Showing posts with label Lil' Hater. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Lil' Hater. Show all posts

Tuesday, October 9, 2007

Lil' Hater: Desperate Times

A broken collarbone will keep Matt Leinart from being able to put a condom on properly, so expect to see him impregnate a lot more wannabe WNBA wildebeests and other C-list actresses. If you're on the USC girls rugby team, watch out is all I'm saying.

Of maybe Brittney Spears will seek out Leinart so she can have a baby's daddy who doesn't want to be around the kids.

This injury will also keep Matt from throwing a good deep ball ... oh, wait, he couldn't do that before. I saw that firsthand this summer. Hey, Daddy Leinart, instead of spending your offseason directing your misplaced anger at plastic bobbleheads, maybe you could've spent your time taking Matt to a gym after his offseason arm surgery. That could have helped prevent this year's flame-out. Jerk.

Hey, at least he gets to use the injury as an excuse for losing his job to the Warner Machine, which would've come in a week or two anyways. You win the Al Czervik Award for most well-timed injury.

Memo to Chuck Price: Yeah, its probably safe to RSVP for that Feb. 2 party. Your client works for the Cardinals.

Monday, September 17, 2007

Lil' Hater: Pats cheat again

Bill Belichick used government-designed, top-secret technology to capture the brainwaves of Norv Turner during the game last night. So he could literally hear what Norv was thinking before calling each play.



It's true! Here�s a clip from during the 2nd Quarter:



That was the biggest coaching mismatch in the NFL since Gruden fleeced the Raiders in the Superbowl.

Monday, April 2, 2007

Why does every jerk out there keep babbling, saying that this is the best day or the year? Everyone has it wrong: Today is, by far, the WORST sports day of the year. Joe Buck begins announcing games again, 10 million lame Yankee-Red Rox stories, the start of the dreaded Jim Nantz NCAA hoops-Augusta announcing craptacular, One Shining Moment, and pointless WNBA scores on the ESPN ticker just around the corner. Christ. At least hockey is still on strike.

You know it is a bad time for sports when the best thing you can look
forward to is the start of a new MLS season.