The Mid Week Malaise

So, I got a new job and I stopped blogging.

Then, in the early throes of said job, I realized mostly what I was doing was converting Notepad files to Word, stacking boxes, and trying not to get fired off the bat for sexual harassment.

I decided to start blogging again.

A good idea?

Likely not. Think Tom Glavine meets a game of import, Frank Caliendo meets a new fat guy he can impersonate, or the 2005 Minnesota Vikings meet Tai from Clueless ("Have you ever had sex in water?" "Oh, sure. Sure.").

The Mid Week Malaise, back from hiatus:

Carrie Underwood

With how soulja boy her man is right now, is there any way he's not gonna try to grab another roll in the hay from Jess?

Deanna Favre

See above.

Cal Ripken

With the complete lack of passion Ripken shows for anything Ernie Johnson tries to get him riled up about, does it make you wonder if he even reacted when he caught Costner schtupping his wife?

TBS Announce Teams

Dick Stockton is alive? Chip Caray is on an A-Team? It's enough to make Murdoch overdose on Lesley Visser's supply of ColonBlow.

People that used to play at Auburn

Ronnie Brown is on the worst team in the league. Cadillac might never walk again. The last time the Redskins played, Jason Campbell and company blew a 14 point lead to a disgustingly bad team. Perhaps worst of all, you know Tebow just hate-f*cked the life out of some visiting coed last Saturday night instead of dabbling with the local folk.

Bob Stoops

I'm a big believer in karma, which is defined according to Urban Dictionary as: "Coach who needlessly runs up score on hapless opponents like AC Slater disemboweling a retard shall suffer season-crushing defeat at the hands of nepotism-centric no-offense from the same conference." I love that site, man.

The NHL

This league is more cursed than my relationship history, sans the erectile problems. It comes back officially on the oddest college football Saturday in five years. Then, it's two-part "Opening Night" coincides with MLB playoffs featuring three upstart teams and the final chapter(s) in the A-Rod Saga, not to mention USC vs. Kentucky. Just put Spurrier and Lindy Ruff in a cage. That'll pack 'em in.

Marc Bulger

I know a guy who once (accidentally) had his manhood questioned in an e-mail chain sent by 1 girl to about 300 others. I still think it's better than being replaced at your job by Gus Frerotte.

Zeke

What's the socio-cultural comparison for "very innocent?" "Very pregnant?"

Angels

After the absolute heart-rip Big Papi put on them in '04, do you think R. Monkey can walk into the Fens without instantly bathing himself in feces out of an odd combination of fear and the need for comfort?