Lasorda�s Lawyer to Madame: Liar, Liar, Crotch-less Pants On Fire

Tommy Lasorda's lawyer has a pretty good defense for his client. He's too cheap. While it is conceivable that Tommy probably does dabble in favors from women other than his wife while watching adult films, he most certainly won�t pay for it.

According to Lasorda's lawyer, Tony Cappazola: "He's very upset. It's a slimy book so full of inaccuracies. For instance, she says she called Tommy back on his cellphone and he didn't even have a cellphone. She claims that she arranged for a nice blonde to come over to his hotel, and everybody knows that he is into Asians. (Alright, that last line might have been made up.)

"She's an over-the-hill, desperate hooker attempting to make a buck," said the lawyer, who scoffed at Gibson's claim that Lasorda paid $1,500 in cash. "You know Lasorda. He wouldn't buy lunch," Cappazola said.

Yeah, that�s the ticket. Lasorda might receive oral sex, but he damn sure isn't going to pay for it. Wow, who else is convinced?

Source: The New York Post.

More Wire-related teasing

David Mills has some hints about the final season of "The Wire" -- including the awesome news that Clark Johnson will be doing his first significant acting work in a while.

Matthews Not Here To Talk About The Past

Seriously, is Mark McGwire consulting Gary Matthews Jr. on how to conduct an interview about steroids and HGH? Here is what Sarge Jr. had to say about the whole situation.

"I just want to tell you guys that I'm not really in a position to answer any specific questions on yesterday's story. I do want to say that I do expect it to resolve itself here in the near future pretty soon. I've got my representative looking for more information on it and to find out stuff. Until we find out more stuff, I just can't comment on it. At the appropriate time I will address the matter."

Notice he didn�t deny using HGH/roids. He might has well have just said, "I'm not here to talk about the past." Or maybe he could have broken out with a, "I don't speak English."

If you are innocent of taking the juice, here is how that interview should have gone.

Hey Gary, are you HGH?

No.

What are your thoughts of being linked to a steroids probe in Pittsburgh?

It's (expletive).

How do you explain your average jumping up by 40 points last season?

One more dying quail each week.
.

Then he should have made like Tommy Lasorda and threatened to sue the person who named names. But Matthews response does not paint a picture of innocence.