The Post Mortem: Congrats to the Seahawks

There was a small part of me rooting for St. Louis FC to win the NFC West. If for nothing else, to quiet all of the hand-wringing media so concerned about a team with a losing record winning its division. Which, of course, will change the entire playoff landscape for years to come.

Get over it, Ds.

Funny, when it's the Seahawks playing host to the Saints in the playoffs, it is an outrage. Yet, nobody seems to mind that the Jets had a better record than the Colts, but Mark Sanchez and company are heading to Indianapolis next week.

That is about right.

Listen, you cannot change the format of the playoffs because one wacky 7-9 team won its division. If you want to do that, eliminate the divisions and just have conferences. But if you do that, my might as well eliminate conferences and just play a 31-game round-robin tournament.

Or maybe you can have the media vote to see who the best two teams are and put them in the Super Bowl.

It's one year, people. Get over it.

And honestly, I hope the Seahawks go over the Saints. The Seahawks in the NFC Championship Game would be cool. No, hosting the championship game. That would be awesome.

DO YOU think that Giants fans are going to hysterical that their team did not make the playoffs after finishing higher than the Seahawks? Probably not. The Giants fans seem to realize that the Giants screwed the Giants.

If New York could have held on to a 21-point lead in the fourth quarter against Philadelphia, this is an entirely different playoffs.

But real quick, suck it Eli.

THE COLTS are suddenly the hottest team in the NFL. But how come nobody points out that the Colts play in the weakest division outside of the NFC West? Yes, the AFC South is worse than the AFC West.

Yet the media seems to believe that Gomer has put the Colts on his back and they are riding to the playoffs.

That is not 100 percent accurate.

Gomer has benefited from playing against one of the weakest division schedules and his team soon will be exposed in the playoffs. But please, let the Colts beat the Jets so the Gomer-lover can be at a fever pitch as the team heads into Pittsburgh in two weeks.

And then we can all laugh as the Colts and Gomer crumble outside in the cold Pittsburgh snow.

HAD A hard time rooting for Texas Christian. On one hand, you wanted to pull for the Horned Frogs to win for all of the other non-AQ schools. But at the same time, you really wish that TCU had stayed in the Mountain West to help that conference earn an automatic bid.

The Mountain West would have had a great case coming off the heels of TCU's win, and Utah's demolishing of Alabama a few years ago.

Oh, and I guess Alabama cares about bowl games again. When the Utes smoked them in the Sugar Bowl, the SEC apologists claimed that Alabama was just going through the motions. Those same morons are now trumpeting the SEC's wins over the Big Ten in the bowl games over the weekend.

Even though that was a rough time for the Big Ten.

TOUGH BREAK for Eric Mangini, that defense in Cleveland was starting to come around, but the last few weeks pretty much ended it for him. Do the Browns go with John Fox? This should be pretty interesting. At least Jake Delhomme and Fox can be reunited again.

And as much as this pains me to say, but the Raiders would be making a bad move to dismiss coach Tom Cable. The players gave their vote of confidence in a huge win over the Chiefs.

AND WHAT'S the story with Eagles QB Kevin Kolb? In a tryout for other NFL teamas, he looked awful. He wants to be a starter in the league, right?

The Eagles might have had nothing to play for on Sunday, but a great showing by Kolb could have made him an attractive option to a quarterback starved team like the 49ers, Cardinals or Redskins. Though, you get the feeling that the Redskins would not be a willing trade partner with the Eagles anymore, considering how well that whole Donovan McNabb thing worked out for them.

The most astonishing part of this Eagles game is that there was a point in time where the Eagles were going to forge ahead with Kolb. Make no mistake, the Eagles would still be playing in a meaningless game in Week 17 if Kolb was the starting quarterback. The only difference is that the Eagles would be on the golf course next week if Kolb had held on to his job.

THANK YOU to Chargers RB Ryan Mathews for showing up for the 2010 NFL season. You were about a week late, pally.

PLAYOFF PREDICTION is coming on The Weak Ender. But I'm am leaning towards the Patriots and Packers right now, though I do vow to take my time.

AND FINALLY ...

Kudos to the Falcons for dousing owner Arthur Blank with a Gatorade bath after the Falcons clinched the top seed in the NFC.

Not for the bath itself, mind you. The whole Gatorade bath has not only become cliched, but it increasingly dangerous as these coaches get older, or have health problems. Seriously, University of Florida players, you are going to give a Gatorade bath to a coach who is retiring because of a heart issue? Urban Meyer�s family likely held their collective breath after that.

But no, the Falcons deserve credit for having RB Michael Turner and WR Roddy White administer the cascade. You see, if your owner gets drenched by two of the team�s biggest stars, he laughs.

If Blank turns around and sees John Parker Wilson and Antone Smith holding the bucket, well, there could be no hot water at the team�s training facility this week.

The Post Mortem: Archie must be proud

Eli Messiah has always followed in his brother�s shadow. Although the gigantism of Eli�s helmet makes him cast the biggest shadow in the NFL. But let�s take a tale of the tape.

Gomer was the first overall selection in the NFL Draft. Eli did him one better by not only being the top selection in the draft, but crying until the Chargers traded him to the Giants.

Gomer took the backdoor to a Super Bowl title, and won an undeserving MVP award that was only given to him by the Manning-loving media. Eli not only matched him with his own Super Bowl win, but he won an even more egregious MVP award after David Tyree made a circus catch to win the game. Asante Samuel could have sealed that game by holding on to Eli�s errant pass in the closing minutes of the Super Bowl. But no, he dropped it. Even if the Patriots had won that game, Eli would have been only the second member of a Super Bowl losing team to win the MVP award.

But Sunday night was the big finale. The final straw that showed that Eli always manages to not only excel in Gomer�s shadow, but exceed it.

Gomer put the Colts on his shoulders again, but threw away a chance to beat the Patriots on the road by throwing an interception to lose the game. The Colts were in field-goal range to win. Gomer was not satisfied with that. He didn�t want to chance Adam Vinatieri blowing the game. Gomer wanted to blow the game and he certainly did.

Eli was even more spectacular in derailing the Giants. Not satisfied with just throwing one interception, he threw two interceptions in the final four minutes. And he made a nice scramble to pick up a first down, then tripped over his own face and fumbled to give the Eagles the game. You would almost believe that Eli was trying to throw the game, but he just does not look smart enough to pull that off.

Seriously, Eli. It might be time to ditch the beanie. You do not look like a smart man.

That was a pretty satisfying conclusion to a pretty good day.

THE RAIDERS came back to Earth. Which was nice. The thought of the Raiders being a decent team again was too much to think of. Of course, the Raiders themselves thought it was too ridiculous, too, as they went out and had that performance against the Steelers.

Although, the Richard Seymour punch to Steelers QB Ben Roethlisberger was a nice touch. You know there was a college coed in Georgia cheering that move.

