There is some huge soccer match going on today, so THN has turned back to it�s famed soccer correspondent Lil� Deiter to give us a take as to why you should hate the two teams playing in the Champion�s League finals.Greetings The Hater Nation fans, I am so happy to be with you again. I get so depressed when they play the Saving Private Ryan on television because each time I keep hoping that the right team will win this time. I kid. I love you Americans.
Much like how you Americans felt when the Giants and Patriots played in the Super Bowl, the Champion�s League will give you the same disappointment. So here is a quick look at the teams.
ManUnited = NY Yankees = Both long-time standard bearer for having jackass front-running fans. Both hail from ugly cities. Both have stupid American owners. Both pay top dollar for other team�s best players because they can�t develop their own. Both teams� best player is (most likely) gay. Both teams have had high-profile players busted for performance enhancing drugs.
Chelsea = Red Sox = Both setting standard for new era of jackass front-running fans, who just jumped on the bandwagon recently but pretend they�ve been fans forever. After years of mediocrity, both teams gave up trying to develop good organizations and just started buying their way to titles in last 3-4 years, pissing off ManU/NY, who thought they were the only ones that could do that. Both have female fans that aren�t easy on the eyes.
They finished 1-2 in England �s Premier League, and now are playing for top spot in Europe �s top club competition. Sorta like two teams from AL East playing again in playoffs, but without Joe Buck ruining things, so advantage soccer there.
Hopefully my cousin, Lil� Hater will actually follow through with his blimp threat during this game.
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