Thank You Yankees, Red Sox

It is time for fans to give thanks to the Yankees and Red Sox for once again saving the sport of baseball. And give a little love to the Cleveland Indians, too, who did the honorable thing this weekend by losing three consecutive games to the Chicago White Sox to ensure that the deities of baseball could both make the playoffs. The Indians get it. Unlike that stooge, Buck Showalter, who had the audacity to not have the Yankees best interest in mind when he benched three starters against the Angels on Sunday.

Anaheim went on to win its game on Sunday and secured home-field advantage over the Yankees in one of the biggest injustices in baseball since the Black Sox scandal. At least that is what Alex Rodriguez said. You cannot expect the Yankees to go out and earn home-field advantage on their own�especially since the Yankees had to play their 100th grueling game against the Red Sox this season.

It is a shame that Paul Tagliabue is not the commissioner of Major League Baseball because he would not let the insult of the Rangers tinge the Yankees gutty performance this season. Tags would have insisted that the Angels open the series in New York. You could have even hung a couple of Angels banners in the outfield and called it an Angels home game, if you really want to get nitpicky. Or better yet, they could have at least postponed the games for a week to make sure that both the Yankees and Red Sox were well rested. Or better yet, maybe they should have both teams skip the divisional round as to avoid injuries to either team for their inevitable showdown.

This is just the latest in a long-ling of adversity the over-achievers from the Bronx will have to overcome. The tragic blows the Yankees have been dealt this year are almost too numerous to list in this space. From their $100 million free agent acquisitions not performing well or those devious Devil Rays. Oh yes, those sinister Devil Rays always manage to play their best baseball against the Yankees.

The grit and determination of the Yankees, however, is illustrated by the remarkable comeback of Jason Giambi. The slugger faced a mysterious illness and somehow managed to lose 50 pounds during the offseason. Medical experts are unsure how a guy went from having a physique like a WWF Super Star to being gaunt in an instant. Only through a modern miracle could Giambi have gained all of that weight back�and then some�along with all of all of his power, almost overnight. It truly is a testament to hard work and dedication that a guy could weigh 200 pounds and barely get the ball out of the infield in April, could gain 20 pounds and hit homeruns like a video game in July. It truly is a miracle because there is no magic pill that you can take that will increase your power and workout stamina overnight. It just does not exist.

Or look at a guy like David Ortiz. He is the true definition of a baseball player. He has the bulk and the ability to hit the long ball. The homerun is the only thing that matters in baseball. Ortiz is the reason the Red Sox won the most games in the American League. Well, except for the White Sox, Angels, and Yankees. But that is how important Ortiz is. He is such a great hitter, he does not have the time to spend in the field. And do not make him run the bases, either. Baseball should be like softball where a guy can get a courtesy runner. You do not ask a superstar like Ortiz to run the bases. Defense, base running, moving runners over, doing the little things like that, save it for guys like Chone Figgins or Scott Podsednik. And what did their respective teams, the Angels and White Sox, do this year?

The Angels and White Sox have disparaged the spirit of the game with their pitching, defense, and timely hitting. That is not baseball. Baseball is having your team fall behind by a couple of runs and hoping that your $200 million lineup can slug its way to victory. That is baseball. But the Angels and White Sox will never do that. They will try to manufacture a run and win a close game through solid pitching and a bullpen. Who wants to watch something like that?

For the good of the game, the Angels and White Sox should follow the Indians example and just step aside.

At least for the good of the game.

Boston Massacre

The San Diego Chargers ended the New England Patriot's 21-game with a convincing 41-17 victory. Convincing to everybody it seems except of the national media. Numerous headlines point to the Patriots injuries as the reason for New Englands demise.

Nobody wants to talk about how well the Chargers played.

"Injuries finally caught up with the New England Patriots," read the opening line of Dave Goldberg's Associated Press gamer.

"Patriots coach Bill Belichick has proven to be a master of plotting the proper schemes to make up for injuries to key players.

"The way it looked yesterday, however, the loss of safety Rodney Harrison just may be too big an obstacle to overcome," said Karen Guregian of the Boston Globe.

Yep, the Patriots are the only team in the league dealing with injuries on Monday morning. Injuries only affect the Patriots. It is like the Patriots have become the Yankees of the NFL. Nobody ever beats them, they only beat themselves. It was not the Chargers defense that held New England scoreless in the second half. It was the Patriots not making the plays on offense.

Because of the injuries, of course.

Killer Instinct: The Chargers have shown, in each of the past two weeks, the killer instinct to put away teams when it gets a lead. San Diego would be 4-0 if they could have employed it during the first two weeks of the season.

Schedule stat: The Chargers next three opponents�Pittsburgh, Oakland, Philadelphia�will be coming off its bye week.

Stat of the Day: The Patriots had been undefeated at home for 1,012 days. Renee Zellweger would have to get married nine more times to reach those kind of numbers.

Bad Day for a King: The Patriots loss was so devastating for Sports Illustrated's Peter King, that most of his Monday Morning Quarterback talking about the Lions replay woes, despite being in Foxboro. King was obviously in mourning.

The good news is that the Chargers are number 2 in the Fine Fifteen.

Question of the Day: Where were Tom Brady's five layers of protection?

Gambling Panic of the Week: St. Louis coach Mike Martz was hospitalized during the week for a sinus infection. That sent gamblers into full anxiety mode as what appeared to be a St. Louis loss could have been anybody�s game if Martz was absent. Luckily, Martz was on the sidelines to ensure that his team underachieved outdoors once again.