STRANGE DAYS on Saturday. In the middle of the college football season, we had the UNLV hoops win over the Badgers, and the Kings win over the Bruins on the big screen at our local watering hole. Of course, when your other option was USC getting smoked again in Corvalis, then that explains a lot.

BTW, didn�t Oregon State get crushed by Washington State? Nice hire, USC.

AND FINALLY �

Penny Hardaway is thinking of making a comeback. Let�s hope that Lil� Penny will not be far behind.

The Post Mortem: That was an ass kicking

Redskins QB Donovan McNabb started sweating just by watching Eagles QB Michael Vick.

Was McNabb channeling his inner-Bobby Layne by drinking before the game? Perhaps earning his undeserved contract extension?

Former Eagles WR Terrell Owens put it best when he sent out this Tweet:

How do u justify a 78 million dollar contract w/this type of performance?

But not quite sure what Owens was getting at here. McNabb was at least in the game. Not standing on the sidelines burning $100 million like DT Albert Haynesworth.

I wonder what it would be like to spend all of that money on tickets to a Monday night game, wait around for the 9 p.m. tipoff and then before the first quarter even ends, your team is down 28-0? How many people were still tailgating in the parking lot when this game was over.

But here is the most charming story. Not sure if you caught the squabble before the game. But Redskins S LeRon Landry and CB DeAngelo Hall were jawing with Eagles WR DeSean Jackson.

Turns out that they were taunting Jackson because of his concussion problems. Classy. Looks like Jackson was the one delivering the knockout blow, moments into the game.

Now it makes sense why Vick dialed up a long bomb to open the game. Old Andy Reid was sticking it to the idiot Redskins.

I don't believe in karma, but this just might convince me.

NOBODY REALLY looked impressive at the top of the polls in NCAA football. Auburn mailed in its game against Georgia like they were doing the latest edition of the Weak Ender. Oregon was sleep walking. Boise State was doing what it does. And then there was Texas Christian.

Let's be honest, San Diego State has shown it can hang with tough teams on the road. Just ask Missouri. But here is the problem with the current system. The Aztecs were better off looking strong, then ultimately losing like they did. Because the Mountain West Conference could use the infusion of money stemming from a BCS appearance.

And the really sad thing about the BCS is that Pittsburgh is likely in.


BY THE numbers: Gomer had seven fantasy points on Sunday. Vick had 28 in the first quarter.

AND FINALLY ...

That 24 hour college basketball marathon is awesome. I am going to plan it better next year so I can spend that day in Las Vegas.

The Post Mortem: TCU impresses

Remember when the Cowboys were going to be the first team in NFL history to play the Super Bowl in their home stadium? Yeah, nobody in Dallas is going to be thinking about that.

But at least you have Texas Christian, Dallas fan. There is somebody who is fixing to play for the national title. Well if it gets a chance.

The Horned Frogs are currently No. 3 in the BCS, followed by Boise State. Kind of strange because TCU beat the No. 5 team in the country by, what, 80 points? The Broncos stuffed high-flying Hawaii and ground it to only 7 points. Obviously that was not enough to impress the voters.

Now, even the biggest cockeyed optimist realizes that an undefeated Pac-10 and SEC team is going to advance to the title game. Let's be realistic here. Even I would not be able to argue that.

However, I still firmly believe that Oregon and Auburn will lose a game this season. And when that happens, Boise State and TCU have done enough to earn a place in the championship game.

Now, some will argue that having Boise State and TCU is not a sexy championship game. I guess. But even Dennis Dodd believes the two step sisters deserve a shot at the title. Provided Oregon and Auburn lose.

And I believe it is going to happen. Oregon always finds a way to choke. Auburn is not running the table. But I am not kidding, if LSU gets in over an undefeated team ... well, there is not much that I can do. But goodness gracious, I will root against LSU.

Yeah, take that Tigers.

Other news and notes.

THE RAIDERS are winning again. This is a good thing. The Raiders fans -- even the most myopic -- were starting to roll over and piddle on themselves. Most Raiders fans wouldn't even have the passion to stab a Chargers fan. Now, Chargers fans are advised to wear Kevlar gear for the team's impending matchup in the coming weeks. But having the Raiders decent is a huge boon. That just makes it sweeter when they ultimately fail.

And hey, the guys who put Raiders stickers on the back windows of lowered mini-trucks is back in business. Hooray.

THE COWBOYS are losing. This is cool as long as the Raiders are winning. One of them has to be just good enough to fail in the playoffs again. So we will enjoy the Packers beatdown on Sunday night.

This space is reserved just in case coach Wade Phillips is fired on Monday. This is coming a bit later.

EAGLES QB Mike Vick has gone through the ringer, and really, he does not deserve our sympathy. But he's on my fantasy team -- along with Ben Roethlisberger -- on the Dog Killing Rapists, so I am starting to get a soft spot for him.

And then he beats Gomer. You have to love it.

FORMER BEARS QB Jim McMahon says that football is causing him to lose his memory. No Jim, that's called a blackout from drinking. Sheesh.

AND FINALLY ...

I am loving the Browns and RB Peyton Hillis. If for nothing else, Broncos coach Josh McDaniels traded him and a second-round pick for QB Brady Quinn.

The Post Mortem: Raiders Lead the Way

What are some of the most delightful storylines heading after just three weeks of the season.

GIANTS QB Eli Messiah is still brutal. Honestly, he will be viewed as the Trent Dilfer of the 2004 NFL Draft. That left-handed interception was one of the most brutal attempts at a play in quite some time. But nobody is willing to rip him because everybody loves his brother and treats his family as some sort of royalty.

Honestly, if Steve DeBerg had a couple of a-hole kids, would we think they were so great? And why was America�s Soccer Mom considered some great quarterback? Maybe it was the quarterback who was holding back the team.

THE 49ERS are annually the team that NFL pundits fall in love with. Oh, this is going to be the year that the 49ers reach the top. Well, they have been saying that since Mike Nolan�s second year with the team. But each season has been a disappointment. And do you think the Mike Singletary era is going to be any different?

Singletary went from a fire-and-brimstone coach that people loved, to a dude who is just plain crazy. Street rat crazy, if you will. This team has no chance.

But can somebody ask � how many offensive coordinators and coaches is Alex Smith going to be allowed to kill before somebody pulls the plug on him?

SPEAKING OF pulling the plug, underachieving again this season, Norv Turner? And yes, here we have an upstart team in the AFC West racing out to an undefeated mark. Where have we seen this before? Somehow the Chargers will find a way to win this division again. But destined for another playoff disappointment.

No, the truly greatest development is the Oakland Raiders continuing to blow. Seabass missing a chip-shot field goal was one of the least surprising, yet most rewarding plays of the first three weeks of the season. The Raiders finally did the right thing by going with Bruce Gradkowski, and this is how the organization is rewarded.

