The Weak Ender

At first glance, this seemed like some sort of rip-off of the tournament Zach LS is running over at TBP, but NBA.com is legitimate holding a contest to determine which NBA franchise has the best dance team.

Talk about a NBA playoff that actually is watchable. This is outstanding.

The ironic thing is that the Sacramento Kings actually have a pretty legitimate team. The Cow Town that Phil Jackson often refers to produces some fine farmer�s daughter kind of way. But it should be no surprise that the Miami Heat are the reigning champions in this.

What, did Kobe find a way to run off all of the hot Lakers girls to Miami so they could win the title?

The Heat now has the Lakers coach, center and the NBA�s top dance team.

The biggest disappointment is the Clipper Spirit. Not to say that these girls are skanky, but if they ever wanted to do a sequel to Showgirls, they won't have to look very far. This is the kind of team that makes the Avengers A-Team look like the Rockettes. If anybody else was around for the RHL, they are even lower than the Anaheim Bullfrog girls. (Seeing those girls in clothes instead of on stage at Fritz's Too was surreal.)

And what's the deal with the Celtics squad? Unusually good looking for a New England-based team. Rumor has it that these girls are shipped in from California. Maybe a trade can be worked out with the Clipper Spirit.

THE FINAL FOUR

Can't figure out which way to go with the UCLA game. On one hand, Florida just looks cool and unbeatable. They are unflappable. In the victory over Oregon, the Gators never were seriously threatened because they make the big shots when they counted. So how can you pick against them? At the same time, you can�t discount the Bruins because of that whole revenge factor. Kind of like Duke over UNLV in 1991.

And before Seitz chimes in, the Runnin' Rebels did not throw that game and it�s ridiculous to even think that. Those UNLV players were making sick cash during those days, with sham jobs as valets at the Las Vegas Hilton. There wasn't enough money for them to throw that game, plus somebody would have heard about it. Now, if you wanted to make real money, you could have had the Runnin' Rebels throw a game against Fullerton or Santa Barbara during the regular season. But this team went to every dingy gym in the Big West and won, so the whole "game fixing" thing doesn�t carry much weight because this team had too much pride. Sorry. Duke actually had a good game plan, played the best game of its life, received some favorable homerism from the refs and won by two points.

So for right now, THN is leaning towards the Bruins and the points. But there is something about Ben Howland that screams of Marty Schottenheimer. His Pittsburgh teams always lost in the Sweet 16. So maybe with better talent, he�s doomed for failure in the Final Four now. So for right now, lay the points and take Florida. Tight teams never seem to do well, and right now the Bruins seem tight.

• With John Thompson III, Patrick Ewing Jr. the only logical question is, "Where the hell is Michael Graham Jr.?" What, he could have been conceived during a conjugal visit, right? No, seriously, what happened to Graham? Jail, right?
  

• Lay the .5 in the first half, and 1 point overall on the Hoyas. No team has lived on more borrowed time than Ohio State. Oh, and practice your Dr. Hibbert impersonations before Saturday�s games, will you?

• Right now, THN is leaning towards UCLA on the money line. And the first half under.

• From the Desk of Lil' Hater: The NFL has made replay permanent and will install high def cameras in all but three stadiums�Texas Stadium, the Colts dome, and Giants Stadium. Why bother spending $300K to improve the technology at Giants Stadium when the officials are going to give them the calls anyway. At least they are honest about it. They would re-cable Dallas and Indy�s stadiums, too, but they are afraid T.O. or another Dungy family member would use the cable to try and hang themselves. Heyooo! I�ll be here performing at State Line this weekend.

• Right now, THN likes the Gators on the money line.

• You know its baseball season when the Angels are back snot-kicking the Dodgers in their own stadium. And congrats to Scot Shields for his huge contract. Be sure to buy us a round at The Catch next week.
  

THE LINKS

• While lusting over Halle Berry, remember this: she almost killed herself over David Justice.

• Tom Coughlin jokingly compares himself to Hitler. People are probably going to crucify Coughlin for this and yes, Hitler sucks. But that most NFL announcers draw in hyperbole and compare football to battle, is it really that much of a stretch?

• Who has the ugliest team in the Final Four?

• Check back in this section for updates as cool stuff is found.

AND FINALLY

Florida, lay the points.