Coke is it

The morning column link: a review of "Rules of Engagement" and a preview of tonight's "HIMYM" (more on that tonight).

Family responsibilities kept me from turning on the Super Bowl until 8:15. And in a classic case of DVR giveth/DVR taketh away, I was able to start watching from the beginning, then horrified to realize that, for reasons unknown, the recording stopped at the end of the third quarter, a fact I didn't discover until "Criminal Minds" had already begun and it was too late to fix. Sigh...

Fortunately, nothing major happened after that point, either game-wise or ad-wise, though I guess I missed K-Fed's pitchman debut. (Either that, or it happened during one of the earlier ad breaks that I skipped through out of a habit I had a hard time breaking.) I'll live. When I've done Ranking The Ads columns the past few years, I've pointed out that the quality of the commercials has been in decline for a while -- at least since the Dot.com bust -- but we're so conditioned to expect another "1984" or Jordan Vs. Bird that we keep watching. (It's like all those people still sticking around for "ER," I suppose.) Far and away my two favorite commercials of the night were Coke's "Grand Theft Auto" spoof and the ad about what happens after you put your quarter in the machine, and I understand both of them have been showing at movie theaters for months.

After those, my fave was probably Dave and Oprah, but there's nothing I'm going to rush to YouTube to watch again. Marian complained about the number of violent ads, and she wasn't the only one, though I don't know that I would tie it to Iraq War anxiety.

What did everybody else think? Were you more wowed by the ads than I was? Is anyone seriously contemplating a beard combover?

The Hater Nation Summit

This weekend! The second annual THN Summit will take place on Super Sunday at the Main Street Station off Fremont Street. NFL Adam, Lil' Hater, and Conrad Bain together for one weekend! You don't want to miss it.

Others expected to be there, Dom DeLuise, Vic Tayback, Henry Silva, Nipsey Russell, Victor Conte Norman Fell, Angie Dickinson, Eva Gardner and Lauren Bacall.

The Weak Ender

The Super Bowl addition.

But first, Cowgirl will be touring the country�s top colleges advocating breast augmentation and showing up to college football games in bikini tops. And God bless her for doing the Lord's work. SI has scheduled her first stop at Wichita State.

Home of the Shockers.

Seriously, does somebody want to put THN out of work? Leave the jokes to us people, although this is the funniest thing ever done by SI (excluding Pete King's unintentional comedy).

And a big thanks to Sam Rubenstein for reading Cowgirl's weekly column so nobody else has to. (Even though he claims it was just accidental.) Sadly, Cowgirl did not leave her Super Bowl pick.

A quick thought before jumping into the Super Bowl nonsense. What do you suppose the WNBA will do to commemorate the loss of it's own, Barbaro?

Maybe a patch with a silhouette of Rebecca Lobo? Too bad Barb's couldn't stud a mare to one day lead the WNBA to higher plateaus. Moving on�

THE CASE FOR THE BEARS

The Super Bowl has trended towards the defense in recent years. Remember those high-flying St. Louis Super Bowl teams? They scorched NFL defenses for an entire regular season, but were pretty ordinary during the playoffs and Super Bowl. (Remember the 1999 NFC Championship Game?) The Bears defense could be a big problem for the Colts who really struggled in the first half of the AFC Championship Game, and against Kansas City and Raven. The Bears defense could keep this game close enough for Cedric Benson/Thomas Jones to make a big run, or maybe Devin Hester makes a big play on special teams help the Bears edge out a close win.

THE CASE FOR THE COLTS

The Colts run defense is no mirage in the postseason, having shut down Larry Johnson, Jamal Lewis and having forced New England to abandon the run all together, even though they were leading by 18 points. The Colts are aggressive on first down forcing teams into second-and-long situations that plays into the hands of defensive ends Dwight Freeney and Robert Mathis. That means that Rex Grossman is going to be forced to make some plays. Isn't this all you can ask for if you are an NFL coach? That's not a shot at Rex, but the Bears need to run to be successful. And on offense, the Colts coaches deserve a lot of credit for finding a way to phase Gomer out of the offense so he can't go out and lose the game for them. Turing Gomer from a quarterback to a "game manager" like Ben Roethlisberger last year as been the best coaching job in NFL history.

Here are some other factors to consider to make an educated decision.

• The Colts really struggled against the Cowboys aggressive defense this year. Remember Dallas handed the Colts their first loss of the season. If the Bears can duplicate the things that the Cowboys did on defense, they really have a chance.

• A black coach has never won a Super Bowl.

• The NFL has tabbed Tony Corrente to bet the referee for the Super Bowl. Corrente's crew called more penalties than any other �242 for 1,590 yards. The crew led the NFL in defensive holding (15). The Bears defense is just screwed if this holds up. Nice job NFL, who are you rooting for in this one?

• God hates the Bears. But ever since the NFL sent a cease-and desist letter to a church in Indianapolis forbidding them to charging for a pot luck during the game, God might be pulling for the Bears. (Although Churches shouldn't be looking to profit off the NFL�s product.

• Tony Dungy is 4-1 following a bye week during his tenure in Indianapolis. Lovie Smith is 1-2. This is significant because back when a Super Bowl blowout was the norm, the two-week break often was credited for this. And it appears that Smith does not know how to handle that additional week off. But at least the Bears probably weren't tempted to party in South Beach.
  

• People make a lot of the Colts choking, but the Bears have folded in the playoffs rather famously, too. The only difference is that many didn�t have a famous quarterback to blame it on.

AND FINALLY

It's time to pick a winner. And really, is there anything as inevitable as Gomer walking off the field as a Super Bowl champion? There is no way around it. The only problem is the negative image it sends when people relying on hard work instead of trying to skate by on their talent win the big game. This is America, damn it. Cowgirl did not become an overnight sensation by working hard. So for everything sacred in this country, Rex Grossman needs to win this.

Just can't see it: Colts 34, Bears 21.