You have to love it.

BTW, one day after Seabass blows a crucial kick, George Blanda dies. Ironic?

AND FINALLY ...

Too bad for the Pac-10 haters, now that UCLA went to Austin and destroyed Texas. Wow, that was a beating. The Pac-10 is back, my friends.

Oh, and now we have a race to see who will line up against Boise State in the BCS title game. The Broncos are going to run the table � unless Nevada can rise up. And if that does not happen, Boise State deserves to be in the BCS title game. Nobody outside of Florida State and San Jose State plays as tough a schedule as Boise State.

The mistake the maroons make is that they look at what teams were ranked at the end of the season. But hey, Boise State cannot be faulted that Virginia Tech quit after it lost at home to Boise State. (Yeah, that was a road game for Virginia Tech.)

So to all of the Buckeyes fans, you have to admit that you have had too many chances and now it�s time to step aside. Kind of like the way the Angels are letting the Rangers take a crack at it this year.

The Post Mortem: Red Letter Day in Football

Who was the biggest winner on Sunday? The IT staff for the Greyhound Web site, since a Raiders' loss prevented all of their fans from overloading the site booking travel to Dallas for the Super Bowl.

Because right now, even the most ardent Raiders fan realizes that Jason Campbell is nothing more than a slimmed down version of JaMarcus Russell. Good luck with all of that.

But hey, at least Darren McFadden turned his annual one good game. Although it came in a losing effort. At least you got that one game out of him.

While we all rejoice in the Raiders' misery, let's not overlook their neighbors across the bay. Because every year, and I mean every year, the pundits are ready to hand the NFC West over to the San Francisco 49ers, yet they continue to disappoint. Every year.

And think about this when you look at the 49ers. The Raiders realized that Russell was a bust and they got rid of him. The Cardinals got rid of Matt Leinart. Yet, the 49ers continue to turn to Alex Smith year, after year.

Again, good luck with all of that suckers.

The 49ers rival only the Jets in undeserved hype every season. This has become rather disgusting. Enjoy your 6-10 season, Fricso.

What really made Sunday a special day was that St. Louis FC also lost. In front of maybe 20,000 fans in St. Louis. Seriously, if you cannot hold people in your stadium in a tight game with a rookie quarterback that was the top overall pick, then football is never going to work there.

The NFL should admit its mistake and have the team fold and restart the once proud Rams franchise in Los Angeles.

AND FINALLY ...

What a terrible officiating day in the NFL. Not what you want to see in Week 1. At least baseball has the no-replay to fall on when its umpires are terrible. What excuse does the NFL have?

Tim Hightower hit the ground and the ball popped out about six minutes later. Yet, somehow, this was ruled a fumble. And then -- because it was inside 2 minutes left in the game -- there was an automatic review of the play.

And despite the heavy visual evidence that the ground caused the fumble, the call was not overturned. Much to the dismay of broadcaster John Lynch, who obviously has not been jaded by the inability of NFL referees to see what ALL OF AMERICA can plainly see.

Then the referees decided the final play of the Cowboys vs. Redskins game. How about swallowing your whistle there and letting the players decide the game?

But the biggest grievance comes from that horrific call on Calvin Johnson's 25-yard touchdown reception that should have given the Lions at win at Chicago. The rule interpreted correctly, but the rule is absolutely stupid.

How long is a player required to hold on to the football? I think that a player should have to hold the ball for at least 24 hours before it can be ruled a touchdown. The player should have to go home and sleep with the ball. But if he drops it, no catch.

Way to go NFL. How you once again make a bad rule overshadow your game, it is amazing. Even PGA officials believe your rules are stupid.

The Post Mortem: Simple Solution to BSU Problem

There is an easy way to fix the current Boise State problem -- well, if you think that it is a problem at all. But here is what you do.

If you are Florida, Alabama, Georgia, Ohio State, LSU, Texas, etc., pick up your phone, call Boise State coach Chris Petersen and tell him that you would love to come play at Boise State in the coming years.

Problem solved.

But if you are not willing to go play at Boise State, well then you can just go (expletive) yourself. You honestly have no ground to stand on. Enjoy that Louisiana Tech vs. Boise State game later in the season, as you wish that somebody will do you own dirty work.

If you want to take care of the problem, do it yourself.

And really, does anybody play a tougher non-conference schedule than Boise State? No. 24 Oregon State, at No. 6 Virginia Tech. Only Florida State plays a tougher schedule out of conference with BYU, Oklahoma and Florida. But when was the last time the Seminoles even mattered in college football? Florida State is back to taking body bag games.

But the BCS conferences powerhouses will get their chance to take on Boise State ... in the national championship game.

AND WHY must Boise State always find a flair for the dramatic? The Broncos looked like they were left for did, yet still managed to rally to win the game. Just amazing. Honestly, if you are not impressed with Boise State, do not bother watching college football anymore.

And I will say it, too, both team's uniforms grew on me as the night wore on.

FORMER CARDINALS QB Matt Leinart is going to Houston. Well, I guess that ends the Matt Schaub experiment. And is Big Ben worried that Dennis Dixon will end up keeping his job in Pittsburgh?

AND FINALLY ...

Inglourious Basterds was the first Tarentino movie I have really enjoyed for quite some time.

The Post Mortem: This Post is Vuvuzelas Free

That was awesome of David Beckham to show up for the United States vs. England World Cup match, but why was he sitting on England�s side? You mean to say that he is not a part of Team USA?

Although, if Beckham played for America because of his Galaxy ties, I am sure many astute English observes would note that Tim Howard should be playing for England because of his Everton connection.

We will stick with Howard, thank you.

Because, as you can tell, goalkeeping means a lot in soccer. (Yes, that was a near Steve Bisheff-level of obviousness.)

For all of the congratulations and good feelings following America�s draw with England, there is something missing. I know that the U.S. does not have the soccer tradition of our European allies, but surely the States should be expected to beat a country like England right? I have to figure that are more students at Cal State Fullerton than in the entire country of England.

Honestly, England is a small Island nation. Surely we could find enough people in our country to be good at soccer right? And if we don�t China certainly will.

So I am here to say that we should beat England and be in the mix for the World Cup title. Why not?

And if we do not win, maybe we should take Chris Johnson, Darrelle Revis, Larry Fitzgerald and some of our other top athletes, pay them to dominate soccer, win the 2014 World Cup and then we can forget about the whole thing. How does that work for everybody?

BTW THE Columbian player who was killed for scoring his own goal in the 1994 World Cup thought that Green�s goalkeeping boner was rough. Yikes, he was like Jackie Smith in Super Bowl 13. Even Braylon Edwards thought he should have held on to the ball.

