Raiders Not Ready for Prime Time

Now what are all of those Raiders fans going to do with all of the hotel rooms and plane flights they booked for Super Bowl XL in Detroit?

Raiders fans all over the country had likely fired in to Expedia or Travelocity to book flights and rooms after the team drove for a touchdown in the opening drive of the season. You could almost hear the pitter of a keyboard as the inmates scrambled to their computers to type "Raiders Rule" on their message board of choice. Raiders fans likely got so bombed on Budweiser that they missed what happened next--their team getting exposed by a Super Bowl caliber team that illustrated just how far the chasm to a championship really is.

All on prime time television. Saved by the Bell had more drama than this game.

The Raiders definitely looked like a team that had gone 9-23 over the last two seasons. It was typical Raiders football as they were penalized 14 times for 139 yards. Lamont Jordan might have reminded some people of Bo Jackson by donning number 34. Raiders fans were probably waxing poetic about the Harvey Williams as Jordan looked like a pedestrian backup running back by the games conclusion. Where was the offense that was supposed to put up points like an Arena League team? Kerry Collins threw jump balls like a bewildered college quarterback.

And do not forget about the lousy defense, either. The Patriots looked like they could have scored at will. The Tyler Brayton and Grant Irons experiment lasted a quarter. The Patriots look like a team that could win another championship. The Raiders, on the other hand, should start sending scouts to USC practices and games.

The coach also was awful. The Raiders held a lead early in the game (back when Raiders fans were booking their trips), but you knew it was only a matter of time before Norv Turner was out-coached by Bill Belichick. The Patriots made the second half adjustments, Turner turned into a Little League parent whose attitude was reflected in the team.

"I thought we played a competitive game against a championship team," Turner said.

"New England is not a C-average team," Moss said. "They're an A-plus team. For us to hang in there with them ... that's something you can really smile about."

Is that what the greatest of Raiders is all about? Being competitive against the good teams? It is hard to imagine that the Raiders acquired Jordan and Moss so they could avoid blowouts against championship teams. What happened to the Commitment to Excellence? Now the Raiders have a Commitment to being Competitive.

Even that looked shaky at times.

NEW ENGLAND BRACED FOR RAIDERS FANS

Fans arriving at Gillette Stadium on Thursday were greeted by the sight of automatic-rifle toting Massachusetts State Police, a bomb squad and bomb-sniffing dogs, as well as pat-down searches. That is something to be proud of Raiders fans.

QUOTE OF THE DAY

"I've already whupped up on them every time they've seen me, so I say the day they beat me is the day I retire, because I am no longer able to play this game like I should." -- Warren Sapp, 2004

The NFL Season Starts

The Kerry Collins and Randy Moss era opens in New England tonight as the NFL kickoffs its road to Super Bowl XL. Sometimes you really do have to believe that the NFL is out to get the Raiders, going on the road to play the defending Super Bowl champions. But why delay the inevitable? It is not like the Raiders are contenders this year.

Here are some predictions for the upcoming game, thanks to our
June 22 issue. Check out the full column if you are new to the site. Or even if you an old-timer who wants to remember when this site was entertaining.

Kerry Collins clearly won't tuck the ball during a sack against New England during the NFL opener, but the referees will still rule it a fumble. Rioting in Oakland and Los Angeles begins immediately afterwards. A rioting Raiders fan in Los Angeles will add, "What, Kerry Collins fumbled? Oh ... yeah ... uh ... we're rioting because of that bad call, right." ...

The tuck rule will never get old. ...

The Tom Brady "tuck" play will be shown at least ten times during the season opener. It will be mentioned once every seven plays during the broadcast. ...

FINAL OUTCOME

Here is a surprise. The Raiders will shock the world and upset the Patriots on Thursday night. Two reasons here. Norv Turner is one of the best early-season coaches in the history of the NFL. (But do not ask for numbers to back this up.) Second, no team signifies the term September Champions better than the Raiders who have a commitment to excellence in early-season games.

Raiders 41-31.

Hey Look, More Meaningless Picks

Let us join in as one of the 1,503, 396 sites that put up their predictions in the brief hope that the blind nut will find the squirrel.

AFC East
1. New England. Have to prove that they cannot win.
2. Buffalo. Losman cannot be worse than Bledsoe was last season.
3. New York Jets. With a kicker named Nugent, you would figure they would have a strangle hold on the division.
4. Miami. Insert your own Dolphins "Up in Smoke" joke here.

AFC North
1. Baltimore. Losman does not look too bad now, eh?
2. Pittsburgh. Touchdown Tommy saves the day in Pittsburgh.
3. Cincinnati. Yeah, one of these years will be the breakthrough. It will not be this one.
4. Cleveland. Cleveland sucks.

AFC South
1. Houston. Think Cowboys 1992.
2. Indianapolis. Those annual losses to New England hurts mental approach.
3. Jacksonville. Blah.
4. Tennessee. Leinart reunited with Chow in 2006.

AFC West
1. Raiders. Ha, just kidding.
1. Kansas City. It is time.
2. Denver. Why not?
3. San Diego. Sand bagging.
4. Oakland. Too bad Moss and Jordan are not cornerbacks.

Wild Cards: Indianapolis and Buffalo.
AFC Champion: Buffalo

NFC East
1. Dallas Cowboys. It is all fun and games now.
2. Philadelphia. Too long on top. This is not the 1980s.
3. Washington. Should have stuck to NASCAR.
4. New York Giants. Eli Messiah cannot work miracle.

NFC North
1. Green Bay. Somebody has to win this division.
2. Chicago. Orton could have a Roethlisberger-type season if they can run the ball.
3. Minnesota. Moss was bad for team chemistry catching all of those touchdowns.
4. Detroit. Playoff hopes rested on Jeff Garcia.

NFC South
1. Carolina. Hate this pick because everybody loves them.
2. Atlanta. Winning with running and defense.
3. Tampa Bay. Chucky will join Martz and Shanahan in ex-genius club.
4. New Orleans. Early season surge falls under weight of situation.

NFC West
1. Arizona. Time for the Birds to fly. (First said in 1999.)
2. Seattle. Peter Warrick cannot catch, either
3. St. Louis. Martz could not win when his players were in their prime.
4. San Francisco. Gunning to have Alex Smith and Matt Leinart.

Wild Cards: Chicago and Atlanta.
NFC Champions: Carolina.
Super Bowl Champions: Carolina.

Nothing shocking here. But we have been on the Panthers bandwagon since 2003 (read below).

NFL INSIDER PICK

What about the NFL Insider sleeper pick? Each year, one team emerges from the pack of also-rans to make a run in the playoffs. The formula, started by the NFL Insider staff, picks out variables that will contribute to a team making a run at the playoffs. The most recent success was Carolina in 2003, which was well documented in the Post Mortem column on NFL.com. Last year was not a success (Cleveland). But this formula is good one year and bad the next, kind of like Tiki Barber.

What you look for is a team that has starting a new quarterback, new full-time running back, had a losing season the previous year, has never won a Super Bowl, and does not play on Monday Night Football. This year's pick?

Arizona.

MORE USELESS PICKS

If you need a good laugh each week, I will be representing The Hater Nation in The Writer's NFL picks each week at the The Writers. Keep track as we lose our dignity each week.

AND FINALLY

A new Last and Ten list is up on the left, thanks to contributors Mikey Two Beers and Rob in Tampa. Last and Ten reasons why Jerry Rice retired.