Welcome to National Sportsmanship Day!

Or maybe, more aptly, National Sportsmanship Day should be called the anti-Belichick day. This day was formally anti-Raiders day, but the Raiders don�t cheat anymore. Well, hopefully they no longer cheat. Because if they are cheating their way to the worst team in the NFL, then they have troubles.

Bill Belichick may cheat ... but he wins. And that makes him a real American.

Sportsmanship Day, however, is one of the worst ideas imaginable. No wonder America has grown soft � we�re sportsmen now. Was America very sporting during the bombing of Dresden? Was America sporting when it nuked Japan? No � America was great.

Now we have participation trophies and a bunch of kids growing up worrying about their feelings. You know what I got when my youth league basketball team came in last place? Nothing. Not even a trip to Farrell�s Ice Cream Parlor. The coach shook our hands and said � and I quote �See you losers next year.�

Those kids that were offended quit. Those kids pissed off came back better the next season. And that�s the way life should be.

Kids nowadays play games with no score. How the hell do you play a game with no score? Can you imagine walking into a Las Vegas casino and start playing blackjack for no money? Try telling the pit boss that you are just playing for the competition and watch them throw your butt onto Fremont Street.

No, we need an Anti-Sportsmanship Day. A day where groin punches, eye pokes and foreign objects in the wrestling tights will be encouraged. Call it the Ric Flairification of this country. No wonder our American automotive industry is getting killed, we�re afraid to throw sand in the eyes of the foreign automotive makers.

And it stems from stuff like National Sportsmanship Day. Well I love America too much to let Sportsmanship ruin us. The Hater Nation implores all of you patriots to throw an elbow in your pickup game. Maybe go spikes high in your softball game.

In other words, be a proud American.

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