Wednesday, May 24, 2006

Why Not Give Him the Finger Instead?

Broncos quarterbacks have long been a menace to the general public in Denver. If a quarterback�s wife is not stealing some poor kid�s colon, another quarterback is busy head-butting your driveway.

Now the citizens of Denver are in constant fear of a rogue quarterback driving the city streets running over people in his Hummer Honda Element (seriously?) like the NFL�s version of Mad Max. (Or at least Michael Pittman�s wife.)

Jake Plummer has been summonsed for a hit-and-run driving/road rage incident two days after the NFL Draft. Both drivers have offered conflicting reports on the incident.

Plummer claims that he was in a rush to a charity event after he had discovered a cure for pediatric cancer. Plummer then said that he 'totally forgot the whole cure thing' when he was rear-ended by Doug Stone. Plummer then got out of the car, check for damage, fixed a dog�s broken leg, helped an old lady across the street, signed an autograph for Doug and noted that his tire pressure was a little low.

Stone said that Plummer cut him off in traffic and blared the horn at him. Plummer then got out of his sweet ride, kicked Stone�s truck, burned an American flag, punched a girl scout, urinated on a bible and yelled �Jay Cutler sucks,� as he sped away.

Yeah, we totally believe Stone in this case.

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