WRITTEN ON our English neighbor�s sidewalk over the weekend: �Who saved you in WWII?�

NEBRASKA IS in the Big Ten (or 12 now). Texas A&M is going to the SEC? All I know is that the people who make NCAA College Football have to be pretty pissed that all of this is happening right now. Though I believe that these conferences switches will not take place next year. Which will make a really strange lame-duck year for conferences such as the Big XII.

THE UNITED States did get a huge win over the weekend ... the Angels swept the Dodgers.

AND FINALLY ...

Vince Young is still stupid.

The Post Mortem: Finals a Worked Shoot

Well there is no use getting upset about an NBA Finals game that seems to have about as much legitimacy as your typical WWF match. I know it�s clich� to say, but could the referees be a bigger story about the Finals?

This crew took Ray Allen out of Game 1, and now the crew did the same to Kobe Bryant. You can tell that the NBA fans were tuning in on Sunday night to catch Sasha take on Nate Robinson. The NBA Finals � it is fantastic!

The only thing that you can think about during the Finals � other than how hot are the broads that Jack is checking out � is how much money are these NBA officials making because of their tilted officiating. There is no reason to believe that these guys are not dirty. They are like police officers driving around in $100K sports cars. What is to stop them from making money off the Finals?

For that reason, I refuse to get emotionally invested. Rather just view this as entertainment.

BTW RON Artest was called for a foul in that picture.

Remember the scene in Forest Gump where the Alabama crowd holds up the stop signs to stop Forest on kickoff returns? The Staples Center crowd needs to do that for Artest.

PROMISES, PROMISES. QB Brett Favre vowed to return to play for the Vikings if the Southern Miss baseball team returned to the College World Series. Bad news for Vikings � and perhaps fantasy football enthusiasts � the Golden Eagles were eliminated in the Auburn regional on Sunday.

Southern Miss� return to Omaha, Neb. � home of the College World Series � was a long shot, as the Golden Eagles entered the regional as the third seed. You almost get the feeling that Favre was making some sort of Todd Gack-like wager (for you Seinfeld fans), knowing that Southern Miss was not going to return.

So this means Favre is gone for good, right?

The Minneapolis Star Tribune says to not read too much into it, saying that Favre going through ankle surgery is probably a better indicator of his true intentions.

You also might have noticed that Cal State Fullerton eliminated Stanford. To be honest, I could not be bothered to watch anymore. Eliminating the Tree is enough.



TO SAY that Madden football is only a video game, would be like saying the Lombardi Trophy is just some award. Alright, that might be a bit of a stretch, but it�s not just the gamers who pay attention to the Madden ratings, the players take note, too.

Remember DeAngelo Hall moaning on his Twitter account last year because he felt that his Madden rating was too low?

Of course, these players could probably be more concerned with actually, you know, working on their skills. But that's just silly.

So you know that players are paying close attention to the Madden NFL 11 ratings, which were released on Monday. This comes as no surprise, but the Saints and the Colts are the top two teams. (via Game Spot).

The Saints (overall rating 92) and the Colts (91) had their ratings fall off the 2010 game, but still hold the top spot. The real question � who is No. 3? That�s the Ravens. Rounding out the top ten are the Jets, Vikings, Packers, Cowboys, Patriots, Bengals and Chargers.

The Chargers had their rating fall by four points. Did LaDainian Tomlinson and Antonio Cromartie mean that much? Or is Ryan Mathews rated way too low?

The Cardinals, however, took the biggest hit, down eight points to 79. Guess that is what happens when your potential future Hall of Fame quarterback � the Kurt Warner Machine � retires, along with a near roster purge on defense.

AND FINALLY ...

Tim Tebow is in the mix to be the starter in Denver? Seriously, Josh McDaniels really does not want to win.

The Post Mortem: Get Ready For a Cold Super Bowl

The NFL is inching closer to a cold-weather Super Bowl as New York (New Jersey) is one of the finalists � along with Tampa and Miami � for Super Bowl 48. Of course, many are opposed to a cold weather Super Bowl. This is kind of amusing because almost everybody was excited when they saw snow on the field for the 2007 NFC Championship Game.

So a cold weather Super Bowl seems alright, especially if it�s too teams you don�t care about. Or even better, if it�s Gomer trying to throw the ball during a snow storm. (Of course, this is setting up for the Chargers to be playing for the Super Bowl in the New Jersey snow in 2014.)
So the cold weather thing, that doesn�t mean much to me. Some experts are saying that this opens the Pandora�s Box for other sites. Maybe.

Patriots owner Robert Kraft believes that New York/New Jersey deserves the Super Bowl because of 9/11. That to me, opens the real Pandora�s Box.

So how do you explain pulling the Pro Bowl out of Hawaii? Our 50th state deserves the Pro Bowl every season because of Pearl Harbor. I mean, if we are going to wave the bloody shirt here, why not?

And does this open the door for Washington to get the Super Bowl? What about Pittsburgh? Oklahoma City? Denver (Columbine) certainly deserves to have the Super Bowl, too. New Orleans (oh wait).

This is the Pandora�s Box. What happens if Al Queda destroys St. Louis. Are we going to have a Super Bowl there? What�s to prevent Seattle from welcoming a terrorist attack, just to have another Super Bowl. Yes, that is the real Pandora�s Box.

LET'S BE honest here, too. The Super Bowl is not about real fans. Wouldn't you love to see a Super Bowl where half of the stadium is empty because who got corporate freebies ended up leaving? Either that or scalpers would sell to real fans. To be honest, I am rooting for the former.

IF COLD weather is no longer an option, what are some of the cold weather cities that deserve a Super Bowl? To me, Los Angeles should have Super Bowl 50. That seems automatic. My 1b choice would be Lambeau Field. In fact, the venerable stadium should be in the mix for a Super Bowl regardless. I hate to be one of those guys who say, �This town really deserves it.� But does any city other than Green Bay deserve a Super Bowl?

And hell, the NFL was born in Ohio. Where is its Super Bowl? How about a Super Bowl at Fawcett Stadium in Canton, Ohio? Or maybe Cleveland will do in a pinch.

SO IS Terrell Owens stalking Bears QB Jay Cutler?

Owens, not one to be shy, told the world on his Twitter account (via the Chicago Tribune) that he was going to confront Cutler about coming to Chicago after running into the Bears quarterback on Sunday night. Because, that wouldn�t be a diva-like, VH1 reality show way of handling things.

Seriously, T.O. ... could you be more gay (not that there is anything wrong with that).

�@ underground!! Waiting on jay cutler 2 come n here 2 explain how I wouldn�t fit n their system!! Where u @ Jay?!� Owens wrote.

Oh, but he pulled the rug out from all of us, when he said it was merely a coincidence that he ran into Cutler and TE Greg Olsen in Chicago. Owens claims that he was in Chicago for business and he happened to run into Cutler and Olsen. Crisis averted.

�naww I�m n town 4 business! Just happened 2 run n2 jay,� Owens told the world.

