The Wire, "Corner Boys": It's their thing

Spoilers for "The Wire" episode 8, "Corner Boys," coming up just as soon as I bone up on Baltimore club music...

The biggest challenge of doing these weekly reviews is offering analysis that's not too colored by what I know is coming, and Michael's story has been the toughest example of that. For weeks now, I've been struggling to find ways to discuss Michael's distrust of adults in general and Cutty in particular without giving away the reason. Not that it was some M. Night-level twist -- some people here and elsewhere guessed that he had been molested -- but when you see the fear and hatred burning in Michael's face when Bug's father touches him, everything clicks into place: why he's into boxing, why doesn't want to be alone with adult men, why he's so protective of Bug and Dukie and Randy, etc., etc., etc. And the hell of it is, what's been done to him means that he won't get help from people who are offering it, like Prez, because in Michael's eyes, every man is someone who can hurt him, and he won't let himself be hurt ever again.

The education theme picks up a head of steam with visits to three different classrooms: Prez's math class, Bunny's Corner Boy 101, and Chris and Snoop's Soldier 103b. Every time it seems like Prez has his kids acting like any average middle school class (I had a friend in junior high who absolutely would have taken advantage of the dinks on the chalkboard), he has to witness someone having a nervous breakdown over fractions. Just as Bubbs was told weeks ago why Sherrod couldn't be placed in a grade appropriate to his skill level, Prez is starting to realize how few of his kids are qualified to be studying 8th grade math. The problem is, No Child Left Behind is designed to do exactly that, to focus on stats ahead of actual teaching.

(Here's a question for anyone more knowledgeable of public education than me: why is it considered such a horror for the state to take over the school system? When Prez suggested that maybe it would be a good thing for the kids to fail the test so the state would take over, Ms. Sampson and the others looked like he had just suggested feeding the kids to a pack of dogs.)

Stats are also an issue for Carcetti, who witnesses Baltimore's finest at their lamest, especially the entrapment-esque arrest of the guy on the bike. And yet even as he's meeting with Rawls and Daniels to find a way to move the department away from stat-driven policing, his new pals from the DNC are telling him that one of his top three priorities has to be reducing the crime rate by 10%. That way lies Clarence Royce.

Bunny's classroom continues the deconstruction of the corner lifestyle that the series began with Hamsterdam. Yet even as Namond is trying to claim that the corner lifestyle is no different than Enron or Big Tobacco, he's threatening the life of his new lieutenant, who's so young his voice probably won't drop until the next mid-term elections. (And, yes, we've long since established that Namond's all talk, but the little kid doesn't know that.)

On the policing front, we get to see what happens when the extremely resistable force (Herc) meets the immovable object (Marlo and company). After days of his usual threats and head-busting, Herc winds up giving Marlo the info he wanted and spooking Chris and Snoop into throwing away the dreaded nail gun and other evidence that would be useful if a more competent investigator was on Marlo's tail -- someone like, say, Bunk, whose shredding of the Omar frame was a complete 180 from Herc and Dozerman's bumbling.

There have been complaints that Marlo, Chris and Snoop don't have the personality of Avon and Stringer. I think that's part of the point -- that they've spent their entire lives among the corner culture, and it beat everything else out of them -- but we got a few glimpses of color in this episode, particularly Chris' attempt to school Snoop on the local music scene.

Learning is everywhere. Hell, Rawls even soaked up all of Daniels' lectures about high-level investigations -- if not as something he personally believes in, then as something he knows will be useful in making his move to leapfrog over Burrell. Poor Erv looked even more poleaxed than Royce did when Tommy sprung the dead witness on him in the debate.

Some other random thoughts:

• Omar fans may be aware that Michael K. Williams has a recurring role on ABC's "Six Degrees" as the limo driver's brother, but in the original version of the pilot, the role was played by Cyrus Farmer, aka Bug's dad. Guess the "Six Degrees" people just wanted a "Wire" actor in the part.
• I liked seeing the Homicide detectives' utter disdain for Carcetti, especially Kima getting her small measure of revenge by making him brew a new pot of coffee.
  
• The Irish wake for Col. Forrester was, much like Ray Cole's wake last season, the result of the actor (in this case, Richard DeSantis) passing away in real life.
  
• Boy, Prop Joe and Slim Charles were going out of their way to not offend Marlo when they complained about the disappeared New Yorkers. They're working all the way on the other side of town and they're still scared of the guy.
  
