The Weak Ender

Shawne Merriman and Kendra from the Girls Next Door (one of Hef's girls) have been photographed together, so that can only mean one thing -- they are doing it. Yep, it's just that easy, be photographed with somebody and the next thing you know, you are sleeping with them.

Which will explain why you see me running behind Angie Harmon to take a quick photo. But with my luck, the picture would just be me and Jason Sehorn. Again.

But God bless the internets for spreading rumors like this. Not going to try to discredit this rumor because, honestly, who really cares, right?

But if Merriman was smart, he'd go for Bridget, anyway.

ANOTHER BANNER WEEK FOR THE NFL
Only one game on Sunday will feature two teams with a winning record -- Buccaneers (4-2) at Detroit (3-2). And is there anybody looking forward to this one? The Buccaneers are down to Michael Bennett and Zack Crockett at running back. And they are one of the favorites in the NFC. Jeff Garcia has played well, but look for more of those 13-10 snooze fests.

The Lions can't play defense. And the offense -- which is a Mike Martz trait -- turtles under any sort of pressure. The Lions struggled against the Redskins, and will likely fold against the Buccaneers defense, too. But if you have Garcia in your fantasy league be sure to start him.

And this, ladies and gentlemen is your marquee match up of Weak 7.

THE REAL MVP
Tom Brady, Peyton Manning, and Tom Brady (again) will be the favorites to be the NFL MVP. Brett Favre might even get a few nostalgic votes. But the real MVP of the 2007 season is Plaxico Burress. The guy has played on one leg and he has carried his team from a rudderless 0-2 team, to one of the top teams in the NFC.

Though, being one of the top teams in the NFC is like being one of the hottest chicks in Boston.

Anytime Eli Messiah is in trouble, he just closes his eyes and heaves it high for Burress -- who always seems to catch it. Just as the dudes in our fantasy league. (Not that one, Bernie.) You can talk about Brady and the rest of the guys, and hey, they are valuable too. But nobody more than Burress.

Put it this way, if it was for Burress, Eli would be Tim Hasselbeck.

THE POLLS ARE MEANINGLESS
Some wise (and handsome) sage indicated last week that nobody should get worked up over the polls because there is a lot of football to be played. But one thing we do know -- South Florida will not be given the same benefit of the doubt that LSU was. South Florida played a tough game against a pretty good Rutgers team, and nearly came out of there with the victory. But being the hunted is far different from being a team looking to spring an upset. Not that it will matter as South Florida will be ushered out of the top ten.

There was an amusing anecdote earlier in the game, when one Harris pollster admitted that he would vote LSU above South Florida because the Tigers have a greater college football history. This is why you shouldn't get upset about the polls. But thanks for playing South Florida, it was a great ride.

The team this is the best news for? Oklahoma. The Sooners will likely waltz through the rest of the mediocre Big XII, and end up at the top spot. Louisiana State will find a way to lose another game. Ohio State will lose to Michigan. Boston College? Forget about it. This means that Oklahoma will once again be in the BCS title game because it timed its loss perfectly.

South Carolina is another one of those teams that is on everybody's radar, but they are bound to lose a game, too. If you are looking for an outside darkhorse, take a look at Oregon.

• The Chiefs are the only team in the AFC West to have a winning all-time against the Raiders. And if the Chiefs can beat the Raiders (given), they will be in first place in the AFC West. Seriously, is there any division worse than the AFC West? Oh yeah, the NFC West. Not only are we on the verge of a division winner being 7-9 (and that would be awesome), but we have two divisions that could have 7-9 winners. Hell, the St. Louis Football Team is 0-6 and still in the NFC West race.

• If the Cowboys can't take care of business at home against the Vikings, you might as well write off the season. The Boys will end up killing the Vikings by 30. The Cowboys weekness is pass defense -- as they have been decent against the run. Dallas will get back on track this week.

• If there was any justice in the world, Rex Grossman would be able to play this week against his long, lost brother Donovan McNabb. Some emails have raised the point that maybe THN is a little too hard on McNabb, but look at the similarities. Both quarterbacks have ridden great defenses to prominence, and both have puked (literaly or figuratively) in the Super Bowl. They are practically twins.

• How excited is Steelers running back Willie Parker right now? The guy had two weeks to watch the Broncos running defense. He could go for 200 this weekend. But at some point, the Broncos have to get what Jim Bates is saying, right?

• Be sure to check with Bim Bim the Bastard for his weekly picks. The dude is typically spot on, but have to disagree with the Cowboys wager.

AND FINALLY
USC has lost to Stanford, and struggled against Arizona. But remember, USC played a lot of close games against Pac-10 teams last year before killing Michigan. The Trojans should be Notre Dame by 20 this weekend. If not, then this team is in serious trouble. Although there was a Notre Dame team in the 1950s or 60s that won only two games one season -- against UCLA and USC.



Thanks to Bucky for the link to the video.