PATRIOTS WR Wes Welker told the Boston Herald that he is well aware of his Playboy image, as pictures of him and Ashley Dupre have made their way around the Web. �It�s funny, man,� Welker told the Herald. �I�ve been working so hard, and it�s like, �Oh, Wes is rehabbing at the Playboy Mansion or something.� I�m like, �Dude, it�s one night.� �

NEW CB Antonio Cromartie is eager to impress at Jets camp, starting by showcasing his kick returning skills. Coach Rex Ryan said that Cromartie will not be a full-time kick returner, but could be out there in certain situations. Well, anything that keeps him from tackling, I guess.

RAVENS RB Le�Ron McClain is starting a campaign, �MCCLAIN 4 RB.� McClain went from team�s leading rusher in 2008 to blocker for Ray Rice on season later. McClain would like to get some more carries. Fantasy owners are saying: Please no. Seriously, do not give coach John Harbaugh that idea.

AND FINALLY ...

This Angels season is depressing. And I blame the crappy starts to midweek day games.

The Post Mortem: Jazz Fans Still Blow

Why were the Utah fans so upset with Kobe in this photo? Did they honestly believe that Kobe was wearing the magic underwear?

Every time Kobe and the Lakers punk the Jazz (and it never gets old), I think back to Kobe's rookie season when the Utah fans jeered Kobe. Took great delight in all of those airballs that he threw up during that series. Laugh now, jerks -- is what I thought.

And that is pretty much what has happened every year since.

The best part of this picture, is imaging these two jagoffs walking out of the Delta Center (or whatever it's called now) wearing that ridiculous get up. Driving home and having to take that off. Hope you enjoyed it, fellas.

But before you give these guys too much credit for being clever, check out this story. Jazz fans have been jeering Derek Fisher, one fan even holding his hand over his left eye -- taunting Fisher's daughter who has cancer in her left eye.

Why the face?

That is pretty low. Look, nobody likes when a player leaves for another team (just ask Mark Teixiera), but this is extreme. Fisher left because his daughter had eye cancer, and Mormon faith-healing was not going to be enough. So he left. Seems pretty understandable.

To Jazz fans' credit, Fisher was cheered during the first year when he returned as a member of the Lakers. And even booing him in the years after is understandable, too. But the hand over the left eye seems to be a bit much.

And to make it worse, these fans are sober. If it's some drunk idiot doing something stupid. Hey, we've all been there. Sober and acting like this seems a bit excessive.

Hopefully the Lakers can just finish off the Jazz and get this over with.

SPEAKING OF Teixeira, he joined Lou Gerhig as the only Yankees sluggers to have three home runs in one game against the Red Sox. That is a low-hanging fruit right there, but in deference to calling out Jazz fans, you are not getting the joke you are all thinking of right now.

CONGRATULATIONS TO Dallas Braden for the perfect game. The best moment coming when his grandmother told A-Rod to "stick it" according to various reports. You may recall that Braden took exception to A-Rod running across the mound recently. What's awesome is that most people are taking Braden's perfect game as a slam on A-Rod. Just awesome.

SPECIAL THANKS to KC for filling in on The Weak Ender, as yours truly was in dispose. Nice work.

AND FINALLY ...

Did you miss Betty White on Saturday Night Live?

The Post Mortem: Irvin Lays Down the Law

The Cowboys do not retire jersey numbers. Some numbers, of course, are taken out of circulation. So do not expect to see many Cowboys players wearing No. 12, No. 8, No. 22, etc.

One honored number that�s in use is No. 88 � first made famous by WR Drew Pearson. That number has been worn proudly (by Michael Irvin) and not so proudly (by Antonio Bryant). Now it has been bequeathed to rookie WR Dez Bryant. And Irvin met with Bryant to make sure he realized the enormous responsibility of wearing No. 88 (via the Dallas Morning News).

�The responsibility of wearing Drew Pearson�s number,� Irvin said. �A lot of people have worn that Cowboys helmet before him and the honor it is to wear a Cowboys uniform. He plays for everybody that has played before him and for everybody that is going to play after him.

�I just wanted to give him a sense of the enormity of it all. And I think he understands that. And he remains humble, and that�s a good sign.�

Wow, it�s surprising there was no coronation ceremony with flowing robes, chrism and pointy hats to make this thing official. Of course, that might have been excessive.

FORMER LIONS QB Joey Harrington once told me that the best advice he ever received in football came from Barry Sanders who said, prior to his first rookie minicamp, �Find a good place to get doughnuts.�

Such is life for NFL rookies. Along with huge signing bonuses (for some), comes some humbling in the form errands, fight-song singing and other activities normally reserved for the kids pledging Delta House. Say, who is up for a road trip?

New Panthers QB Jimmy Clausen was given a grocery list by new teammate WR Steve Smith who asked the rookie to bring him some Cactus Cooler, according to the Charlotte Observer. Cactus Cooler is an orange and pineapple flavored soda (it is delicious) is only available in California and Arizona, making it necessary for Clausen to bring it with him on the plane.

Clausen should be lucky that Smith did not request a double-double from In-n-Out Burger.

JAGUARS LB Kirk Morrison told the Florida Times-Union that he�s looking for that winning feeling with his new team, saying it was tough playing for the Raiders. �Being on a losing football team after a while, people say it doesn�t get to you, but at times it does,� Morrison said Saturday. The Jaguars have won 14 games the past two seasons and haven�t reached the playoffs since 2007. But again, compared to the Raiders, the Jaguars are the 1960s Packers.

THEY SAY that you never get a second chance to make a first impression. Well for Jets rookie RB Joe McKnight, the second impression was just as bad as the first.

McKnight spent most of Saturday dropping passes, or taking a knee with a towel wrapped around his neck, one day after the rookie from Southern California puked on the field.

Yeah, you didn't just throw up in front of coach Rex Ryan, Joe. You threw up on coach Ryan.

�He�s fighting through it,� Ryan said. �It�s funny. Every time I look around, he�s got a wet towel around his neck� then he�s making one mistake after another. Then you put the ball in his hands � and he�s pretty good.

�I don�t know exactly what it is, but he�s fighting through it. Sometimes it takes a player a little longer to play like a Jet. Maybe the tempo�s different (from college). I don�t know.�

Of course, Ryan was quick to point out that there was a near panic when Shonn Greene struggled at rookie camp last season.

�Just go back to last year,� Ryan said. �Remember when you guys were telling me, �Shonn looks terrible.� I�m like, �No, just play the deflection.� Remember he couldn�t catch anything. Shonn Greene pulls up in the first special teams part of practice and I think he ended up working out really well. I don�t think we need to overreact with this.

�He still does some great things out there. I don�t know if it�s so much his physical conditioning. It may be a bug. The thing I appreciate about him is he is trying to fight through it, albeit on a knee most of the time (laughter), but he�s fighting through it.�

Well the New York media is known to give players ample time to work through their problems, so McKnight should be fine.

