Friday, June 29, 2007

The Weak Ender

A lot has been made this week of all of the professional wrestlers who have died before their 65th birthday. But in doing some research, there is an even more disturbing trend in the entertainment industry�Playboy Playmates dying too young.

Evidentially cosmetic surgery is far more dangerous than anabolic steroids.

Sure, we could do something to clean up the wrestling industry, but saving the Playmates should be our first priority. So please join THN in our new philanthropic venture, "Save Our Playmates."

FEELING A DRAFT

Anybody else excited about the Lakers drafting of Jarvaris Crittenton? Seems like a solid pickup and the kind of tall point guard that Phil Jackson likes to use. Crittenton will probably take minutes away from Jordan Farmar, meaning his ears will be hidden on the bench.

But who is it that the Lakers picked up a guy that would probably have been a better fit for the Clippers? The LA JV team also passed on USC's Nick Young, too. You have to love the way the Clippers just don't seem to care about basketball, especially with an uninspired pick like Al Thornton. Seems like another in a long line of anonymous forwards the Clippers have picked. What a waste. Maybe the Clippers should just pass on the draft next year, at least it will be less painful.

Draft grades are so lame, but the Sonics drafted Kevin Durant and Jeff Green from Georgetown? Did David Stern set this up for a last minute push to keep the team in Seattle or stacking the deck for the team's move to Las Vegas? Because you can't waste Durant in Oklahoma City.

  • Crittenton won�t like change Kobe�s mind about being traded. But somebody should remind Kobe that when he was 19 years old, he was chucking air balls in a playoff loss at Salt Lake City. Instead of asking to get rid of Kobe, the Lakers veterans put their arm around the gifted player because they could see the potential. Too bad Kobe can't pay it forward with Andrew Bynum. Instead, he spouts off to a couple of dorks with a camera phone.
  • Does anybody have a hard time taking a sports league seriously when the commissioner comes eye-to-junk with most of the players?
  • Nothing is better than watching Danny Ainge and Kevin McHale become two of the worst NBA general managers in the league. Sorry for being na�ve but Ray Allen is still in the league? Good lord, it seems like He Got Game came out 20 years ago.
  • Somebody please put an end to the trend of referring to centers and forwards as �bigs.� This trend became popular about four years ago, but now it�s just getting out of hand.
  • The Joakim Noah-era of the NBA is going to kick much, much ass. Everybody laughed at Noah wearing the bow-tie, but watch, it will become the biggest fashion trend within six months.


  • You don�t want to panic about a sweep to the lowly Royals because the Angels looked about as interested as a pack of husbands at a cotillion. A couple of weeks back, THN championed the cause of charging extra for Yankees, Red Sox and Dodgers games. But charging people money to watch the Angels play the Royals is almost criminal. At least they had some good giveaways for the fans that matched the players generous attitude in giving away three games to the Royals.
  • And who will you remember the Shea Hillenbrand era? Yeah, totally hard to believe that the Hillenbrand era ended badly. Sports By Brooks put together a good comprehensive list of Hildenbrand�s transgressions over the years. He was called the Terrell Owens of baseball, except that T.O. is actually good.

  • Tony Gonzalez is going to have a commitment ceremony in Huntington Beach this weekend with his long time girlfriend because, "He doesn't want to sign no stinking papers." Gonzo obviously doesn�t want to suffer a similar fate of Michael Strahan. But why would his girlfriend go along with this? Because she obviously understands community property laws in California.
  • Good news to fans of downtown Las Vegas: Binion�s has been sold to the owner of the 4 Queens. The owners of the 4 Queens pour millions in renovating the old lady recently, but if they just restored the 3-to-2 single-deck blackjack at Binion�s, that would be enough. (Maybe you can reduce the price of Miller High Life, too.)


THE LINKS
Rumors and Rants also grows tired of the Sport's Dork man-crush on Kevin Durant. How many are rooting against Durant because of Simpson? It's just plain wrong.

Our Book of Scrap continues it's hottest wife contest. THN has long boycotted this thing following Angie Harmon's ouster.

Fletch should have its TGITDNMAR up at Blog Cabins by now. If not, quit slacking.

This is a great recap of the draft, over at Insomniac's Lounge.



AND FINALLY

Congratulations to Frank Thomas for hitting his 500th home run and then taking the rest of the afternoon off as he was tossed out of the game. Do you think Thomas went up to the umpire and was like, �Dude, Skip won�t give me the rest of the game off so can you toss me so I can go pound some beers?�

However, the best news in this whole thing was baseball fan Todd Eisenlohr who caught the 500 ball and gave it back to Thomas in exchange for an autographed jersey, bat and ball. Eisenlohr also refers to big men who play basketball as forwards and centers. What a great American.

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