Advice of the Week: You know things are going bad in St. Louis. When Martz told owner Georgia Frontiere that he had a sinus infection, the St. Louis owner suggested that her coach, "take a swim."

Why we love Martz: St. Louis attempted 62 passes and ran the ball 15 times. That should have St. Louis at 9-7 for years as long as Martz stays out of the ocean.

Looks can be deceiving: Do not be so quick to anoint Eli Messiah as the second coming, much like you would not want to write off his brother, Peyton for is previous two games. It is not like San Diego or St. Louis has much of a defensive secondary.

Jake the Snake: The Broncos are playing good football right now. AFC Championship Game good? Probably not.

Injury watch: When is Jeff Garcia due back for the Lions? Did you ever think there would be a day when your playoff hopes were hinged on Garcia? The best thing you can say about Joey Harrington is that he almost led his team to an upset. And he plays a mean piano.

Injury watch, part 2: Falcons quarterback Mike Vick is hurt again. The Chargers got the best of the deal that sent Vick for LaDainian Tomlinson. End of story.

Jets Football: Decided to spend some time to watch the Brook Bollinger experiment. First play we saw, the guy trips over his own feet. That was enough.

No Defense: Weren't most NFL experts talking up the Chiefs as a Super Bowl team two weeks ago? Looks like the Chiefs started their bye week a half early. We do not blame Dick Vermeil for crying.

Question of the week: How can you have a game south of the border that does not include Ron Mexico?

More Foreign Games: NFL Commissioner Paul Tagliabue called the Cardinals vs. 49ers game played in front of more than 100,000 Raiders fans, a complete success. Tagliabue said that there would be even more games play abroad in the upcoming years because, "American fans are not dumb enough to pay $50 to see two mediocre football teams."

Look for the NFC North to play its entire schedule in Canada.

The Man: Referee Ed Hochuli. Arms like Hulk Hogan and bi-lingual. Awesome combination. Not sure what he was talking about during that first penalty call, but we believe he called for a boycott of grapes.

Streak watch: The 1976 Buccaneers are getting mighty nervous that the Houston Texans might best their mark of futility.

Laugh if you want: Wideout Keenan McCardell is quickly closing in on 800 career receptions. A couple of injury-free season and he could be starring at 1,000 career receptions. Then Raiders fans would spam this site calling for him to be in the Pro Football Hall of Fame.

McCardell was once cut from Bill Belichick�s team in Cleveland.

Quote of the Day:

"Marty-ball is dead. They legislated it out of the game."
--Chargers coach Marty Schottenheimer after his team's 41-17 rout of the New England Patriots. Hail to the Air Schottenheimer era.

Secrets of College Football Exposed!

The Hater Nation has received documentation as to why the University of Southern California has struggled in the first half of its past two games. This document might surprise some and it exposes corruption at the highest level.

The Hater Nation, through its exhaustive research has uncovered the following email. We warn those that they might not look at college football the same.



DATE: September 19, 2005

Subject: USC�s continual snot-kicking of the college football field

From: Brand, Myles (mbrand@ncaa.org)

To: Carroll, Pete (pcarroll@usc.org)

Dear Pete,

It is quite obvious that your football team is head and tails above the rest of the competition. Therefore I am asking you to not score any points in the first-half of football games. It is the only way to ensure competitive balance in the NCAA and to give teams like Texas�who likely would not finish fourth in the Pac-10, a sense that they could compete for the national title. Otherwise teams will stop fielding football teams.

Can you help a brother out?

Myles

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Date: September 20, 2005

Subject: RE: Are you freaking crazy?

From: Carroll, Pete (nationalchampcoach@yahoo.com)

To: The Dictator (mbrand@ncaa.org)

Myles,

It is great to hear from you. But I have to say that you are freaking nuts. Do you remember how we got screwed out of the BCS a couple of years ago? I am not going to do you any favors. Let Texas, LSU, and the other losers get a little better. It is not on me. Maybe you should let ASU or Cal play us in the BCS championship game. At least then it will be close.

Pete

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Date: September 21, 2005

Subject: Do not make me lose my job!

From: Fouts, Dan (theqb@abc.com)

To: The Devil (pcarroll@usc.org)

CC: Brand, Myles (mbrand@ncaa.org); Musburger, Brent (bmusburger@abc.com)

Pete,

Are you trying to get me fired? If you keep blowing teams out, nobody will watch college football. If nobody watches college football, I cannot make any money. The next thing you know, I will be signed up to do �The Water Boy 2.� Do not make do that movie, Pete. Think of my children.

Dan

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Date: September 21, 2005

Subject: Comma Peet, I cannot loss my job either!

From: Brent Musburger

To: Daddy (pcarroll@usc.org)

CC: Honey Pants (fouts@abcsports.com )

Pete,

If you kept beating oppnetnts two bad, I will iventually loss my my job. Then how will I bye more scotch and cheap bears? How? No seriously, do you know where I can keep cheap beers in Corvallis?

The Burger.

P.S. I am not wering pants rite now.


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Date: September 22, 2005

Subject: Brent, we are in Eugene this weekend. (URGENT)

From: Fouts, Dan

To: Lush Partner (bmusburger@abc.com)

Brent,

Go sleep it off and make sure you are taking a taxi to the right town.

Love,
Danny


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Date: September 22, 2005

Subject: Relax guys

From: Carroll, Pete

To: Brand, Myles; Fouts, Dan; Musburger, Brent

Gentlemen,

I see your point. I agree. I will limit my team to field goals in the first half of our upcoming games. If not for the good of college football, at least to keep me interested in the game. Good talking with all of you.

Pete