AND FINALLY

Go Lakers. Quit toying with me.

The Post Mortem: What's Up With the Hair?

Can anybody explain what is up with Ben Roethlisberger's hair? How would you describe it? My name for it ... the 'Bullet.'

Business in the front, rape in the back.

I find it curious that the Steelers were eager to deal the black troublemaker -- and former Super Bowl MVP -- for a fifth round draft pick, based on a few unconfirmed instances. But Roethlisberger will still be on the Steelers roster when the season starts (though, he may be suspended by the league).

Now, I do not want to pull out the race card here, and I do not believe it is the case. Rather it comes down to position. Receivers who can catch, smoke weed and throw drinks in broad's faces are a dime a dozen. Finding Super Bowl winning quarterbacks are very rare. Rapes be damned.

Of course, all of this alleged. But the DA made it clear that he does not prosecute on morales, only the law. And if the victim takes a cash settlement from Roethlisberger, well, justice is served.

But he should get suspended by the league.

AND FINALLY ...

Sorry for the rather poor effort. The standup is going good. I will have some more thoughts this week.

The Post Mortem: Shake Rattle and Roll

The Yankees and Red Sox kickoff the 2010 baseball season (instead of the Reds as tradition goes). The Duke Blue Devils advance to the NCAA title game. And yet, God chooses to rattle California.

What did we have to do with any of that?

And to top it off, Erin Andrews (photo via Deadspin) is now the target of death threats. Andrews is quickly becoming America's drama queen. If those nude videos (that you can apparently still find on the net, though I have not seen it in a while) were not enough to garner the sympathy vote in Dancing with the Stars, this death threat certainly will be.

And the more I see of Andrews from DWTS, the more she looks like Jennifer Gray in Dirty Dancing. Nobody puts Erin Andrews in the corner! Nobody! Death threats be damned.

Why would people waste death threats on Andrews when Keith Youkilis (sic) is still walking around?

Honesty, there is nothing nearly as disappointing -- sports wise -- as being so geeked up for baseball season, only to have the Yankees and Red Sox as the opening game. Nothing will get you ready for a 182-game season than a 5-hour game, with the ESPN announcers talking about a playoff intensity in April along with closeups of Southies looking concerned. Needless to say I passed. Sort of.

And we all know that Duke is going to crush Butler, right? But can we please stop all of the comparisons of Butler to Hickory High, the fictional school from Hoosiers? The Bulldogs opened the season ranked No. 11 in the preseason poll. Not really the David to Duke's Goliath.

Yes, Butler has a few white guys. Does not make them underdogs.

I WANTED to say that I lost respect for the Indianapolis Star for apologizing for this photo. But then I realized that I do not have respect for newspapers anyway.

AND FINALLY ...

The Eagles finally dumped Donovan McNabb, and it was to division rival Washington. That takes some pretty big stones. Especially when the Eagles saw Brett Favre ride his Packers like he was Tera Patrick. And if they did not see it, they no doubt heard about it.

So what are the Eagles thinking here? Are they so down on McNabb's skills that trading him to the Redskins was no sweat.

And what are the Redskins going to do here? McNabb cannot be viewed as a long-term solution. Do they still go QB in the first round? Wait for the second and go Tim Tebow? So many possibilities.

What is interesting to note is that the Eagles could have traded McNabb to the Raiders, but coach Andy Reid is not a vindictive a-hole to his former players.

But please Washington, bring WR Terrell Owens in for a visit!

The Post Mortem: Hot Tub Time Machine

There is a McDonald's commercial where this douche-nozzle walks around telling people, "Don't talk to me until I had my coffee." His roommate, people on the bus, a little dog ... don't talk to this guy until he's had his coffee.

I would like to follow this guy. Staying behind him, watching him be an a-hole to the entire world until he gets his coffee. And once he finally has his coffee, I would like to walk up behind him, tap him on the shoulder and say, oh yeah, your apartment is on fire. I didn't want to say anything to you until you had your coffee. Jerk.

But that's just me.

If you can think of a stronger punch line, leave it in the comments. You might get that joke told on stage. Only, I will not pay you. At least not until I had my coffee.

What a weekend. Although, here are some quick thoughts on the college basketball. ESPN's Sports Dork Bill Simpson ruined Omar Samhan. That was criminal. Ohio State showed the class everybody knew they did not have. And F me, Duke is in the Final Four.

And I am always curious why certain people hate Duke. My disliking for Duke is quite well known, seeing that I grew up a UNLV hoops fan. But to me, the bandwagon Duke hate makes about as much sense as Ricky Martin singing 'She Bangs.'

Because, really, how would he know?

HOW DO we not have a Facebook page asking CBS to use Gus Johnson to call the Final Four instead of Jim Nantz? Can somebody jump on that?

PROPS TO Steelers WR Santonio Holmes for trying to take the heat off Ben Roethlisberger by acting the fool in some nightclub. Wow, what happened to you Steelers? You used to be one of the best organizations in sports.

AND FINALLY ...

This normally never happens to me (it's not what you think), I finally saw a long-anticipated movie on opening day for what has to be the first time since Return of the Jedi. (Though, I might have done this with the Ocean's movies, too, but nobody was waiting to spoil those films.)

But I did get a chance to see Hot Tub Time Machine on the first day and it was incredible. The amazing thing is that the movie was made for people in my age group. Many of the jokes and a special cameo were targeted to those quickly approaching 40 faster than they would like.

Even then, the movie still captures the heart of younger audience members. In an effort not to spoil anything, I will say no more. But when asked for a comparison, I would say Hot Tub Time Machine dominates The Hangover.

The Post Mortem: Jay Bilas Speaks the Truth

The Hater Nation is going to attempt something that has never been done on the Internets -- praising an announcer. This will likely get us shunned from the cool-kids club, but you have to give credit where credit is due.

Jay Bilas, despite being a Dookie, was actually really good in the ESPN selection show after CBS went off the air. Bilas had always been one of those guys who had always bugged me, but he is really coming into his own as an announcer.

Bilas made an astute point that we as basketball fans complained when the mid-majors were robbed last year. And now people are trying to complain about the power conferences being snubbed in 2010. Bilas made the point -- none of these teams that are snubbed are going to win the national championship.

He is absolutely correct.

So I appreciate the NCAA selection committee rewarding some of those mid-major programs, giving them a chance to establish themselves. Illinois, Virginia Tech and some of the other 'big-time' schools can complain, but those programs had the chance to win games, and win conference tournaments. You need to win to get in.

For too long, the BCS-level schools have avoided scheduling teams like Utah State. So it was great seeing the Aggies get into the tournament. Maybe the Illini or Hokies should take a trip to Logan, Utah next year to avoid this. Not that I would expect it, but that is one way to solve the problem, Seth Greenberg.

