The Post Mortem

Johnnie Morton deserves a lot of thanks for illustrating that MMA is truly nothing more than human cockfighting, something that should be reserved for the school yard flag pole at 3 p.m. Actually, those school-yard brawls likely draw more spectators than the alleged 10,000 people who showed up to the LA Coliseum on Saturday to watch Morton get whipped in his professional debut. (On a side note, Morton was knocked out by a comedian, so let that be a lesson to all of you.)

Former WWF champion Brock Lesnar also was on the card, winning his pro debut. Yeah, sorry to doubt that MMA was on the up-and-up. MMA is like, totallly legitimate.

So let's see if this is correct, the future of MMA is in the hands of a former NFL player who got knocked out in under a minute, and a former WWF champion? Cool. But hey, maybe it's working because MMA is getting a lot of attention by both its fans and its critics, like THN. They are getting the last laugh right now.

MMA FANS

Joe Dirt was on cable on Sunday, illustrating where MMA draws its fans. If you are into the whole MMA thing that�s cool. People like the WNBA, too, so there is no accounting for taste. What�s troubling is that MMA fans have joined soccer and NASCAR fans as those annoying people who don�t believe that the majority of the populace who don't like the sport don't "understand it." Listen, third world countries and the English enjoy soccer, so it isn't as sophisticated as you think. If the average redneck gets auto racing, again, you aren't exactly splitting the atom. Ditto for MMA. As somebody who watched the first season of the UFC reality series, right up to the Liddell/Couture fight, it's just not that interesting. There is a reason why the WWF exists, and that is because real fighting is boring. Let's close the book on this and move on.

BILLY DONOVAN

Dude is having second thoughts on jumping to the NBA. Moron. As McLean Stevenson indicated, just take your money, have a couple of losing seasons in Orlando and head back to the college game in five years. That is the smart thing to do. Going back to Florida (especially now) is foolish.

And would Florida even want him back? The school would be justified in refusing to let Donovan rejoin the club, telling him to hit the bricks to find another college gig. How would you be able to trust the guy?

• The Angels have only one guy capable of winning a game with a walk-off home run and the Orioles pitch to him. Not like you can pitch around Vlade because the dude's strike zone stretches from foul line to foul line. Still, it seemed like forever since the Angels had a chance to be on Sports Center because only walk-off home runs seem to make the show.

• Ducks defenseman Chris Pronger might be able to find work in MMA if the NHL continues to suspend him. Holy hell, what was wrong with the hit that leveled that Ottawa Senators guy? The Senators look more suited for Disney on Ice, rather than the NHL. Actually, the Senators look like the small dudes from the old Nintendo Ice Hockey game. You know, the fast dudes who were easy to knock off the puck.

• Chris Webber is not going to win an NBA title. That brings a smile to the face. But the NBA got it right by having LeBron James make it to the finals. Of course, if the NBA was run by the dudes who run MMA, James would have been knocked out in the first round of the playoffs, while Hulk Hogan played center for the Spurs. Hey, that last one is not a bad idea.

• Cal State Fullerton is leading 10-1 in the eighth at the time of this posting, closing in on another berth in the NCAA Super Regionals. So much for a down year. Barring a comeback by Fresno State, the Titans would likely host UCLA in the Super Regionals. Arizona State also will play host to Mississippi in the Super Regionals. Obviously Pat Murphy had his hand in choosing his bracket, seeing that he got to avoid some of the West Coast powers, instead hosting a pushover from the SEC.

• You have to hate the Yankees, but damn, you have to rejoice in knowing that it must kill Boston fans (alright, only the Sports Dork Bill Simpson) to have A-Rod beat their closer. But hey, those blonde masks were kind of funny. Probably not now, but they were at the time.

AND FINALLY

We�ll let Lil' Hater take us home with his thoughts on A-Rod.

Why was everybody making such a big deal about A-Rod yelling �mine� to that Toronto third baseman? If Derek Jeter had done that play, the nation would be fawning all over him telling him what a great play it was. Besides, if anybody had tried to do that to Cal Ripken, he would have caught the ball, punched A-Rod in the neck, and pulled a lady out of a burning building.

Bad news, Lil' Hater, Joe Morgan agreed with your during Sunday night's contest. That has to be unnerving.