• Prez and Dukie bond over cheat codes. Of course they do.
  
• When Michael goes to pick up Bug from that rec center, he talks to a Miss Ella. That's an homage to one of the most memorable figures from "The Corner," Ella Thompson, who responded to the murder of her 12-year-old daughter by taking over a neighborhood rec center and turning it into a safe haven for the stoop kids. According to Simon, the real Ella died of a massive stroke (while driving a car full of donated computer equipment to a rec center), so as a little tribute to her, he wrote a Miss Ella cameo into the script and cast Denise "NeeCee" Preddy, who was one of the girls at the rec center when he and Ed Burns showed up in the neighborhood in '93.
  

Lines of the week:

• Crutchfield on Omar: "This ain't the motherfucker who came up with 62 ways for the peanut!"
• Bunk on McNulty drinking club soda: "Why don't you suck a dick and get it over with?"
• Snoop's prayer: "Here we lay a couple of New York boys who came too far south for their own fuckin' good."
• Prop Joe using an alias: "This is Sidney Handjerker, with Handjerker, Kevin and Bromberg..."
• Namond to his mother: "Ma! Let me build! Ma!"

So what did everybody else think?

The Weak Ender

The NFL hates Latinos.

It's true. The NFL has fined Chad Johnson $5K for his �Ocho Cinco� stunt as he wore that nameplate during pre-game warm-ups. If you really wanted to fine somebody for its pre-game antics, why wasn't FOX fined for its Joe Buck experiment? If anything pushed the boarders of good taste, it was that move. (The rumor is that Buck will be returning to his hosting duties. America loses.)

You have to give Johnson credit, though. You knew he was going to get fined. Chad knew he was going to get fined. But he did it anyway. And hey, it is just a write off anyway.

NFL DOES LOVE MANNING
People often wonder why there is so much backlash about Peyton Manning. And then you read things like this from NFL.com's Adam Schefter.

Super Bowl winner -- Indianapolis Colts: When Pittsburgh was 7-5 last season, few thought the Steelers finally would nab one for the thumb. This year, despite one of the worst run defenses in the history of football, the Colts will. And in the last snap shot of the 2006 season, Manning finally and fittingly will get to kiss the Vince Lombardi Trophy.

Fittingly? It would seem so if, say, it was not Manning's fault that they have never reached the Super Bowl. Manning has never lacked for an adequate running back or wide receiver during his tenure. Yet the Colts have scored a combined 17 points in two playoff loses to the Patriots, so don't blame the defense, either.

Fittingly? Yeah, maybe for one of his teammates that have been denied the opportunity because of Manning's ineffectiveness during the playoffs.

And the Sport's Dork constant harping on the Manning's big-game failures has taken some of the enjoyment of out said big-game failures. It's like people that use Joe Pesci's "I amuse you like a clown?" act from Goodfellas a little too much. Not that THN should admonish anybody for beating a joke into the ground, but still.

STRANGE PREGAME RITUAL
Manning has an odd pre-game ritual of rubbing his balls. His footballs, sickos. On Saturday night, Manning has his ball boy, Kenny Chesney, rub down his balls before the big game.

And then the Colts ball boy does the same thing to the footballs.

Previously, the visiting team did not get access to the game balls, often times playing with a "slick ball." Manning, along with Tom Brady, spearheaded a campaign that led the NFL to change that rule. Anybody else get the feeling that Brady kind of went along with this gag to make Manning look like a bigger rube?

It's funny. The league will change this rule because Manning complained about it. Yet, Johnson gets fined for wearing a different nameplate during practice. Fitting.

WINSLOW JUNIOR STILL AN IDIOT
Kellen Winslow achieved fame with the San Diego Chargers, but that doesn�t mean that Chargers fans won�t mind Junior being exposed for the female dog that he is. Junior has called himself the best tight end in the game, but he won't even be the best tight end on the field on Sunday when the Chargers play host to the Browns. Antonio Gates is clearly miles ahead of Junior, and as an added bonus, he is not a crack head. He's never ridden his motorcycle into tree; he's never compared himself to a solider. Gates is actually pretty mature.

"I don't care about him saying he's the best in the league," Gates said. "It's cool to be competitive. But when you disrespect guys who have done it over a decade like Tony Gonzalez � I mean, you have to learn to embrace the game and respect the guys who have proved it. I think that's the part of his game he lacks. He lacks respect for guys who have done it before he was even in college, guys like Tony Gonzalez. I don't care if he respects me or not.