Now the West Coast mid-majors need to make some noise in the tournament. I called for these teams to be included, prove your worth.

WHILE WE praise Bilas from Duke, it seems that the NCAA selection committee thinks a lot of Duke as a program, too. The Blue Devils received probably the easiest path to the Final Four. Or at least the Elite 8, Where they will run into West Virginia, and our misery will be ended. Duke's bracket is more favorable than Kansas who will face a near murderer's row to get to the Final Four starting with UNLV in the second round.

But going back to Duke, did anybody notice that ESPN's Sports Dork Bill Simpson was weighing in with the Duke hate? The Sports Dork, who famously does not follow college sports that he almost becomes smug about it. (Almost?)

The guy who admits that he has no idea about college hoops, so much so that he is trying to find ways to 'fix' the tournament (here's a hint, it is fine), hates Duke.

The reason why this is relevant is because the Dork seems like the kind of guy who should be rooting for Duke. Honestly, both Duke and the Dork are a perfect fit.

WHO THE hell is Wofford? Honestly.

WATCHING FORMER Chargers RB LaDainian Tomlinson in the green and white will be difficult. And you could argue that like Antonio Cromartie, LT did a great job of helping the Jets to the AFC Championship Game last year.

But consider this, Tomlinson might not be one of those players who had an off-color curtain call like O.J. Simpson (49ers), Emmitt Smith (Cardinals), Franco Harris (Steelers), Ki-Jana Carter (Saints).

Tomlinson is actually upgrading teams, unlike the aforementioned superstars. The Jets line is one of the best and he will not be asked to carry the load. Not going to predict any sort of Curtis Martin-like rebound, but Tomlinson could post solid numbers and good become one of those touchdown vultures for the Jets.

Do not be surprised if it happens.

NOBODY WAS happier on Selection Sunday than Brady Quinn being selected by the Broncos. The Browns could have dealt Quinn to the Broncos last year for Jay Cutler. Now the Browns get like a sixth-round pick.

Enjoy Jake Delhomme.

AND FINALLY ...

My quick bracket pick, Kansas over West Virginia.

The Post Mortem: We Still Own the Moon!

�We will not take this lying down. Hit them in their soft financial underbelly. Until we get OUR HOCKEY GOLD no Canadian liquids for me, not Molson beer, no Canadian whiskey, that stupid Ginger Ale or maple syrup.

It�s on.

And we still own the moon.�
-- The Reverend

Well, I might be taking the loss to Canada a little bit better than our good friend the Reverend. And imagine how he would have felt if he knew that the men�s hockey team lost to Canada, too.

And really Canada, your women�s celebration was much, much better than your men. Where were the beers and cigars on the ice? That really was awesome.

So now we must go through the song and dance about how much this is going to increase the ratings of the NHL. Well, if you could find an NHL game on television. But while this should help the popularity of the sport a little, there is no reason to believe that there will be a swell of new hockey fans.

I like hockey. I consider myself a casual observer. A playoff hockey fan if you will. Though the recent history of the Kings has meant that I have been on a hockey strike for a long, long time (though that will change this year, fools!).

But my biggest gripe is who cares? My joy of a sport does not depend on how many of my fellow countrymen are watching the game. Screaming, cheering and creating a scene after the USA tied Sunday�s game was awesome and led to some camaraderie with the neighbors. But why does it have to mean that hockey will take over the world?
They do this stuff with soccer, too. They are so egger to make soccer the next big thing. And it never happens. The same for NASCAR, too.

How about this people, let�s just say that I can enjoy my sports without them taking over the world. I will be back to hockey when the playoffs start. Just don�t push me.

THE NEXT big sport to take over the world is curling! Alright, I am just kidding.
IS COORS Light a Molson product? Wow, I don�t know what I am going to drink now. At least there is Pabst Blue Ribbon.

VIKINGS FANS are going pulling out all of the stops to get Brett Favre back. Billboards, newspaper ads (like he reads the paper), etc. I guess the threat of Tarvaris Jackson being your team�s quarterback will do that.


AND FINALLY �
The NFL is considering a rule change to its overtime. The gist, a game ends if a team scores a touchdown on the very first possession. A field goal gives the other team a chance to score. If the teams trade field goals, it is on to first to score wins.

Good lord. Why does this have to be so bloody complicated?

College has the best overtime rules. The NFL should just take a modified version of it. Instead of starting at the 25-yard line, push it back to the 40, to take away the chippy field goal. But good Lord, why are they make such a huge ordeal about this? You stole the 2-point conversion from college, why not this?

The Post Mortem: USA! USA!

Our good friend Johnny California was wed on Saturday and unfortunately, we were not able to serenade the new couple in a USA! USA! chant, as we would have liked. (Honestly, this thing was at the Biltmore in Los Angeles and seemed a touch inappropriate.) Thankfully, the United States hockey team allowed us that opportunity.

And before we get on to the game (well, come on I am not a hockey expert), can we please stop with all of the comparisons to the 1980 team? We can have two great hockey experiences in our lifetime. Both wins kind of stand out on their own. But to be perfectly frank, these two wins really do not mirror each other at all.

The was the whole college players vs. Russian professionals (which sounds like a Showtime soft core movie). Oh yeah, and the Cold War. Come on, we have an open border with Canada.

So let's leave 1980 on its own merits and enjoy this game for what it was.

For starters, the Canadians are not eliminated. This was a great win for our team, and damn I was excited, but this is akin to the Jets beating the Colts in Week 16. What really matters is the gold medal.

But this does give the United States team a ton more confidence, while Canada skated off the ice with that shellshocked look typically reserved for Gomer. Canada looked so nervous during the game, you had to wonder if Tony Dungy was over there calling the plays. The Canadian team looked like they had the steely resolve of native son Michael J. Fox during that game, especially Martin Brodeur.

Overall though, this was a thrilling game and for somebody like me, who has seen the Team USA and the Los Angeles Kings return to relevance in the same year, I am now looking forward to the Stanley Cup Finals.

STILL NOT getting passed the Michael J. Fox joke, right? Moving along.

AT LEAST Canada still has curling. The Canadian women looked confident and poised, a stark contrast from the men's hockey team. And that broad who is the main curler for Canada, she looks like she should be starring in The Real Housewives of Canadian Curling. She has that look.

BTW, there seems to be some controversy brewing over the crowds at curling, that they might be a little too cheerful. Are you kidding me? Your drinking game is in the Olympics, be glad people show up at all. If anything, you should be made to do shots if you miss all of the other stones on the ice. So be happy that 'excessive cheering' is all you have to deal with.

HAS ANYBODY watched this Boss Undercover show on CBS? Wow, watched the 7-11 and Hooters episodes back-to-back. Good stuff.

AND FINALLY ...

