The Post Mortem

Anybody else sick of Carrie Underwood? Holy hell, was there this much fuss about who Jeff Garcia was dating?

Alright, bad example. But you get the point.

There were enough storylines going on during the Eagles dismantling of the Cowboys that you didn�t need to focus on Underwood. Philadelphia was on the verge of winning its third consecutive road NFC East game, putting them in the driver's seat for the division. Bill Parcells is the most overrated coach in NFL history. He�s still living off the glory of those famed Giants teams. Pacells has regressed in each coaching stop, going from Super Bowl champ, to Super Bowl participant, to AFC Championship Game participant, to not winning a playoff game. Nice legacy. Luckily they have screwed up the Pro Football Hall of Fame so much, that he can�t tarnish his legacy.

The most refreshing storyline was Jeff Garcia proving to Terrell Owens who the real man is. It may have taken Garcia a few years, but he has finally gotten over on Owens. And wasn't it always ironic that Garcia dates a Playboy Playmate, while T.O. spends too much time in the gym, wears flamboyant suits and likes to strut around in full body tights?

And people thought Garcia was gay.

The only thing left to say about Owens is that if looks like a malcontent and acts like a malcontent, it�s a malcontent.

And for the record, the notion that Donovan McNabb is one of the most valuable players in the NFL is a fallacy. But, as stated in this space a week ago, Garcia could win the Super Bowl this year (and really, why not?), and McNabb will still be the starter next year.

A RIVERS RUNS THROUGH IT

Whether you believe that Philip Rivers' game-winning touchdown validates him as a viable quarterback or not, one thing is for certain�this guy needs to learn how to celebrate better. Seriously, what was that? Rivers looked like Jim Valvano after North Carolina State won the NCAA title. Hey Philip, at least act like you weren't surprised to throw that touchdown pass.

But what does that all mean? Was that a coming-of-age moment that Chargers fans have been waiting for? Well, look at it this way. If that was the Giants, and Eli Messiah threw a similar type of touchdown pass, would you consider that a great play, or blown coverage?

Trick question. Eli would never have put his team into a position to win a game like that, this late in the season.

Rivers played an awful game, but he was there when it mattered most. Rivers has the highest fourth-quarter passer rating in the league, and it is not accident that the Chargers came back to win the game.

NFC PLAYOFFS

That's quite an impressive list of teams battling for the final playoff spot in the NFC. The Giants, Packers, Panthers, Falcons and St. Louis football team are all in the mix. A 7-9 record could take the thing (and that would be so great). So who should the nation be pulling for?

Giants: The immediate thought is to have the Giants out of the playoffs all together. But, having Eli Messiah mess himself during the playoffs again would be worth it.

Packers: Are you ready for week-long analysis on how Brett Favre gives the Packers a (all together now class), �Puncher�s chance� at the playoffs?

Panthers: (Expletive) the Panthers.

Falcons: Wouldn't it be cool to see Mick Vick give Ed Hochuli the bird? How long do you think it would take Eddie Guns to dismantle Vick?

St. Louis football team: What planet are you living on?

The obvious choice has to be the Giants. Tom Coughlin keeps his job if the Giants make the playoffs. And Art Shell and Coughlin need to be NFL coaches next season. It's a must, or sites like THN will die.

• Advice for Garcia: Don't do any Chunky Campbell spots during the offseason.

• Vince Young might not be bright, and he might not be able to throw a football, but the dude is showing that he can play. You just have to fear about how effective he will be if he loses a step. But if you are a coach living in the short term, who really cares, right? Besides, who would want to play the Titans in the AFC playoffs?

• Congratulations to the New York Jets for clinching a playoff berth. What's that you say, the Jets still need to beat the Raiders to make it to the playoffs? Oh. Again, congratulations to the New York Jets for clinching a playoff berth.

• NBC flexed the Bears and Packers game to Sunday night? Look for NBC to bill this game as one last chance to see John Madden perform on-air fellatio to Favre.

• Congratulations to the Angels, who just had their left fielder Juan Rivera break his leg in winter ball in Venezuela. At least Bill Stoneman went out and got all of those much needed sluggers.

• Reggie Bush, Rookie of the Year. We are not debating this anymore, right?

• It is coming down to the wire for THN Sports Figure of the Year. Be sure to get your vote in. The official poll is on the left hand margin in the Hater Poll.

AND FINALLY

Taco Surf is The Hater Nation home of Monday night football if, for nothing else, they don't have the sound on. Obviously this is no new ground being broken here, but that crew is enough to almost make you long for Joe Buck. Who told Tony Maizeheiser that he was funny, anyway? Who didn't get the Maizeheiser joke the first time? Who thinks it wasn't funny the second time, either?

Why are you still here? Don't you have a sweater to return?