Tuesday, December 12, 2006

Lil' Hater: Too Much Giants

Note to the NFL: NY Giants owner Wellington Mara is dead. He's been gone a year now. So you can stop sucking his (expletive) already. I thought last year was bad, when it came to sucking up to the Giants: bonus home games, blatant referee homerism, shameful attempts at "Win One for the Gipper" motivation, and sneaking the hopelessly mediocre Harry F'ing Carson into the Hall of Fame.

This year is worse.

I live 2,840 miles away from New York, about as far away as you can get. And that's for a reason -- NY can suck it. But for some reason, the NFL seems to think that I give a rat's ass about the Giants, like they're the local team, or my favorite team, or something.

Hey a-holes: they're not, and as a matter of fact, no one else on the West Coast likes them, either. So stop shoving their crappy games down our throats every f'ing week. Stop ruining our Sundays.

Despite just a basic cable package, with a maximum of five games to watch every week, I've been forced to watch all but two -- two! -- of the Giants' games this season. Eleven out of 13. Unbelievable. (Of course the one game I would've like to seen, when they crapped the bed against Vince Young, wasn't shown).

Even worse, Joe Buck announced most of these games. Christ.

It's not like the Giants are good either. In a best-case scenario they squeak in as a wild card team and get de-pantsed again in the first round, just like last year. They aren't the Super Bowl Shuffle-era Bears or anything, so stop pretending that we should care about Eli, Tiki, Michael Gayhan or any of these other under-performing media whores. We. Don't. Care.

Why can't they find other games to show? There are plenty of other mediocre NFC teams out there. I've seen Atlanta twice, Seattle two or three times, and New Orleans and Chicago a handful of games. They're all just as good, if not much better, but the powers that be seen to think we'd rather see Eli bounce passes to no-one, and for Shockey to prove that he's maybe the 15th best tight-end in the league, each and every Sunday.

It's not even a New York thing. I still haven't seen the Jets play on TV this season, and they have as good a shot as the Giants as making the playoffs. I don't get it.

Hey NFL, if I wanted to see the same lame-ass team week in and week out -- one with a useless QB, an overmatched coach who gets thrown under the bus by his players, and underperforming 'stars' making stupid penalties time and time again, I'd watch the Raiders.

Boy I can't wait to see that scintillating match-up of 7-6 Philly and NY teams next week. I'm sure Joe Buck will be there, too. Jerks.

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