"Rob is not Jesus"

Mailbag column this morning, including a brilliant Oscar host suggestion that will never come to pass, plus a little more on my "American Idol" equation, which I realize I should have excerpted here when it ran on Friday, so here's the relevant portion:

I've been working on this equation over the years, and it comes out something like this: (performance quality x 2) + (minutes of pre-semifinals screen time x 4) + (show placement, where end of the show equals 10 and beginning equals 1) x (judges' comments, where a rave from Simon equals 8, a scathing pan from Randy equals 9, and lukewarm sentiments equal 2) + (amount the audience feels you would be crushed by elimination, a k a the John Stevens IV Factor) - (4 for every insult of Simon) = possibility of staying, with the higher your score, the better.

A very good "Amazing Race," with a cool Roadblock, tons of great quotes (at least a half-dozen lines would have made strong episode titles), almost every variety of mistake possible (missed road signs, misread clues, showing at the mat without a clue, etc.), but at the moment Rob and Amber are competing at such a higher level than everybody else that I think the only way they can lose is by bad luck. I like having them around for entertainment value and as an example of how well somebody can race, but I don't want them to win.

Also, did anybody watch "The Winner" and have thoughts on it? And it's the last day for suggestions on tacky or otherwise unfortunate reality show contestants from the great state of New Jersey.