I feel like this will be a big week. Maybe more than two posts. Yep, I am feeling it.

The Post Mortem: Nice Try D-Bag

The most indelible image of Super Bowl 44 will be Gomer laying on his back, watching helplessly as his inevitable game-crippling interception is returned for a touchdown, seemingly ending the Super Bowl.

This is a Gomer I am more comfortable with. Watching Gomer become a confident, assertive, almost clutch quarterback would be akin to watching Clay Aiken win the WWF championship belt.

That just does not fit.

Gomer finally got his comeuppance, much like Ronald Miller when Cindy Mancini revealed that he had paid her to date him at that New Year�s Eve party in Can�t Buy Me Love.

Let us be real here. Gomer won a Super Bowl against Rex Grossman. The Colts beat the Jets and Raven in the playoffs � ending Mark Sanchez and Joe Flacco�s seasons. As Bain pointed out, the Saints ended the season � any made the careers � of the Kurt Warner Machine and Brett Favre.

Big difference.

Speaking of which, Lil� Hater nailed it when he said that even Favre was embarrassed by Manning�s interception and pick six. Thank you Gomer, it is good to have you back.

Of course, the world was ready to crucify Favre for making an error. The media is already making excuses for Gomer, noting that he had a good game (but not as good as Favre had in New Orleans). Only Deion Sanders had the guts to call Gomer a choker. Is anybody else going to jump on board? I feel like Bobby 'the Brian' Heenan telling people about Mr. All America, but nobody will listen.

HOW ABOUT America�s Soccer Mom? Archie Manning struggled for years with the Saints and when his team finally wins a Super Bowl, he cannot celebrate because his idiot son lost. Karmic justice does not always move swiftly, but Mr. Saints cannot participate in the team�s championship parade because they beat his boy. Honestly, nothing could be better than that.

Suck it, Archie. (Yeah, real mature but come on, it captures the moment.)


NOW, THIS is normally not THN�s style. We should instead be reveling in the fact that not only did the Colts lose � but it was all Gomer�s fault. But we have to give some love to Saints QB Drew Brees. Because Brees certainly deserved to not only win this game, but join some of the elite quarterbacks in the NFL. Brees always seems to be on the cusp of top NFL quarterbacks, outside of the circle set aside for Gomer and Tom Brady.

And how does Chargers GM A.J. Smith feel right now? He let two Super Bowl MVPs get away. Not that the Chargers are not in good shape with Philip Rivers. The team has other problems other than quarterback, but if Smith ever let Rivers go, he would eventually be a Super Bowl MVP. (And is it fair to note that he passed on Ben Roethlisberger, too?)

THE COLTS are built for the regular season. Like they are the NFL version of the Angels. The Colts are not a postseason team. The Colts were taken apart physically and strategically � all in one play.

The Saints onsides kick showed that plucky spirit of a team playing to win. The Colts had a chance to recover the ball � Mr. Kendra Wilkinson, Hank Baskett blew that chance. The Colts, I am convinced, probably had the ball in that scrum that followed. One of the best scrums in NFL history, mind you. But the Saints proved that they wanted it more with that play, and it was at moment, where the real persona of the Colts started to surface.

The Colts have never showed any sort of killer instinct. Again, their only Super Bowl win came against Rex Grossman.

That onsides kick was only exasperated by the way the Colts finished the first half. The Colts had already driven 90 + yards for a touchdown in the first half. The Colts had the ball with close to two minutes left to go, and they run it three times? Did the Colts even want to win this game? Gomer had a drive that brought them back against the Jets during the end of the first half in the AFC Championship Game. The Colts could have delivered a crushing blow to the Saints in that instance.

They chose to Claude Lemieux, instead.

That is Colts football to me. So why I should not be surprised, I mean, of all people, I should not be surprised, but the Colts fulfilled their destiny again.

Think of it this way. Both teams were 13-0 this season. The Colts decided to rest their starters and play like punks. The Saints wanted to go undefeated. That winning mentality showed in the Saints on Sunday. The Colts, not so much.

PROPS TO Bain, he nearly nailed that final of the Super Bowl. And had Gomer punched it in, it is a spot-on prediction. To be honest, when you are looking for a Super Bowl pick, go Bain. He nails it every year.

SO KIM Kardashian wins the E! Channel bowl, right? No Ian Johnson moment from Reggie Bush though. Smart Reggie, smart.

AND FINALLY ...

Gomer's all-time playoff record, 9-9. Does that sound like the best quarterback in NFL history? Gomer's passer rating was near 90, but again, that interception.

The Post Mortem: Best Pro Bowl Ever

Some are calling Sunday's Pro Bowl the best of all-time. Be glad that the response is going to be cleaned up after words like handjob were going to be used in an analogy. And cousins.

But I digress.

But I haven't seen people go through the motions so obviously since Nicole Kidman was married to Tom Cruise.

The Pro Bowl had all of the sincerity of a stripper explaining that this is her first weekend on the job, and that she is going back to El Paso to be a paramedic.

So lets dispense all of the niceness.

CBS is squarely on my s-list right now, and deservedly so.

The argument I laid out on Friday, still rings true today. In this economy, no television network should be turning down $2 million for a 30-second commercial. Want to deliver a pro-life message? Fine, give me $2 million. Want to advertise your gay dating website? Wonderful, give me $2 million. Want Gomer to sell televisions?

We will get back to you on that one.

I have the same argument that I had before. Is a 30-second spot going to turn you gay or even offend you? And let's be real, this is not anti-gay. Because when two chicks say, 'Let's make out' during a Miller Lite ad, that is a ratings hit. But two guys embracing on a couch, that is too racy.

Honestly, that is tamer than the sexual tension in Top Gun.

To be honest, CBS is probably not entirely at fault here. You have to imagine that the NFL is a little bit uncomfortable. Because the only embracing and other homoerotic behavior should be saved for the field, not the Super Bowl commercials. The only ass-grabbing should come from Brett Favre. The only endzones to be violated should be the ones on the field, and at Terrell Owens' house.

And speaking of distasteful. CBS ruined How I Met Your Mother with Jim Nantz and Nick Swisher on one episode. What, did they have to balance out the extreme awesomeness of having Rachel Bilson and Amanda Peet on consecutive weeks?

Here is a question I have, too. If CBS is so concerned with family values, why is Nantz being allowed to broadcast the game? He cannot keep his wife happy.

Too soon?

EDGE WINS the Royal Rumble. That, next to Wrestlemania, is my favorite WWF PPV. We will get into the Super Bowl tomorrow as Media Day rolls on.

AND FINALLY ...

The Bears have hired Mike Martz? Wow, that offense should be great outdoors. In Chicago. In the winter. I don't have the stats, but you have to imagine that Martz's offense struggles out in the wind and snow, right? Although, that is a guess.

Oh, and Cutler should buy some health insurance. He is going to get his butt kicked.