"I guess he feels like he has something to prove," Gates said. "You don't have nothing to prove until you prove it to yourself and play a whole year. I can't get caught up with a guy talking about him being the best tight end and it's a heavyweight fight. . . . I don't see it that way. You have to have credibility to say that."

• Terrell Owens has reportedly had trouble staying awake during the Cowboys film study. Yeah, but who didn't during the Drew Bledsoe era?

• Rumors persist that Dolphins coach Nick Saban could be looking to leave the NFL to possibly return to college football and possibly Michigan State. Who the hell does this guy think he is, Larry Brown? Rick Pitino?

• Speaking of Louisville, nice putdown of West Virginia last night. Of course, this leads to people like ESPN's Calvin Cowherd to say that the Big East is overrated and that West Virginia is soft. Cowherd said that "big boy" football is played in the SEC. Funny, isn't this the same Mountaineers squad that beat Georgia in last year's Sugar Bowl? When Georgia was playing in front of a home-crowd at the Georgia Dome? No, Louisville proved last night just how good they are. SEC apologists can spin it anyway that they like, but that is the truth.

• Boise State sure helped itself out with a convincing victory. At some point, NCAA officials are going to finally realize that fans would rather see Boise State, Louisville and Rutgers in bowl games instead of one of the anonymous, average teams from the SEC. Many have said that the Louisville/West Virginia game was devoid of defense, but it was a refreshing change from those 7-3 snoozers in the SEC. Anybody who has watched an SEC game immediately feels like T.O. in film study.

• The NBA now has a zero tolerance rule that allows referees to T-up any player who so much as gives the stink eye to an NBA ref. Too bad they can't take a zero tolerance approach to players who cannot shoot the basketball. Namely Shaq and his alleged free-throw shooting.

AND FINALLY
Angels general manager Bill Stoneman called Adam Kennedy and told him that he was not going to be retained, and that Howie Kendrick will be given the starting job at second base. Or maybe Kendrick will remain at first base and the Angels will sign Alfonso Soriano at second base. Soriano, like Kennedy, played a key role in the Angels World Series championship in 2002. Soriano�s horrible defense allowed the Angels to mimic a Bugs Bunny cartoon during the decisive game four of the ALDS.

The Office: Best meeting we've ever had

Spoilers for "The Office" just as soon as I confiscate some culturally explicit pamphlets...

Think that one fell a little too far on the wrong side of the cringe-to-laugh ratio. I don't know that I've had to employ the horror movie finger shield this much since the British episode where David Brent got sacked. And as bad as I felt as Michael was proposing to his slutty cheerleader, I practically had to pull a Winona Ryder singing "Mary Had a Little Lamb" when Michael leaned in to kiss Pam.

Which isn't to say that I don't believe Michael would do either of those things. His entire personality has been crafted by popular culture, and in a cheesey movie version of his life, the hero absolutely would smooch the pretty receptionist and it would turn out to be true love. (Also, nine dates in four months? I suspected Michael was exaggerating the intensity of the relationship, but that's barely better than belonging to the same book club with a woman you like.) I just don't think there was enough great comedy to compensate for the awkward! moments. Compare this one to "Gay Witch Hunt," also featuring Michael at his most unable to read a room (and also featuring Michael offering his lips to an unwilling recipient), which had me doubled over in laughter at least as often as it had me hiding behind the couch.

There were some nice little moments, especially in the cultural sensitivity briefing at work: Kelly not having the first idea what Diwali is about (and Dwight knowing too much), Pam enduring more Jim-less sexual harassment from Kevin, Toby exercising his authority in a rare moment when most of the staff didn't want him to (did you see the disappointed look on Phyllis' face when he snatched the pamphlet?), etc. Jim and Andy's drunk "Closer to Fine" duet was genius -- especially Andy's sheer joy at finding a fellow bro who likes Indigo Girls. Ryan enduring the scorn of Kelly's parents was good, and I liked the symmetry of Michael and Jim both winding up in the back of women's cars under very different circumstances.

Not a bad episode, particularly in advancing the relationships (Pam/Roy, Jim/Karen, Michael/Carol), but not this season's best. And was I the only one who viewed the Diwali Song not as a scene, but as Steve and Rainn stepping out of character to perform for the cast and crew? Because that was entirely too good to have been written by Michael Scott.

What did everybody else think?