Thursday's Sweet 16 Predictions

But first on Tubby Smith�good for him for getting out of Kentucky. Why put up with trying to win national championships when you can hang out in Minnesota, win 18 games a year and be considered a hero? Smith is a hero to slackers and underachievers everywhere. Celebrate Smith�s decision by taking tomorrow off to play some golf.

On to the predictions:

FANS WILL quickly turn off the Southern Illinois/Kansas game when they get a glimpse of some of the Saluki players, Randal Falker and Jamaal Tatum, believing that they have stumbled on to a women's basketball game. Watching Southern Illinois lack of scoring won't help change that notion...

SPECULATION ON John Calipari going to Kentucky will dominate the conversation during the Texas A&M v. Memphis game. This will constitute the most anybody has ever thought of Kentucky, outside of Ashley Judd wearing that hockey jersey...

SADLY BRUCE Pearl will keep his shirt on...

DID YOU know that Ben Howland once coached at Pittsburgh? The prediction here is that the announcers won�t talk about it once. They won't talk about Jamie Dixon being Howland's prot�g�. The announcers will instead talk about what�s happening on the basketball court. No, not seriously...

WESLEY SNIPES and Woody Harelson will challenge Greg Oden to a game of two-on-two, thinking that Oden is really one-half of the "King and Duck" duo from White Men Can't Jump. Larry Bird will then correct them and say that Oden is the reincarnated body of deceased Celtics star, Robert Parrish.

WAIT A minute. Parrish is still alive? What are the (expletive) odds?

YOUR HOST will show up tomorrow claiming to have gone 4-0 in all of his picks, doing it after the fact. Just kidding, here are the picks, Tennessee money line, UCLA first-half under and Texas A&M giving the points.