What's up for Week 9?

Hey, the NBA season has started. Normally I can avoid the association much in the same way that I avoided donating money to the victims of Hurricane Katrina. But I actually watched five minutes of the Lakers game on Wednesday night. Granted, it was when the dog had kicked over my television tray and I caught a hot bowl of soup the way Mike Brady catches a wedding cake. Yet, the Lakers game was not as irritating as scolding soup in your lap. It is not a crowning achievement of the NBA, but it is a start.

Hey, did the Lakers win on Thursday night? Gary Hogeboom won the individual immunity idol on Survivor and has advanced to the jury round so I missed the Lakers game. I look at Kobe Bryant�s tenure with the Lakers a lot like Survivor. You would have figured after the whole rapping a girl in Colorado thing, he would have been voted off the island, yet he outlasted both Shaq and Phil Jackson. But if you know anything about Survivor, there is always a twist. Much like the popular CBS reality series had a huge twist this season with Stephanie and Bobby John allowed to comeback, the Lakers matched that move with Jackson�s second stint as the club's head coach. Can Kobe survive this season? We will see.

Is This the Year that Colts Finally Breakthrough Against the Patriots?

Let us take a look at teams finally breaking through to beat its nemesis. The Raiders finally beat the Steelers in the 1976 AFC Championship Game. The 49ers finally defeated the Cowboys in the 1994 NFC Championship Game. It is hard to keep knocking down the same team. But then again, the league is filled with numerous teams that could never, as Jim Morrison would say, break on through to the other side. The Houston Oilers of the 1970s are a prime example. The Los Angeles Rams (1970s) and Green Bay Packers (1990s) only reached the Super Bowl through the backdoor.

The only reason to really believe the Colts could win this season is because the team has done a better job of running the football and making Edgerrin James the focal point of the offense. The Colts look like they could finally be on the right track here.

But we have heard that before.

Who is the Sports Dork Picking in the Colts/Patriots Game?

There is something about a Sports Dork column that keeps dragging in a reader. Maybe it is like how Todd Gaines explained his perverse fascination with the "Family Circus" in the movie Go. You know a Sports Dork column (much like the Circus) is going to blow but you are compelled to read it and it ruins the rest of your day along with everything you had already read. The Sports Dork is not the only one. Steve Bisheff is another one that draws you in (must be the hair). So if you check out the Dorks column this week (sorry, there will be no link here), he is picking the Patriots to win. Not like it should be a surprise. I was hopping that he would be so overwhelmingly against the Colts that it would make me pick against the Patriots. Even with all of his "gratifying" of the Patriots, it is still hard to pick against them.

This game is a lot like a regular season 49ers/Cowboys game in 1995. The defending champion 49ers were banged up and heading into Texas Stadium. The sports world figured that the Cowboys would roll. They did not. The 49ers, with Elvis Grbac as their starting quarterback, won convincingly, 38-20.

I am going to side with the Patriots. Do not pick against the champions until they prove you wrong.

Was There Any Unintentional Comedy in the Sports Dork�s Column?

During the 2005 ceremony, the cameras catch Tom Brady hugging Kraft -- eyes watering, cheeks trembling like Tom Cruise in "Top Gun" -- with Brady trying to speak, but unable to find the right words.

Why not go all the way and mention that Bridget Moynihan is a beard and she will have an immaculate conception in the near future, too?

Are Tom Brady and Tom Cruise the same person? Discuss it on the Hater Nation Forums. Click here.