Fire Marshal Hates Duke

The Cameron Idiots are no longer going to be allowed to stand on the floor space behind press row, as deemed by Durham fire code. Coach Mike Krzygftokheitbgjmoreiski, in the interest of student safety, understood the rule and will comply.

Wait, that is exactly what didn't happen. How dare the fire marshal question Coach Krzysdhjhyerywlkjnhbugvski and his omnipotence? The Great One thinks the students should be allowed to stand wherever they damn well please. And if he had his way, Coach K would let the students stand in the lane. Maybe that way they could be North Carolina.

"Where were [the fire marshals] for the last 50 years?" he told the Durham Herald Sun. "It's like, 'Did we do something wrong? And if that is the case, then how might we be able to solve it without hurting the students?' They're on the team, too. They should be as close to the court as possible."

Doesn�t that fire marshal know that he is talking to The Mighty Duke, damn it? How dare he enforce the law? Coach K is trying to arm his kids for life. Doesn't the fire marshal know that Duke doesn't have much regard for the law? Just ask the lacrosse team. Or J.J. Manning.

Actually, maybe it is about time somebody at Duke starts to enforce the law. They could certainly use it. And a bit of advice for Coach K, you could learn a lot from the fire marshal. Mainly how to give his team the Heimlich maneuver during the Sweet 16.